How They Came to Be
by imsonotagirl93
Summary: How did Lily and James got together? James' seventh year and how James made Lily say "YES!" and what did he do to make Lily change her mind. Don't worry, Lily's hard to get ;D
1. Head Boy

**I own nothing!**

**Tell me what you think; constructive criticisms are very much appreciated. :)**

**-imsonotagirl93**

**How They Came to Be**

**Chapter 1: Head Boy**

Prongs, Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail, they were known as the Marauders, top pranksters at Hogwarts.

Prongs, also known as James Potter, was considered the leader of the group, he has messy, jet-black hair and wore round glasses, his vision really was quite awful. He was usually behind all the pranks involving boys who were getting _too near_ to a certain red-haired, high-tempered girl in their year. He didn't care at all about his studies, though he was really smart. He was an animagus that takes the form of a stag.

Padfoot, also known as Sirius Black, was the best mate of James; he too, has messy black hair, though not as messy as James, which fell to his shoulder. He was really behind all the pranks the Marauders did. Like James, he didn't care about his studies but was exceptionally bright. He was also known as the _playboy_ in the group. He too, was an animagus and transforms into a big, black dog.

Moony, also known as Remus Lupin was considered as the most mature and most normal in the group, in fact, people didn't know why he hangs around with them. Unlike his friends, he was never an animagus, he was a werewolf though. His friends knew of course, that was the main reason why they were animagus, to accompany him during his transformation.

And finally, Wormtail, also known as Peter Pettigrew, he was not really that smart, unlike his mates; he follows them around everywhere they go and was the most coward in the group but his friends accepted him. Like James and Sirius, he too, was an animagus in the form of a rat.

The three were laughing about some joke Sirius made, but James had no idea what they were talking about, he just sat there, looking out of the compartment's door, oblivious to his friend's half-confused, half-curious stares. It was the first time that James didn't laugh about something Sirius said, even if it wasn't funny; they always found a way to make something that wasn't funny, funny. Sirius was about to call James' attention, when James saw a red-haired girl, who practically took his breath away and that was saying something when it comes from James, she has a huge smile on her face.

Lily Evans. James' continued to stare at the spot where she walked; he promised himself that he would make things better this year with his relationship with Lily. For the past six years, Lily considered him as her enemy but he considered her as the girl he fancies so much that he can't really consider other girls as beautiful. James had received several rejections from her; people actually thought that he will give up on her eventually, especially girls, but James' just can't give up on her. He constantly tries to speak to her in a mature way but every time he looks into her emerald-green eyes, his mind goes blank and without meaning to say it, he'll just ask her the question that irritates her most, "Go out with me?" It was pathetic really but he can't control the way true loves works.

He promised himself that he would do everything that he needs to, to finally win her heart, no matter what it takes. He'll _deflate_ his head, whatever that means, like Lily said.

He heard a quiet cracking sound in front of him and he saw Sirius fingers in front of him, he was snapping his fingers together to get his attention, which was clearly not with his friends. "Prongs, aren't you supposed to be with the Head Girl in the prefects compartment? Honestly, staring at the place where she walked isn't going to help you to _win her heart over_, whatever that means," he said, rolling his eyes, he was really tactless when it comes to this stuff, he only snogs girls just for the pleasure of it.

Remus shook his head and Peter let out an unnecessary girlish giggle. "Oh- Oh yeah! See you later," he said, ignoring Sirius' comment, "James! Wait up!" Remus called after him as he walked out of the compartment, James' forgot, Remus was the seventh year prefect, he didn't even know why he became a Head Boy, he was never a prefect and Remus was the responsible one.

Together, he and Remus made their way to the prefect's compartment, James had a grin on his face, he just realized that he, as Head Boy, would be spending more time with Lily, who was obviously the Head Girl for she was the best in their year. Well, patrols were not really that romantic, but at least he will be with her and he has the chance to talk with her.

Once they were near, they heard a familiar shriek from the door. "Then who's Head Boy?" Lily Evan's panicked shriek cam out from the compartment.

"Er- I think I should go in first, to break the news, I don't think she'll react fine…" Remus suggested as he entered the compartment. James grinned to himself, wondering how Lily would take this. James just stood there, smiling to himself. He can hear Remus' quiet and calm voice.

There was silence.

"WHAT?!" Lily shrieked. Believe it or not, this was one of the things that James likes about Lily; she always blows up in unexpected ways. Like this one. James stifled his chuckling and chose the moment to enter.

"Hey Evans! Fancy meeting you here! Miss me?" He greeted her, staring at her half-bewildered, half- angry face, grinning as he sat down in the seat beside her. However, Lily still stayed standing looking at him as if this was the first time she saw him. James patted the seat beside him. "What are you going to sit or not?" he asked her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with her eyes on him. James gazed deep into her eyes. For a moment he just sat there, lost in her emerald-green eyes. Then images of him and Lily came in his mind's eye, kissing in the corridors during patrol. Lily raised her eyebrows at him; it took a moment for him to register in his mind that Lily was waiting for his answer to a question he doesn't remember. He could see the other prefects looking at him.

"Er- Sorry, What- What did you say?" James asked her uncertainly, embarrassed. Lily rolled her eyes, "How did you become Head Boy?"

"I dunno, ask Dumbledore," James answered; honestly, he didn't really know how he got Head Boy. It was _really_ unexpected. Lily let out and exasperated sigh and finally sat down beside him. Lily really took the time talking because James didn't know what to say, he never attended this kind of meetings before. Lily talked as he stared. Every year he was getting desperate that he would completely zone out whenever he saw Lily, daydreaming about him and Lily, like he did a while ago. He had the feeling that this year, his desperation will start to grow more. Remus kept on shooting glances at him, which meant something that James doesn't know.

When the meeting was gone, Lily let the prefects go to patrol the corridors. "So Evans, what are we going to do now?" James asked her but Remus cut in,

"James can I talk to you outside?" he asked him, giving him a stern look, "I promise that he will do the patrols here, I just need to talk to him," he added to Lily who looked suspiciously at them, well, actually at James because Remus was the most _normal_ in the Marauders and was like Lily, though he was second in our year and he was the responsible one and Lily trusts him, unlike the other Marauders. Lily nodded at them.

Remus pulled James out of the compartment, "Honestly, James, if that was the way to _win over Lily's heart_, then I assure you that it's not going to work," Remus said, half-stern, half-concerned.

"Why not?" James asked him, slightly confused.

"Really, James, you need to _deflate_ your head, I'm not saying that because I agree with Lily, well actually I do, but I don't want you to hurt your feelings, so I'm warning you now," Remus explained.

"What are you my parent?" James asked, sarcastically, "And how exactly does _deflating_ my head mean? My head is perfect shape," he added touching his head.

"I didn't mean that literally, James. I mean, stop thinking high of yourself! Maybe if you don't do what Lily doesn't want you to do, then maybe you should stand a chance," Remus explained at James.

"What do you mean?" James asked once again, still slightly confused. Remus sighed before putting an arm on James' shoulder before saying,

"Stop hexing people just for the fun of it, stop showing off with the snitch, and stop ruffling your hair,"

"Remus, you know that that's a habit whenever I'm nervous or angry or something and for you information, my hair is naturally messy!" James protested, thinking of what Remus just said. Maybe he was right. Remus rolled his eyes at his friend's reaction.

"Fine," James said when Remus gave him a look. Remus smiled at him and said, "Good luck, mate, I really don't want to see that you're hurt,"

"You flatter me, Remus," James said in a falsely sweet voice, batting his eyelashes. Remus rolled his eyes and walked away, "And be responsible! You're Head Boy!" Remus called from behind his shoulder.

"Yes, daddy!" James called back in the same falsely sweet voice. He heard Remus chuckle quietly.

He entered once again at the compartment. Lily was sitting there, reading a book and was totally focused on it that James didn't think that she noticed his presence. He was about to walk up to her and say "BOO!" when he remembered what Remus said to him. He was the smart one, maybe he was right. After all, he was the only one of the Marauders to whom Lily talks to, she considers him as the most mature of them all. Instead he said, "Evans, aren't we supposed to patrol the corridors?" as he sat beside her, looking at the book she's reading. It was _Hogwarts, A History_… again.

"No, we have to wait until all the prefects come back before we patrol the _whole_ train," she said, not even looking up from her book.

"Oh, so we're stuck here together?"

"Sadly," she answered, still not looking up from her book. James sighed, Sirius said that it was a lost cause but James' isn't giving up, so he continued to talk to her.

"What do you like about that book, anyway?" he asked her, trying to make small conversation. Lily finally glanced up. "It's interesting," she said quickly before plunging back into the book.

There was a moment of silence.

"Why can't you even look at me for even a second longer?" he blurted out. Actually, this fact really hurts him more than he shows other people. He tried to put all the emotion in his eyes. Lily looked up; there was a flicker of something in her face, before James could identify it, her expression quickly changed into irritation, "_Because- you- are- an- arrogant- bullying- toerag_," she said, emphasizing every word. These words actually went through him like a sharp knife. He really was turning desperate, these words never stung him like this, well, it did a bit, but that was before, it never stung him this much. He took a deep breath; it felt like he swallowed a bludger.

"But, I-I _never_ called you a- a… _Mudblood,_" he spat the last word out.

"Yeah, you never did, but you're as bad as _him_," she said, knowing exactly what James is pointing out, "keep ruffling your-!"

"Hair because I thought it would cool if I looked like I've just gotten off of my broom, hexing people just for the fun of it, playing with that stupid snitch," James said, looking straight into her eyes, "Yeah, I know, do you want to add anything?" James asked sarcastically, he felt an odd feeling in his stomach, like an invisible hand was squishing his insides. He tried to keep all the hurt from his voice but he didn't quite manage it, judging by the look in Lily's face.

Suddenly the prefects entered. Others were shocked by the looks on the Head Boy and Girl's faces. "Come on, Evans," James said in a dead voice as he stood up and walked out of the compartment, ignoring Remus' concerned look, and started to patrol the corridors without even waiting for Lily. He didn't know why he was feeling like this, the odd feeling was still there, getting worse. "Potter!" He heard Lily call as she caught up with him, "Look, I'm sorry for what I said. I'm not really having a good day. My sister was babbling on and on about how much of a freak I am on the way here," She added when James merely nodded to acknowledge her.

This made James feel a little better. He had heard stories about Lily's sister and it was awful. He completely understood.

"Yeah, never mind, I understand," he said to her with a smile on his face. The fact that Lily actually talked to him without insulting him or being sarcastic drove all the hurt and pain away, he loves the effect she had on people. Well, on him, at least.

They did the patrol in comfortable silence. Nothing really happened that much except from Lily and James, quite hesitantly, told others off for bullying first years and lower year levels. James got nervous when they were nearing their compartment. Sirius would surely laugh at his face for telling him off because of a prank.

When they were close to the Marauders' compartment, James let off a sigh of relief, there was no sound coming from it. When they were exactly across the compartment, he glimpsed what was happening inside, Sirius was laughing, if possible, with no sound and Remus and Peter was grinning broadly, before he tripped into a tree root out of nowhere and fell on top of Lily Evans.

That's right, on top of her.

It felt like an electric charge was going through his body. For a moment they just stayed where they are. James was staring at her, his mouth slightly opened. Lily had a shocked expression on her face, until there was a cough from the Marauder's compartment. Lily's expression turned from shocked, to angry, she was flushing, but not out of embarrassment but out of anger. James, though, still looked into her eyes, images of him and Lily flashed through his mind. "Potter! Get away from me!" Lily said, bringing James back to earth.

"Er- Sorry," He said as he stood up and held his hand for Lily. But she didn't take it, he could feel his face heating up, Lily stood up, "Whatever it is that you're planning, I assure you that I'm not going to fall for it," she said menacingly, glaring at the four boys.

"You already fell, Evans," Sirius said, still laughing. Lily rolled her eyes exasperatedly and without even a glance at James, though she glared at the other three Marauders, even at Remus, she walked away. "Patrol's over Potter," She said in a cold voice over her shoulder.

"You set that up!" James said to Sirius as he sat on the seat beside the window, Sirius was still laughing, this time, with sound, while Remus and Peter was chuckling lightly.

James didn't pay attention to his friends, looking outside the window. He was going to make his seventh and last year at Hogwarts worthwhile. He didn't know how but he's sure that he'll make it… somehow.

The train ride at Hogwarts was short; James was still ignoring his friends for what they did. Once they arrived at the Hogsmeade station, they heard the familiar call of Hagrid, the Hogwarts' game-keeper, "Firs' Years, Firs' Years here,"

The Marauders, James still ignoring his friends, found a stagecoach pulled by thestrals, even though they couldn't see it. The journey to Hogwarts was really quiet because James determinedly ignored them.

"Come on, Prongs, it was just a laugh," Sirius said as they entered the Great Hall, James still ignoring his friends, "Yeah right!" James said as the four sat on the Gryffindor table. Just then he saw a certain redhead, entering the Great Hall, with her friend, Mary Macdonald. The two were giggling and James couldn't help but stare at the redhead, mesmerized. When she caught him staring her expression turned from happiness to anger and if possible, disgust.

"Hey Evans!" James called out to her which Lily gladly ignored and sat far away from the Marauders.

"Thanks a lot Padfoot," James said gravely, glaring at his best friend, "What?" Sirius said innocently, as if he did nothing wrong.

"Because of that prank of yours, Lily won't even talk to me!" James accused his best friend; he never really understood this kind of thing. Love wasn't his thing.

"It's not like she says something nice when she talks to you," Sirius reasoned, shrugging. Remus sighed at Sirius' attitude. Then, the first years entered, gazing around the Great Hall, some, obviously Muggleborns, stared at the ceiling in awe.

"I swear, they're getting smaller," James' whispered to Sirius, indicating the first years, forgetting that he was supposed to be mad at him, he can't really hold a grudge against Sirius, and he was after all, his best mate. "I know," Sirius said, grinning, glad that his best friend finally talked to him properly.

Once the sorting was done and the new students were already with their Houses, Dumbledore stood up.

"To the new students, welcome! And to older students, welcome back…." James stared where Lily was seated, intently listening to what Dumbledore was saying, though they always hear it every year. He sighed, he thought that the end of her friendship with Snape would finally bring her closer to him, but he guessed wrong. He doesn't really know why she preferred Snape to him, he was a Slytherin and he hangs out with those Death Eaters, at least that's what they call themselves. "…. Dig in!" Dumbledore said as delicious food filled the table.

James quickly did what Dumbledore said, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily staring at them and saw her mouth move to form the word, "Boys." Well, he couldn't blame her; it really was hard to resist the temptation of food, for him at least. When the feast ended and Dumbledore was done with his usual speech, James and the Marauders made their way to the Gryffindor Tower. James was thinking of how comfortable his four-poster was when he heard a voice, calling his attention.

"Potter! _Potter!_" It was Lily Evans, her hands on her waists, a stern look on her face. "Oh," was all James could say, he was really tired and he forgot that they were supposed to guide the first years. James sighed as he said goodbye, reluctantly, to his friends, the thought of leaving his four-poster a little while longer made him even more tired.

Guiding the first years to Gryffindor Tower was not as easy as it looks. Others were actually bouncing in excitement, making it hard to get their attention when making reminders and others tried to wander off alone. Lily didn't speak to him throughout the way to Gryffindor Tower making him think that she still remembers that Lily prank that Sirius had set on them.

Once they already arrived in front of the Fat Lady, they informed them of the new password, _"Tapeworm," _and once they already knew their dormitories, Lily quickly made her way to her dormitory without any other word to James.

"Goodnight, Evans!" He called out to her. But the only reply he got was,

"Goodbye, Potter!" With that, she vanished inside the staircase leading to the dormitories. James stood there, looking at the staircase desperately, as if Lily would suddenly come into view and finally talk to him.

When he convinced himself that Lily was not going to show up, he dragged his feet up the staircase to the boy's dormitory. When he came inside, he saw that Remus was already in his bed, reading, while Sirius and Peter was talking. "How did it go?" Remus asked as James made his way to his bed. He shrugged, not wanting to tell them how desperate he was.

"G'night," James said as took of his glasses and closed his eyes, dreaming about Lily, Quidditch and Lily.

*** * ***

**So, here's chapter one, review please! Chapter 2 will be up either later or tomorrow. :D**


	2. Classes

**I own nothing!**

**So here's chapter two! Again, tell me what you think and constructive criticisms are very much appreciated! (: REVIEWS PLEASE!**

**-imsonotagirl93 **

*** * ***

**Chapter 2: Classes**

"Still not giving up on her?" Sirius asked James as he watched Lily during breakfast as if watching her with so much intensity would make her his. Sirius sighed as he received no response from his friend.

"Prongs?" Sirius tried to call his attention but failed. Still, he received nothing.

"Prongs!" Sirius called once again, a little louder. Nothing.

"_Oi! Prongs!" _Sirius shouted at his ear, finally sending James back to earth. Several Gryffindors looked at their way, but Sirius ignored them.

"What-? Oh, What- What did you say?" James said, turning pink as he ruffled his hair. He always does when he's embarrassed or angry or nervous.

"You know, I think you and Evans isn't going to work," Sirius said as he dug into his sausages, in a matter-of-fact tone and Peter chuckled. James sighed.

"Thanks for reminding me how desperate I'm turning, Padfoot! I really appreciate it!" James said sarcastically as he buried his face in his hands, groaning. Some girls in table near them giggled.

"Why can't you just stop? There are plenty of girls in the world," Sirius said, gesturing to the girls who giggled when James spoke. James shook his head, he wasn't like Sirius, snogging girls anytime and anywhere, as long as that particular girl was beautiful. He glanced at them; one of them was Camilla Vane, who was always making hints on how much she likes him and how she was better-looking than Lily Evans. James rolled his eyes; no one was more beautiful than Lily Evans… for him.

"I just can't, everytime I try, I fail. I can't forget her!" James explained, hiding a smirk at the group of girls' disappointed faces. He slammed his head on the table.

"What? Worried about your mum, Potter?" said a drawling voice, which he would recognize and hate anywhere. James head shot up, "What are you talking about, _Snivellus_?" he said menacingly.

"Oh… Nothing, Potter, I just thought that by now, you would've known," Snape said mockingly, smirking on some kind of inside joke, "I guess I was wrong,"

"What do you mean?" James asked, glaring at Snape who was sneering back at him. He was starting to get worried, what did he mean about his mum? His mum was perfectly fine when he left the house to go to the Hogwart's Express, except for a slight fever, but she was perfectly fine.

"Nothing, Potter," Snape said, sneering at him, leaving James, staring at his retreating back, his mouth slightly open. He was starting to panic, was there something wrong with his mum or both of his parents?

"He's just messing with you, James," Sirius said, slightly concerned upon seeing James' worried expression. James nodded; maybe he _was_ just messing with him. He noticed Remus' silence. He was eating silently and he looked worried and more alarmed.

"When's full moon?" James asked him eagerly, whispering, leaning closer so that no one would eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Next week," Remus stated gravely in a whisper. "Cool!" James exclaimed, suddenly excited, he needed something exciting to distract himself. "I mean… Be safe! Don't worry, we'll be there!" James added in response to his friends' incredulous stares.

Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily's friend, Mary Macdonald, leave her seat, leaving the seat beside Lily empty and vacant. Without thinking, he stood up, without saying a word to his friends and James quickly dashed off to the seat beside Lily Evans before someone else sat beside her, not that they would, especially the boys, because James will not give up on pranking them so bad until they stay away from her.

"Potter, what're you doing here?" Lily said in an irritated voice, not looking up from today's issue of the Daily Prophet.

"Good morning to you too, Evans," He could see Sirius and Peter chuckling and Remus shaking his head from there, "Look, I'm sorry for the incident in the train, I want you to know that it's not my fault and it's entirely Sirius'" he apologized. Still, Lily didn't look up from the newspaper but merely nodded. James buried his face in his hands once again but quickly removed them saying,

"I'm irritating you, aren't I?"

"I'm glad you noticed that, Potter," Lily said glancing up at his face for a split second before returning back to the newspaper.

"Why do you still read that stuff anyway? It's just full of Dark Stuff," James asked, trying to make a conversation that would get Lily interested. "I like to keep in touch with the wizarding world," Lily said simply, turning a page of the newspaper.

Just then, Professor McGonagall came, handing out the course schedule, "Glad you two are finally talking, Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans," the Professor said as she handed the two their course schedules, "I hope your schedules would help you _cooperate _more," she added as she walked away, a slight smile on her face.

"What did she mean?" James said, grabbing Lily's schedule, ignoring her protests. James scanned their schedule and found it exactly _the same_. "Hey, Evans! We have the same schedule!" James said happily. Lily grabbed her schedule back, a panicked expression on her face, _"WHAT?! This can't be happening!" _she shrieked, grabbing James' schedule, scanning it, her eyes becoming wider and wider. She was actually fun to watch when she's like that, always blowing up in unexpected ways. The people near them were actually looking at them, some stifling their laughter.

"Oh, come on, Evans, on the upside, you're with me!" James said, amused but Lily completely ignored him and stood up walking out of the Great Hall, looking disgruntled. They had Transfiguration as their first subject and everyone knows that she and James were fighting for the first rank. James sighed happily as he walked back to his friends. "You have the same schedule with Evans?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," James replied, smiling at the thought of having Lily in his every class and free period.

"You?" he asked, Sirius handed him his schedule. "Great! I have Transfiguration next too," James said when he saw Sirius' schedule, "What about you Remus?" he asked.

"Potions," Remus said and James turned to Peter, "Herbology," Peter said after swallowing his sausage.

"Well, better be off, Evans might be in the classroom already," James said in high spirits, so the two of them headed to the Transfiguration classroom. Once they entered the classroom, sure enough, Lily was already there, reading her book. When James and Sirius entered, Lily glared at the two boys and James' grinned stupidly at her while Sirius smirked.

"Hey Evans!" Sirius said as he and James sat themselves at the seats beside her, "Fancy seeing you here," Sirius said, sitting between Lily and James. "Hey Evans," James greeted her, waving, still grinning at the girl who was glaring back.

The rest of the class started to enter the classroom, once the students were settled in, Professor McGonagall entered the room. Before starting the lesson, McGonagall explained to them what N.E.W.T.s is, although everyone in the room already knows about them, Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests. She stressed on how it affects their whole future because they need to pass the subjects that are required for their chosen ambition.

James chose to be an Auror, like his mum and dad, so he needs to pass the subjects Defense against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration (his best subject), Potions, Herbology and Charms. When McGonagall was done with her speech about N.E., she started on the lesson. They will be working on Human Transfiguration, including Animagi, much to James and Sirius' delight.

"What is the difference between an Animagus transformation and a human transformed into an animal?" asked McGonagall.

"When you're an Animagus, during transformation, you get to keep your mind-," Lily stated.

"But when you're human, transfigured into an animal by a wizard, you don't keep your mind-," James said, adding information to what Lily said.

"And you need to that wizard who transformed as an animal to transfigure you into a human again because you can't transfigure yourself," Sirius added. The three of them earned approving looks from McGonagall, especially Lily and James.

"Very good, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, five points each to Gryffindor," McGonagall said as she continued to explain more about the subject. Lily listened to her very intently even though she already knew about it. James and Sirius weren't listening though, due to the fact that he and Sirius _were_ one.

Instead, James watched Lily, occasionally writing down notes, who was completely pretending that he and his best mate weren't there. James just looked at her stupidly throughout the rest of the class, as if she was the most beautiful in the world. Well, in his world, actually. Sirius had his head leaning against his hand, slowly falling asleep, with James occasionally nudging him when McGonagall looked at their way.

Transfiguration passed by quickly, owing to the fact that McGonagall took most of time of the class during her speech about N.E..

When the class ended, Sirius immediately left to head down to the dungeons to take Potions while James and Lily had Charms. Lily quickly went out of the room and James quickly caught up with her. "Hey," he said.

"Potter," she said to acknowledge him but said no more. James looked down, _"What was he supposed to say?" _He asked himself, James took a deep breath.

"So, was your summer?" he asked, hoping it was a good subject to keep her talking, unfortunately he had chosen the wrong subject for Lily replied in a sarcastic voice.

"It was great, really! Apart from the Howlers I received yelling, 'Will you go out with me?' from a certain, James Potter, you know him?" she looked up, glaring at James' guilty face. Indeed, he had sent Lily howlers because if he sent letters, she wouldn't open it and the image of Howlers competing with Lily's loud voice when agitated seemed fun.

"Er- sorry about that," James said, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he ruffled his hair.

They were walking through a staircase towards the Charms classroom; James just stepped through the last step of the staircase when there was a sudden crash followed by a faint crack. He looked around to see Lily on the floor, clutching her right ankle.

James immediately walked towards her, more like jumped towards her and crouched beside her. "Are you alright, Evans?" James asked worriedly seeing Lily's face, contorted in pain.

"I am perfectly fine, Potter," she said, in a voice that doesn't sounded like fine, when James tried to touch Lily's ankle which she gladly shoved away.

"No, I think you're not," James disagreed but Lily kept on shoving his hand away. "Come on, Evans, I'll take you to the Hospital Wing." He was intending to carry her but Lily shoved his arms away once again.

"I am perfectly… capable of walking… by myself," she protested while taking deep breaths. It was quite clear that her ankle was bothering her. She tried to stand up but her right ankle couldn't support her weight anymore. She was about to fall when James grabbed her and scooped her up in his arms.

Again there was this some kind of electric shock, running through his body at the moment she touched her. Goosebumps erupted from his arms as he walked, Lily Evans in his arms. He felt a sudden urge to just lean down and kiss her.

"Put me down, Potter!" Lily protested, trying to break free of James' arms, but it was too strong for her, holding her in place. "I'll think about it," James said, looking straight ahead, resisting the urge of kissing her. He put on a falsely concentrating face for a second before saying, "No, I don't think I will,"

"Put me down, Potter…. _Put me down!_" But James ignored her, a smile spreading across his face; he was actually carrying Lily Evans in his arms, it would be a perfect moment for him if Lily didn't kept on protesting and trying to shove his arms away, but continuously failing. When she realized that she was not going to win and shoving James' arms, made strong by six years of Quidditch, was a lost cause, she finally fell quiet, crossed her arms on her chest and glared at the ceiling.

James glanced down at her and felt that odd, tingling sensation in his stomach, the urge to just swoop down and kiss her, became stronger when their eyes met.

Hazel to Green.

James hastily looked away, restraining himself to just kiss her full on the mouth. When they finally reached the Hospital Wing, James sat her on an armchair and knocked on Madam Pomfrey's office.

Once she came out of her office, she put her hands on her waists, raising her eyebrows, "It's you, again?" she said. Indeed, he had been sent to the Hospital Wing by teachers because of Quidditch accidents, so he couldn't really blame her of getting tired of her, last year he was always here every week because of practicing to win the Cup and he orders the beaters to hit the bludgers as strong as they could and he always said that he doesn't mind if he gets hit.

"No it's not me! It's Evans, I think she broke her ankle," James said hastily, pointing at Lily's figure on the chair as Madam Pomfrey heaved a sigh of relief. The times James went to the Hospital Wing was never a pleasant memory.

"What happened to her?" Madam Pomfrey asked, walking towards Lily. James answered the question immediately, worried.

"She tripped on the staircase."

"And you decided to carry her here?" Madam Pomfrey asked him knowingly. James' turned slightly pink; did the whole staff know that she fancies Lily Evans?

"Well, what am I going to do? Drag her here?" James exclaimed, ruffling his hair out of embarrassment. He noticed that Lily glared at his hand, and he quickly dropped it. He really _does_ need to stop doing that.

"Well, you ought to go back to your class, I'll take care of Miss Evans, here," said Madam Pomfrey, a slight smirk on her lips.

"O-okay," James agreed with her reluctantly. He wanted to stay but Lily would just rant on him and maybe reduce him to pieces, you'll never know when she'll blow up so madly.

James headed out of the doors and walked silently to the Charms classroom. He heaved a sigh, he was beginning to lose hope, it seems like Lily was even irritated by his habits. _"But you mustn't! Besides, she doesn't even know that it's just a habit!"_ He reminded himself. When he entered the classroom, it was to find Professor Flitwick, standing on a stool so he could see everybody while making a speech about N.E., it seems like all the teachers would do that today. Flitwick stopped and looked sternly at James.

"Sorry, Professor," he said. Flitwick nodded as he continued with his speech and James walked inside, looking around, he saw that the only available seat was beside Lily's best friend, Mary Macdonald. He sat beside her.

"Where's Lily?" Mary asked him, sounding concerned. "Hospital Wing," James answered simply. Suddenly a little nervous, this was Lily Evans best friend! Who knows what she'll say to him?

"Why? What did you do?" Mary whispered to him accusingly.

"She tripped on the staircase, broke her ankle. Just because I'm with her, doesn't mean I have something to do with it," James retorted as he defended himself, a little irritated.

"Oh… Sorry," Mary said, slightly taken aback. James smiled at her; Mary was really a nice girl. Whenever Lily did something over the line to him, she would make Lily apologize to him, even if it's against her will.

James and Mary quickly turned their attention to Professor Flitwick, who was still talking about the N.E.. James was looking at Professor Flitwick but his mind was elsewhere. It was in that incident a while ago. He never expected that to happen. It was not really a romantic moment due to Lily's protests. He just considered it as a lucky moment. He felt his lips curve into an involuntary smile.

"You're not losing hope, you know," Mary's quiet voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts. James looked at her questioningly, not knowing what she meant.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't give up, you still have a chance," Mary said knowingly. "Oh," was all he could say. He suddenly felt a surge of gratitude towards Mary.

"How do you know?"

Mary sighed. "She doesn't hate you entirely, since she's not friends with Snape anymore, she can sympathize with the hatred you feel towards Snape, all you have to do is stop doing the things she hates the most, like ruffling your hair."

James let out a quiet, exasperated sigh. "Ruffling my hair is not showing off, it's just a habit," he explained. He doesn't know why people, well Lily and her friend, kept on considering ruffling his hair as showing off, anyway, it was still messy without him ruffling it, it was just natural.

"Oh, sorry about that… I promise I'll tell Lily that, well, stop doing the other things, like that snitch you kept on playing with, or hexing people." Mary said. That's two of them now who gave him that advice, Remus and Mary, at first he didn't want to believe it and he thought that Remus was playing a joke on him but now it came straight from Lily's best friend, how could he not believe that? Mary was nicer than he thought, after all.

"Thanks," James thanked her gratefully, with a smile on his face. It was a pleasant thought; Lily's best friend was actually helping him out. "No problem, just don't tell Lily that we had this conversation," Mary said kindly as she turned her attention back to Professor Flitwick.

James returned to daydreaming about what would happen to his and Lily's relationship if he hadn't been so arrogant. If he wasn't like that at all, his relationship with Lily will surely be great, not like this. Maybe if he didn't think high of himself, maybe he and Lily would be going out already by their fifth year, at least. He tried to remember what he did during the past six years that could've made him this arrogant, bullying, git.

He liked to ruffle his hair purposely whenever Lily's around or whenever there's a lot of people around him when he noticed that he looked good after flying. Whenever she's around he'll hex the first person he'll see, usually he sees Snape, Lily's best friend, well, ex- best friend, actually. _"Bloody Hell, I really am arrogant git,"_ he thought to himself, shaking his head. He cursed himself in his mind.

The thought of how his attitude made the girl of his dreams walk away from him sent an uncomfortable turn in his stomach.

From then on, he promised to himself that he will change, for his and his relationship with Lily Evans' sake.

*** * ***

**So, chapter two, sorry for the delay. I went to an outing today, so I only have now to finish it and yesterday, the electricity went off because of a strong rain so I never had time to finish. REVIEWS PLEASE! I know it's not a good chapter, but tell me what you think! :)) **


	3. Bad News

**I own nothing!**

**Chapter three, have any of you guessed what kind of illness James' parents got? Well, you'll see it here. **

**Once again, please tell me what you think, constructive criticisms are appreciated and please review so I could know if you like where the story is going.**

**Thanks! Keep on reading!**

**-imsonotagirl93 **

*** * ***

**Chapter 3: Bad News**

It was four days after Lily's accident and Mary's advice. James noticed that whenever he ruffled his hair whenever Lily's around, he would glare at it for a split second, and then look down as if she remembered something and then turn away. It was not how James expected Lily to react about it but at least he knew she didn't hate it anymore, which was a start.

He was really thankful to Mary. Sometimes, he would see the two girls bickering and arguing heatedly about something and then Mary will gesture towards him and then Lily would glare at him for second before standing up and stomp her way out of the Great Hall. He didn't really expect Mary to help him out like this, like convincing Lily that he was changing; he thought she was only helping him out in the hair problem.

That morning, during breakfast, James could see the two friends bickering again, he starting to get slightly worried that this helping him out thing with ruin their friendship, but judging by how much they talked during classes when they were together (when there are no teachers) and when they are at the common room, their friendship is totally fine, they only argue when Mary brings up a subject that Lily clearly hates,

Him.

The two girls were arguing heatedly, ignoring the curious people around them. Lily's eyes were wide and Mary was gesturing towards him. Lily shook her head, glared for a second at James and walked out of the Great Hall, leaving Mary grimacing at the spot where she had been. When Mary noticed James looking at her worriedly, Mary threw him an apologetic smile before standing up and following Lily out of the Great Hall.

"How did you and Mary Macdonald became suddenly close?" Sirius asked James, noticing him still staring at the spot where the two girls had been. James shrugged, he didn't want Sirius to know about Mary helping him out with Lily, he'll just think that he's a pathetic bloke, who keeps on hoping something impossible would happen.

"Are you two going out? I thought you can't give up on Evans? And then you go and ask her best friend out?" Sirius complained. James was a bit shocked, actually. Sirius was never like this… full of tact.

"We are not going out, she just a friend who's helping me with a… certain problem. Anyway, where did all these tact came from?" James answered him, slightly taken aback with Sirius' sudden tactfulness.

"And what kind of problem is that?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows rising. James didn't answer but continued on eating, he could feel his face heating up.

He heard Remus snort quietly. James looked up, "What?" he asked but Remus ignored him, instead, Remus turned to Sirius and said, "Mary's helping James out with Lily," he stated as though it was a throwaway comment.

"How did you-?" James started to say but Sirius cut him off saying,

"What? Getting help from a girl? I know your smart and good at Quidditch and all, mate but I never knew you were that dumb with girls!" See? That's exactly why he didn't want to tell Sirius about.

"Well, what's wrong with that?" James argued.

"Well, what's wrong is, _she's a girl! _That's what's wrong," Sirius explained, returning to his same tactless self, "You're not supposed to ask for help with a girl for a girl!" Sirius continued.

"Why not?"

"Because it sounds freaky…. For me, anyway," Sirius said, as he took a bite of sausage.

"How did you know?" James asked Remus again, choosing to not say anything back to Sirius; he knows perfectly well that his conversation with him will not lead to anything.

"Well, Mary told me," Remus said, he tried to say it indifferently but the faint tinge of pink on his cheeks gave the whole charade away. James felt a grin spread across his face, despite himself. Remus never wanted to date or fancy anybody, he said it was too dangerous and nobody deserved someone like him.

"Do you like her?" Peter asked, finally looking up from his food.

Remus shook his head, looking grave, "I can't."

"Well, why not?" Sirius asked.

"I don't want to hurt my self or her. I don't want to be pushed away because of this…. abnormality," Remus said, talking to his plate, which he played with, not bothering to eat it anymore. They could tell that he likes her, but couldn't take the risk.

"Just because you have that '_furry little problem'_, doesn't mean the people would hate you. I'm sure they'll do, we did," James said. Remus was really beating himself up when it comes to his lycanthropy.

"Everybody's not like you guys, if you accepted who I am, it doesn't mean that everyone will," Remus said, looking disgruntled as he strode out of the Great Hall, Peter on his heel. James shook his head but didn't argue with Remus. He knew the effects girls can do to boys, he was a living proof.

Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Slytherins, pointing at him, whispering to each other, smirking and sneering. Then, he felt an odd sensation, like there was something wrong but didn't know what. He glanced at them, sure enough, they were sneering at him when he looked, enjoying some kind of inside joke.

"Don't mind those gits," Sirius said, noticing the Slytherins too. Like James, he never really liked the Slytherins, especially because of his brother, Regulus Black, which his parents favored more, well, ex-brother and ex-parents, really, since Sirius never considered them as a family anymore, and his parents already disowned him by blasting him off of their family tree when he ran away, but Sirius had no objections there.

But even with Sirius' comforting words, well, not really comforting but it was made for comfort, he couldn't shrug off the feeling that there was something bad happening or something bad already happened, involving him. They headed to the Transfiguration classroom. When they entered, it was to find Professor McGonagall already inside the classroom, behind her desk as the whole classes settled in their seats.

James and Sirius settled themselves in the seats just behind Lily Evans, slightly disappointed, for the seat beside her was already taken. Transfiguration passed by in a daze, with James staring at Lily's red hair, daydreaming, to distract himself from that feeling that something was wrong, occasionally interrupted by McGonagall by calling his attention when his expression gets too dreamy.

Then he and Lily were off to Charms. James walked beside her, choosing to keep quiet because he didn't want to say anything that would get Lily's temper high, while Lily chose to completely ignore him. When they entered, Mary was already there, seating in the back. Lily quickly sat beside her friend while James sat in front of them. With nothing to distract himself, the nagging feeling that something horribly wrong was happening.

Then he remembered what Snape had said to him during first day of classes, hinting that something was wrong with his mum. James blanched. The Slytherins whispering at him, Snape's comment about his mum, it could mean that his dad was involved also; does it mean that they were both in danger? James winced at though. But surely, if his parents were in danger they would owl him or at least someone would tell him, but then he remembered that his parents wouldn't tell him anything that would cause him to worry, they would even keep their deaths as a secret from him and they would keep it as long as they can, if possible. James winced once again. Could his parents possibly be dead? Surely, someone from the Ministry or St. Mungo's would tell him, right-?

"Mr. Potter, are you alright? You seem quite pale. Do you want to go to the Hospital Wing?" Flitwick said in his squeaky little voice, interrupting James' thoughts.

"Typical, Potter, I bet he just wanted to go to the Hospital Wing- Ow!" she exclaimed as if someone hit her very hard.

"I'm f-f-fine, Professor," James stuttered, still pale. He could feel Lily's confused stare. When the class ended, James darted out of the classroom, still pale at the thought of his parents being in danger.

As he made his way to Gryffindor Tower for free period before Lunch, he was surprised to see Lily beside him. James looked ahead as their arms bumped with each other, sending that kind of electrical charge through his body; he was fighting the urge to put his arms around her. Suddenly, all his worries about his parents' safety were gone.

"Potter, I'm sorry a while ago at Charms. I thought you were actually sneaking out," Lily said, looking straight ahead too.

"Yeah, sure, it's fine,"

"Okay." Lily said as she quickened her pace, leaving James, still in a slow pace. Even though he still had lots of catching up to do, like assignments that he leaved out for the past four days that was due tomorrow, still, he kept his slow pace. When he finally reached the Gryffindor common room, it was to find a few seventh years, one was them was Lily and miraculously enough, Sirius, writing away in their parchment and there was a few sixth years too.

Deciding that he has nothing to do but to write his essays, they were due to tomorrow, after all, so he sat down beside Sirius and pulled out his books, parchment, quill and ink bottle. He began to start his essay about Transfiguration. At least by doing this, even though it's incredibly boring, he could get his mind off of things.

When it was finally time for lunch, he and Sirius went down to the Great Hall, sitting with Remus and Peter. He quickly ate once the food appeared. Lily and her friend, Mary was not far from them, only a few seats beside them. Suddenly an unfamiliar owl flew through the Great Hall, landing in front of him. He quickly untied the letter attached to it. For some reason, the owl was looking grave, very grave. This made James a feeling that whatever it was inside that envelope was not good news. He fumbled with the envelope, his hands shaking but he hardly knew why.

Once he had released the envelope from the owl, the owl quickly flew away. James realized that it was from St. Mungo's. James gulped, why would St. Mungo's write to him? Unless…. No, that can't be, it just can't be.

The whole students in the Great Hall were looking curiously at him, he couldn't help to notice that the Slytherins were smirking and sneering at him. They all waited for James to open the envelope, wondering who could've sent him a letter at this time, because they usually receive their letters at morning, during breakfast.

James opened the letter, still with fumbling hands; his friends were now looking at him worriedly.

_Dear Mr. James Potter,_

_We are sorry to tell you that Mr. Charlus and Ms. Dorea Potter died of dragonpox early this morning. _

_We tried to tell you about their illness, but they said that they would go through this challenge but unfortunately, they didn't. They said that we should keep it as a secret but we thought we couldn't leave it as a secret anymore._

_Our condolence,_

_St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries_

James blanched. It was as though the world had ended. He blinked and shook his head and looked at the letter again as if expecting it to change… but it didn't. He felt like every piece of him was falling apart. His parents…. His parents were gone, his only family was gone. He loved his parents so much, he was their only child. It felt like he swallowed two rogue bludgers, wrestling their way through his body.

"James, mate, are you alright?" Sirius said in a concerned voice. He felt his fingers grow numb until the letter slipped away from them. Sirius quickly caught the letter and James buried his face in his hands. It was like the bludgers made their way through his throat, choking him. He suddenly felt something wet fall through his face and realized that hot wet tears spilled from his eyes.

"J- James?" Sirius asked and his voice broke. Judging by the tone of his voice, he too, already read the bad news. James knew that his parents were as close as a parent to him after he ran away. He hastily wiped the tears away and without another word or glance at anybody, he strode out of the Great Hall. As he made his way to the doors, he can see people, their mouths hanging open, and then he realized that there were tears in his eyes, he hastily wiped them away. He could see Lily, her mouth hanging open, a look of concern on her face that she never gave James, and her friend, Mary, was looking worriedly at him.

He didn't stop though; he just walked, occasionally wiping the tears away that were continuously falling. When he finally made his way out of the Great Hall, he didn't went to the Gryffindor Tower, instead, he went to the prefects bathroom, so no one could find him. He wanted to be alone; he didn't even want his friends' company right now.

He decided to take a bath, a long, long, very quiet bath, were no one can disrupt him, he just needs a moment by himself, to get this over with. He quickly stripped off his clothing, conjuring clean robes as he went inside the enormous bath tub and sank inside it.

His dad once said that, if ever they died, he needs to be strong, that something like this would happen and he can't depend on his parents for too long, that he needs to move on when that happens. At first, James wouldn't believe him, believing that his parents were strong and that they would never leave him. His father said to not beat himself up when that happens, and now that _it _already happened, it's hard not to beat himself up. It's really stupid really, his parents not telling him anything, he's already of age, he's already a grown-up, but for them, he's still that little boy, they only have. But surely, if his parents suddenly pop out of thin air, they will probably scold him for feeling like this right? But it's hard not too, even if his dad or mum said that to move on, he can't just let himself forget them, right? They're his parents for Merlin's sake, how could he forget them?

"But you don't have to forget them, you'll just move on, you'll remember them always," He said to himself aloud.

"Now, this is just stupid, talking to myself…. I must be going mad!" James said to himself once again in a choked voice as he closed his eyes.

He just sat inside the bath tub, he didn't even know how long he stayed there, but he was pretty sure that he missed his classes. When the water became chilly, he finally summoned a towel, and dried off and quickly put his clothes on. He had no plan of returning to nay of his classes; maybe he'll just go and lock himself inside his dormitory.

When he arrived in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, he immediately said the password in a dead voice, "Tapeworm,"

The Fat Lady gave him a reproachful look, "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" she asked, refusing to open the portrait hole.

"Just let me inside, please?" James said, in the same dead voice.

"No, you're supposed-!" The Fat Lady started but James cut her off,

"Just open the _bloody_ portrait hole!" James said loudly, beginning to lose his nerves. For a moment the Fat Lady looked taken aback but then she glared at him, but opened the portrait hole anyway.

He immediately set off to his dormitory, and sank on his bed. _"Colloportus!" _He said, pointing his wand at the door. He knew it can still be unlocked by magic but his friends knew better than enter their dormitory when he's like this. Sirius probably told them about the news already.

He just lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He tried to close his eyes and open them again to see if this was all a dream but unfortunately, it's not. The hours passed and still, James stayed where he was, staring at one thing without really seeing it.

It must be after classes, due to the darkening sky, when he heard a soft knock on the door and then Sirius' voice, "James? Are you alright? You can't beat yourself up like this you know…." Sirius voice trailed off as he realized that he was not going to get an answer from James.

After a few hours another soft knock came but no voice followed, James, thinking that it was his friends, wanting to go to bed, whispered, _"Alohomara," _But it wasn't Sirius or Remus or Peter who was standing in the doorway. To his surprise, it was Lily Evans who was standing in the doorway. But this time, the sight of her didn't took his pain away. James smiled at her, not a true smile, just a smile to cover up how miserable he was feeling.

Something flickered in Lily's face but before James could know what it is, she looked down.

"What do you want, Evans?" James said in that same dead tone.

"I was just wondering if you can do patrols tonight…. But I guess you can't so… I think I'll do them alone," Lily answered but not in the tone she always used, this time, her tone was different but James couldn't identify what it is.

Before he can say anything, Lily walked away and closed the door behind her. James slumped back into his bed. Now he was really stupid. He had a chance to be with the girl he fancied but he didn't accept it, well, he didn't deny it either but still, he didn't do anything.

His thoughts were all mixed up, with Lily, his parents, he was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice his friends come in.

"I can't believe you would let Lily Evans come in while you wouldn't let me," Sirius said in a falsely hurt voice, trying to cheer James up. James smiled that same fake smile, his parents were right; he really shouldn't beat himself up, but through his smile, every pain he felt was there, under that fake smile. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw Sirius' expression change into a worried one.

"James, are you sure you're alright?" Remus asked, sounding concerned, eyeing him.

"Yeah… yeah, I am, just need to… move on," James asked in a choked voice as he closed his eyes.

"You don't really have to let go, you know, you'll just need to accept things. Things happen for a reason," Remus said, repeating what he said to himself a while ago as he sank into his bed, looking tired, it was after all near the full moon and he has things to accomplish before his transformation.

"Yeah, thanks…." James said. The other boys were already in bed, Peter, who stayed quiet throughout the small conversation, was already fast asleep and Sirius was looking at the James worriedly, but James didn't bother why he was looking at him like that, he threw another fake smile to Sirius as he removed his glasses, putting it on the bedside table, and closed his eyes.

He tried very hard not to dream about his parents and to dream about Lily, like he usually does. His dreams were confusing and hazy. He would dream about Lily then his parents would pop in and out. During those times, he would wake up in the middle of the night, wishing for his parents to come back.

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**So, chapter three, it's kinda boring, I apologize for that, but I need something to get them together, and sorry for the letter, I'm not used to being formal.**

**Once again, Reviews please! And tell me what you think. ;)**


	4. Full Moon, Noticing and Note Passing

**I own nothing!**

**So here's chapter 4, Reviews please! And tell me what you think; constructive criticisms are very much appreciated!**

**-imsonotagirl93**

*** * ***

**Chapter 4: Noticing**

It's been three days since his parents' death. He was actually pulled out from class once, to discuss his parents' will. James was a bit shocked about this, he didn't know that his parents had a will, but the Minister said that they already arranged their will a week before they died, as if they already know that they're going to be dead.

James was looking out the window, it was late at night and the full moon was hidden behind the thick clouds. Remus was already down in the Hospital Wing, waiting for Madam Pomfrey to escort him to the Whomping Willow.

James looked at his bedside table and grabbed the pictures of his parents. He sighed, it was so hard, and it was like letting go of your childhood, now that they're gone. He can't depend on them anymore; he can't go strutting around acting like a child because he had parents. No, he can't do that anymore, he needs to act mature because he was all alone now; he has no parents to look after him. The thought went through him like a sharp knife. Before, there were three Potters left in the Wizarding World, know, he's all alone. James sighed sadly at the thought of living alone in their manor.

"Prongs, come on, I can see Pomfrey making her way back to the castle," Sirius said, looking at the Marauder's Map. James looked at the sky again, the clouds were still obscuring the moon from view, but it looks like the moon will be shown soon.

James grabbed his Invisibility Cloak from his trunk, "Come on," James said as Peter and Sirius joined him out of the door. They made their way down the staircase quietly, he could feel Sirius' furtive glances at him but he shrugged it off. His friends have been fussing over his behavior, asking him if he's alright often times. James would always tell them that his alright, accompanied by his fake smile, not even Sirius can make his smile like he did before, he didn't know why.

The common room was empty; they didn't know that someone was sitting in the corner until a stern voice called their attention, "Where do you think you're going?" Lily Evans' voice interrupted them as they were about to step out of the portrait hole.

"Nowhere," James said with that smile that doesn't seem like his own as he winked at her.

"Sleep tight, Evans!" Sirius said as Peter waved goodbye at Lily. Before they went out, James caught sight of Lily's expression, and to his surprise, Lily's face wasn't red with anger nor was she shaking with anger, like she usually does, instead there was a confused expression in her face as she looked at him. Once they were out James stopped in his tracks. Why would Evans look at him like that? He didn't change that much, he just acted like a mature kid but still, he played jokes and laughed with Sirius, Peter and Remus, but not really that genuine, but still, he laughed. It was impossible for her to notice the difference between his true smile and fake one, for Merlin's sake, Sirius can't even notice the difference, at least that's what it looks like.

"I don't know how Evans does that to you," Sirius said as he pulled James by the elbow to continue walking.

"Do what to me?" James asked, his mind still on Lily's confused expression.

"Keep you dazed or something, I mean, she makes you look like you're hopeless or something, like you're lost in some world, I never experienced being like that with a girl. Wow, are you that bad with girls?" Sirius said with a smug look in his face. He never took the matter of girls serious, but still, he's his best mate, and you can't have a serious Sirius, ever.

"Shut up, that's just because you don't like half of the girls you snog," James said as they walked out of the front doors.

"Or all of them," Peter muttered loud enough for only James could hear as they both sniggered.

The three boys made their way towards the Whomping Willow hurriedly, the clouds that were obscuring the moon from view were thinning.

Once they got as near as possible the Whomping Willow, Peter quickly changed into a rat to prod the knot on the tree's trunk that would make the tree immobile. Once the violent tree became still, James and Sirius quickly made their way down from the gap in the roots, Wormtail waited for them to vanish inside the tunnel before going in himself.

Once they reached the Shrieking Shack they saw Remus sitting on one of the battered couch inside the shack, he was looking wearily out of the window. "Hey Moony," James said, giving his friend a small wave.

Remus smiled back wearily as he said, "I think you should transform, it's nearly time," as he gestured towards the window, where they could see the full moon, the thin mist of clouds were ebbing away. James and Sirius gave a small "Oh," and quickly transformed into Prongs and Padfoot.

Just as they were about to complete their transformation, they heard Remus struggling as he turned into his werewolf self. Once the transformation was finished, Prongs, together with Padfoot and Wormtail looked at their friend suffering. James thought that it seemed kind of unfair for Moony to suffer like this when he transformed when the three of them didn't, transforming once every month was normal for them now.

They kept their distance as soon as Moony was done transforming. He was barring his teeth at them, but they new better than to approach him now, he needs to calm down first before getting close to him. After several minutes of waiting for Moony to recognize that they were the same people or animals that accompanied him every month for almost two years, he finally recognized them and let out a cry that sort of sounds like a welcoming sound.

Padfoot quickly made his way towards Moony as Wormtail quickly scurried over. Prongs was the last one to join them, he hadn't realized that Moony was already under control until Padfoot let out a bark that sounded more like laughter.

His mind was elsewhere, it was still on Lily's confused expression. This was the first time that she hadn't told him off for going out of the common room late at night, usually, she would yell at them as they made their way towards the portrait hole. He couldn't understand the sudden changes. Maybe Mary told her, but James didn't talk about his parents with her, he didn't even talk about his parents with his friends, he kept it to himself, he kept the promise that he would act mature to himself too.

But then, there was more than confusion in Lily's eyes a while ago, but James couldn't get his finger on it, there was truly something more than confusion in her emerald eyes-

A playful nudge disrupted his train of thought as he heard Padfoot barking at him and, if possible, he looks like he was raising his eyebrow. Prongs shook his head and tried, if it's possible for a stag, to grin.

Padfoot barked again as he jerked his head towards the exit of the Shrieking Shack, which leads to Hogsmeade, but before they went outside Padfoot let out a howl, faking a cry of pain. They did this every month, trying to scare the villagers. The Marauders thought that the belief of the villagers that this shack is haunted was quite funny, because it wasn't really haunted and the cries they heard every night were them. Prongs shook his head as the Marauders made their way towards the village of Hogsmeade. The streets were dark and there weren't any shop that was open. The four still looked around though, making sure that no one was watching the three animals and the werewolf. They couldn't imagine how would the people react if they saw a werewolf, accompanied by three animals like it was just normal for them, well, for the three at least, but for the villagers, it's not. Prongs couldn't imagine Dumbledore's reaction when he found out about this either.

When it was sure that the coast was clear, the four made their way towards a secluded place in Hogsmeade. They usually go there during these times in the month. Padfoot and Moony were howling playfully as Wormtail twittered loudly. Prongs stayed quiet though, not joining their noise. He thought that this would distract him but he was wrong. He thought that tonight he will forget about all of his problems, and he was willing too, even if for a few hours. He was looking up at the sky, but he didn't know how long until Padfoot collided with him again, playfully.

This time Prongs just decided to just go with them, grateful that he can finally forget his problem for a few hours, but he knows that when he got back to the castle, the sad memory will come flooding into his mind.

When almost two hours passed, with the four just goofing around, sometimes trying to scare villagers by making sounds outside their house, unfortunately, Moony began to lose control as the full moon became more clearer and clearer through the clouds. Padfoot and Prongs tried to control him but Moony just collided with them, painfully of course. _That's going to leave a mark,_ Prongs thought to himself as they let Moony run through the Forbidden Forest.

The three, looking around again, quickly changed into their human forms, since there's no point in staying as animals anymore. Once the transformation was done, James pulled his Invisibility Cloak from his pocket as he put it on him, Peter, and Sirius. The cloak was barely covering their feet, it was getting harder to three people or four in the cloak these days, but they didn't mind, it was very dark, anyway, no one will notice.

They made their way towards the Shrieking Shack. Once they were about to go outside through the root gaps in the Whomping Willow, Sirius pulled out the Marauder's Map, muttered "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," as he tapped the parchment with his wand.

Soon enough, ink began to spread towards the parchment, forming the map of Hogwarts. Sirius checked if there was anyone watching them, but there was no one, all the Professors and students were either in their living quarters or in their desks. Sirius levitated a twig to prod the knot on the trunk to immobilize the violent tree; James didn't know why they have to use Wormtail to immobilize the tree when they could always levitate a twig to stop it. _Maybe it just adds to the thrill,_ James thought to himself.

They walked through the dark school grounds, James' eyes were stuck at one particular dot in the map as he walked. Lily Evans' dot was still inside the common room. James sighed internally, amused. Honestly, he was actually amazed on how can that girl stand hours and hours of studying.

They made their way towards the castle; fortunately, they didn't bump into anyone throughout their way towards Gryffindor Tower. Once they entered through the portrait hole, James was expecting to see Lily, scratching away on her parchment with her quill madly. But to his surprise, he saw Lily, her head resting on one of her books, pieces of parchment were scattered around the table and she held her quill loosely in her hand.

James' heart suddenly began to beat faster and faster and the feeling of admiration began to fill his heart. He knew he must look pathetic, standing there, gaping at the girl who he was asking out for at least four years now and received the same answer:

NO.

Sirius shook his head and patted James on the shoulder as he led Peter to their dormitory. James made his way towards Lily, intending to wake her up but when he got near her his breath was caught in his chest.

She looked peaceful in her sleep; you wouldn't be able to tell that she looks so tired like she does when she's awake. James reached out to her, to brush her flaming red hair from her face. As soon as his fingers made contact with Lily's soft face, some kind of electrical charge went through his body, from his fingers towards his arm, and he quickly pulled away. That always happens whenever he touches Lily. Instead, he contented to stare at her face.

He didn't know how long he stood there just staring at her but when he finally came to his senses, he gave Lily's shoulder a small shake before whispering, "Lily," to wake her up. But Lily just lifted her head and moved it so she was facing the other side of the room.

James walked to the other side so he could face her and tried to wake her up again. Still, he received no answer. James sighed as he tucked Lily's red hair behind her ears, ignoring the weird kind of electrical shock that went through him.

He leaned closer so that his mouth was in front of Lily's ear before saying,_ "Lily Evans! Wake up!" _in a rather loud voice.

Lily jumped out from her seat, sending pieces of parchments and a bottle of ink towards the floor. He looked at her shocked expression, amused as he smiled at her, not his usual smile but still, he smiled at her. Lily glared at him and quickly picked up the pieces of parchment and the ink bottle, which is, fortunately, safely closed. But James can feel something else through her green eyes but he doesn't know what it is.

"I don't see why you have to do that, Potter," Lily said as she put all of her things inside her bag.

"And I don't see why you don't take a break," James said to her, concerned, the same fake smile plastered to his face.

"Because, Potter, I, unlike you, care for my education," Lily said coldly, though James could still sense that something was hidden through her cold voice. James smiled sheepishly with another of his fake smile at her which, to his surprise, made her look at him with the same confused expression she wore a while ago. Lily just looked at him confusedly for a moment and James looked back, straight into Lily's eyes and visions of him and Lily started to fill his mind, making him oblivious to his surroundings.

"You seem different," Lily finally said, breaking James' day dream about him and Lily quite alone.

"What do you mean different? _Good_ different? Or _Bad _Different?" James asked, confused.

"I don't know…" Lily said, looking away, "Well, have a nice night then, Potter," she added shaking her head when she realized that she didn't actually insult James like she usually does. Lily quickly made her way towards the dormitory leaving James behind in confusion.

What did Lily mean about _different_? Surely he didn't change something in his appearance, did he? She couldn't see through those smiles, could she? Surely, she didn't know about his parents, right? Because he can see no one from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw whispering things and pointing at him. The only house that does that is the Slytherins, and now that he thought of it, he remembered Snape bragging about his mum during the first week of class. James realized with a jolt that his parents' illness was what Snape was talking about.

The same sinking feeling went through his body.

_Stop it! You knew that they would want you to feel happy right now, right? Get a grip of yourself! _James scolded himself because he knew that what he was telling was right; his parents didn't want James breaking apart like this.

He felt something hot and wet trickle down his cheek and he realized that a tear fell from his eyes. James quickly wiped them away, telling himself that his parents wouldn't want this attitude, and fortunately that made him feel a little better. He knew that his parents wanted him to be brave no matter what and to stand up to anyone, even if it's your best mate, if you know that they are wrong.

He just actually stood there until he spotted Lily's book, _Hogwarts, a History_. He picked it up to make sure it was hers and opened it. Just as he opened the book he caught sight of a piece of parchment, falling from the book. James quickly closed the book and stooped down to grab the parchment.

The parchment was folded so James unfolded it, a curiosity taking over him as he tossed the book towards the nearest armchair.

He saw Lily's familiar handwriting and a handwriting which he assumed as Mary's inside the parchment. James eyes actually widened in surprise, he never thought that Lily Evans could pass notes during classes!

James started to read it, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

_So, Lily, have you thought about it? :D_

A first handwriting which James didn't recognize and assumed to belong to Mary, since the two were best friends.

_No, Mary, and I never will, how could you possibly think that James Potter is changing? He's an immature git! All of them! Well, except for Remus, but still! Bloody Hell! Are you out of your mind? _

He saw Lily's handwriting at the bottom of Mary's. Just by looking at it, James could tell that Lily doesn't want to talk about it, judging by her handwriting, looking hurried and a bit messy than usual. He sighed, she always thinks that Remus was the normal and mature one, but she doesn't know that he's the one planning the pranks that Sirius thinks of.

_No, I am not out of my mind, why won't you just admit it Lily? You fancy James Potter, you just can't realize it yet because you're too busy convincing yourself that you don't like him, when deep inside, you do!_

This brought a genuine smile to James' lips; he felt another surge of gratitude to Mary. She _was _helping him out.

_What part of "I hate James Potter!" and "I'd rather go with the Giant Squid!" don't you understand?_

James shook his head, still smiling. He loves that line of Lily's, _"I'd rather go with the Giant Squid,"_ she's been saying that to him since fifth year.

_Whatever you say Lily, but when you realize that you like James Potter and it's too late, don't blame me. :)_

The note ended. "Wow," James said, he didn't know that Mary was still helping him since they didn't talk anymore because of his parents. With a smile on his face, he slipped the piece of parchment inside his pocket and grabbed Lily's book. Maybe he could give it to her tomorrow and maybe he could ask her out. He's not doing that for a while now.

James headed towards the staircase that leads to his dormitory, still grinning madly. Once he entered the dormitory, he found Sirius and Peter, already in their pajamas, already in bed. James grinned at them and waved, he really was in high spirits. As he put on his pajamas, rather enthusiastically, Sirius raised his eyebrows,

"If you only had that enthusiasm a while ago," Sirius said.

"What took you so long, anyway?" Peter asked. James just shrugged it off and climbed into his bed.

"What were you doing in the common room?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows still rising.

"I woke Lily up and I read something," James said as placed Lily's book on his bedside table and closed the hangings on his bed. He removed his glasses and closed his eyes.

"_Whoa?!_ Is that _Hogwarts, a History_? You're reading that?" Sirius asked incredulously. James just chuckled softly, ignoring Sirius.

In no time at all, he finally fell asleep, his dreams containing Lily and Lily alone and what would happen if she realized that she likes James Potter.

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**Yeah, yeah, lame ending. Sorry if I didn't update sooner, I was caught up in reading a wonderful fanfic called "A Darkness Within" and it's sequel "A Part of Me" **

**So, what do you think? Boring? Sorry for the lack of conversations here, since its full moon, I don't know how they'll communicate. REVIEWS PLEASE! I'll really appreciate it! :) **


	5. Patrols and Revelations

**Pfft. Do you honestly think that I own Harry Potter? Duh?! Of course, I don't! ;)  
**

**Chapters 5, so, tell me what you think! And reviews please, I accept constructive criticisms! (Yeah, yeah, I say this every time I start a chapter)**

**-imsonotagirl93**

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**Chapter 5: Patrols, Revelations and Lost Books**

The blinding light from the window and his best friend's bark-like laughter woke James up.

"I can't believe you'll stoop that low to get a girl, Prongs, I mean stealing her book? Come on, I know you can do something better than that!" Sirius was saying and then he heard his bark-like laughter again. James groped around for his glasses. Once he found them and put them on, he looked around the room. Peter was laughing along with Sirius.

"I didn't steal it from her Padfoot," James muttered as he sat up.

"Yeah, you just decided to get it from her while she's not looking," Sirius said as the two laughed. James rolled his eyes; Sirius has a habit of laughing about the corniest of jokes.

"No, she left it in the common room," James said as he changed into his robes, his two friends already in their robes, "And I'll thank _you,_" he said to Peter, grabbing the book from his hand, "to give this back to me."

"How's Moony?" James asked, concerned as he sat on his bed, trying to get a particular piece of parchment that he put under his pillow inconspicuously.

Sirius sighed. "He's fine, we went there a while ago," Sirius said.

"What? Why didn't you wake me?" James protested as he slipped the piece of parchment in the pockets of his robes. Knowing what was inside that parchment made his mood lighten a bit, though he still had to endure the pain of another day, pretending that he's okay.

"You were to busy dreaming about Evans," Sirius said as the three boys walked out of their dormitory, through the staircase that leads to the common room.

"Hey! How do you know about that?" James said, thinking that their dormitory is in full need of privacy.

"You actually kept on muttering, 'Lily, Lily' over and over again, it gets annoying, really - Oh! And you mentioned something about 'mum' and 'dad' – Oh! Sorry," Peter ended in a small voice as Sirius nudged him painfully. "Oh," James said embarrassed, his cheeks turning pink, he didn't know that he talks in his sleep and he talks about Lily Evans and his parents, he felt that sinking feeling again at the thought of his parents. Moving on was harder than he thought, now that what he loves the most were already gone.

Once there, they saw Lily Evans, looking frantically for something, "Where is it? _Mary! _Would you try and help me here?" she was saying as she threw the pillows from the couch everywhere.

Mary was chuckling lightly, her hand covering her mouth, muffling the sound of her laughter and was making no attempt of helping Lily.

"Ah, Evans! Always blows up in unexpected ways," James said smiling, though he hardly knew if it was genuine or not.

"What-?" Lily said, rounding on him as he gave a small wave. Something flickered in her face before she fixed it into a glare, "If you don't have anything better to say, Potter, excuse me because I have to find my book- _and I'm having so much progress here because my best friend is helping me!"_ With that, Mary proceeded on helping her while trying to stifle her laughter, along with the other three Marauders. Ah, Lily Evans' temper can really be fun at times.

"Hey Lily! I think I found your book!" Sirius suddenly screamed.

"What?" Lily said, rounding on Sirius, "If you have nothing-!" Lily started to say but Sirius cut him off.

"Hey, why don't you try James hand?" Sirius supplied grinning widely. James threw a death glare at him before hiding the book he was carrying in his hand hastily.

But _too_ late.

Lily already saw the book in his hands and was already rounding on him. James mentally cursed himself for making fun of Lily's temper.

"_What? Why do you have this-?"_ Lily screamed at him, grabbing the book from his hands.

"I- I…" James started but Lily was still ranting on.

"_How did you get this? Did you look through my bag or something?"_ Lily said, finally stopping to take a deep breath, controlling her temper. James took the chance of speaking immediately.

"You left it after I woke you up last night," James said as fast as he could before Lily could interrupt.

"Fine," Lily said, "Thanks for…. Getting it," With that she turned around and strode off to the portrait hole. Mary gave James an apologetic smile before following her best friend. Once the two girls were out of the common room, James rounded on Sirius.

"Why do you have to do that?!"

"What? I'm only trying to help her find her book," Sirius said, grinning, as the three boys pushed open the portrait hole.

"Well, you should've waited for me to give it to her, you ruined the surprise!" James said, slightly disgruntled.

"So, is Moony going to be okay by tomorrow?" James said as the three sat on the Gryffindor table.

"Yeah, Madam Pomfrey said that there not much damage so he'll be back tomorrow," Sirius answered as he helped himself into scrambled eggs.

The whole day went by as boring as any other day and nothing much happened. At least James has something to look forward to tonight.

Once classes ended, he and Sirius made their way down towards the Quidditch Pitch. Talking about… well, Quidditch. He has enormous amount of homework, but really, homework is nothing to Quidditch. It's his and Sirius' last chance on winning the cup, not that they don't win it every year, he just likes the fact that they always beat Slytherin every year.

When they arrived in the changing room, it was to find the whole team already there, excitement etched on their faces. It was lucky that none of them graduated last year, it was so hard to organize trials.

Justin Wood, a tall, brown-haired sixth year, was beaming at him.

Eirene Williams, a fifth-year brunette and the most excellent chaser, second to him, of course was accompanied by Josaine Davids, another fifth year with blonde hair and she's stronger that she looks, being a beater, like Sirius.

Kathleen Knight, a girl with black hair which was usually tied into a ponytail was a very good keeper and the last and most important member on the team, besides the captain, was Roc Finn, the seeker.

For him, this was the best team. Yeah there were girls, three of them actually, one's a beater, one's a chaser and one's a keeper but actually they are stronger than they look, Josaine was even better than Sirius as a Beater.

"Now, all of you know that this is my last chance and Sirius' too, to beat Slytherin… again, but really, we mustn't soften up…." And James started off with his usual talk every year which lasted for at least an hour, with him talking about tactics. But he doesn't care; Quidditch was the most important thing to him ever, well, second to Lily Evans anyway.

Once they were out to the Quidditch Pitch James and the team flew around the Quidditch Pitch, warming up.

It was the most wonderful thing in the world, the feel of the air going through his face. Flying was a natural thing to him. Once they finished flying around the pitch they passed the quaffle to each other, still part of their warm-up.

When everyone in the team was in condition already, he passed the quaffle to the other chasers and he let the bludgers go. James watched his team for a while, it's like they know how to communicate without talking, especially the chasers and beaters.

"Oi, Roc, I'm going to let the snitch out!" James yelled and Roc grinned at him from above, once the snitch was out, James kicked off and joined the others. So far it was a very good practice. When practice ended, James quickly set off for the changing rooms with Sirius; he gave a quick pep talk before setting off to the castle.

He still has tons of homework to do and he still has patrol duties with Evans that night. James sighed tiredly; he didn't know that being a seventh-year is this tiring. If he knew that the teachers would give homework almost every day, he never would've put off all those assignments.

James and Sirius, sweaty and tired, made their way towards the Gryffindor Tower, talking about Quidditch and how dumb Slytherins are.

"So, you have patrol tonight right? …. With Evans," Sirius said, smirking.

"What?" James tried to make it sound indifferent but the light blush that crept to his cheeks as he ran his hand through his hair.

Sirius snorted. _"You _know, I'm starting to think that you're getting _really_ desperate!"

"Shut Up."

"I mean, you fancied her since we were in first year and you started asking her out when we were in third year and what do _you_ get-?"

"'_No,'_ I always get 'No' and something about the Giant Squid, but at least I know I won't get it throughout the year," James said, feeling a tiny tinge of hope. He thought that confused looks on Lily's face meant something, he doesn't know what, but it sure does mean something. And she said that he was different, he doesn't know if good or bad different, but different. That's got to be something, right?

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I thought something changed…" James said, keeping the confused expression he saw to himself, Sirius would probably think that he was just imagining stuff and that he was a pathetic, desperate bloke who's living in false hopes. To his surprise, Sirius snorted then he quickly covered his mouth, his eyes wide and he stared at the ceiling, as if he was caught doing or saying something he's not supposed to do.

"What?" James said, confused.

"Nothing, nothing…. _Pepper Imps!_" Sirius immediately said the password to the Fat Lady (the password was changed yesterday) a little too happily when he noticed that James opened his mouth to argue with him. James felt a little irritated, it was obvious that Sirius was keeping something from him, and they never kept secrets from each other. Never.

James and Sirius quickly changed from their dirty and sweaty Quidditch robes. James didn't talk to Sirius much, upset that he wouldn't tell him anything. Sirius tried to talk to him, noticing that he noticed that he was hiding something, but James just answered him with one-word answers as he did his homework before dinner.

When they went down to the Great Hall, Sirius was still asking him questions to get something more that one word out of him and by the time they entered the Great Hall Sirius finally gave up and kept quiet by his side. When they walked towards Remus and Peter to sit with them, it was to their surprise that Mary Macdonald was there, having a whispered conversation with Remus, looking half-happy half-disgruntled, her long blond hair tied up in a ponytail.

Guessing the reason why Mary was looking slightly disgruntled, James asked her as he sat beside Peter, "Hey Mary! So, has Lily calmed down yet? Where is she anyway?"

Mary grinned at him and gave him a small wave as Sirius sat beside her, "Yeah, she just calmed down, but she's freaked out throughout the day really, it's just a book. Anyway, I think you're right; she always blows up in unexpected ways. She's still doing her homework in the library. I don't even know where she gets her temper, her parents seems pretty calm to me!" Mary answered him fast; it was obvious that she wanted to continue her whispered conversation with Remus and Peter, which Sirius already joined.

James choosing to ignore them because of hunger, helped himself into his dinner. He caught the words "…it's kinda working" and "let's just wait…" and "we should tell him…." And "No, we mustn't…." from their conversation, but James tuned them out, still slightly upset about Sirius not telling him something.

When he was done for dinner, he quickly said goodbye, excusing himself to do the tons of homework that he has.

When he entered the common room, sure enough, Lily was there, scribbling away on her parchment. "Hey Evans," James greeted her as he sat in an armchair across her but all he received was a nod in response from her, she was still scribbling on parchment with speed.

James knew that he was going to have a long night and much homework to finish so he started right away. He started with Transfiguration first for it was the easiest… for him, anyway. He was done with it by the time students came piling in the common room. Remus and Sirius were still in a whispered conversation as they sat beside James, who paid no attention to what they are talking about.

By the time all the students were going to their dormitories and Sirius, Remus and Peter bid him goodbye to go to theirs, he was still not done with his homework. He cursed himself mentally for putting it off so long. He was writing his Herbology essay when someone tapped in him on the shoulder.

"Potter, we have patrols, remember?" Lily said to him.

He smiled a strained smile at her and went back on writing on his parchment. "Wait for me to finish. I don't even know why you finished so fast," James said, still writing on the parchment.

"Well, because I start with it immediately," Lily said as she crossed her arms across her chest, waiting for him impatiently. After several minutes of him, writing and Lily tapping her foot impatiently, he was finally writing the final sentence on his essay.

"Done?" Lily said as he looked over his essay, reading it all over again as Lily continued to tap her foot louder impatiently.

"There, I'm done," James said as he stuffed all his things in his bag, "Wait, I'll just put my bag in my dormitory."

Lily sighed as James dashed to the dormitories. Once he entered, he tossed his bag to his bed. "Where are you going?" his tone making it obvious that he didn't want one-word answers, but James didn't give it to him.

"Patrol," he answered simply before slamming the door shut.

When he went back to the common room, she saw Lily writing something in a scrap piece of parchment, her face confused and exasperated at the same time. "I thought you're done with you're homework?" James asked her, wondering how she can keep up with a lot of studying.

"Yeah, I'm done, this is just… nothing," Lily said, stuffing the parchment in her pockets hastily.

She stood up and the two of them pushed open the portrait hole. The corridors were dark and they have to light their wands for them to see the corridors fully.

They were silently walking through the corridors for a long time. Their arms occasionally bumping into each other and every time it does, the same electrical charge kept on running from his arm through his body, so he has to resist the urge to put his arm around her.

To his surprise, as they made their way back to the Gryffindor Tower, Lily began to speak in a stern and concerned voice. "You know…. You're not fooling everyone,"

James scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You think you're fooling everyone that you're happy…. Well, I hate to break this to you, but actually, you're not," she stated, concern hidden in her voice.

"Look, Evans, I'm tired…. I don't want to talk about it," James said, he truly doesn't want to talk about it and at the same time, he was wondering how she knew this.

"Well, I'm just telling you that you didn't lose everything… you still have your friends and I know that you know that they're not going to leave you," Lily said casually, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

For a moment, he was taken aback. He thought he and the Marauders were the only ones who knew the reason why he was so devastated that day and the Slytherins. "H-how did you know about t- that?" He managed to stutter out, his voice breaking.

Lily sighed. They were a corridor away from Gryffindor Tower and they've stopped walking. Lily looked at him before looking at the ground. "Snape told me," Lily said, "Well, I was just saying that how could you expect your friends to help you if you don't let them." And with that, she started walking again.

James just stood there for a moment, digesting what Lily just said. Then a thought came to him. He quickly jogged to keep up with her. For a girl, she really does walk fast.

"Hey, are you suggesting that we should be friends?" Hope and excitement was evident in his voice and he couldn't help but grin stupidly at her.

"I'm not suggesting anything, Potter," Lily said casually as they were nearing the portrait hole, "Pepper Imps," she said to the Fat Lady as the portrait swung open for them.

"Does that mean were friends?" James said hopefully. Lily rolled her eyes.

"I'm not saying anything," Lily said as she sat on the couch, grabbing her book to read.

"You know, I think I'll take that as a _yes_," James said as he sat across from her.

"_Fine._ But on one condition," Lily said looking up from her book, "stop irritating me," Lily continued. James knew that that meant that he should stop asking her out, but at least being her friend was one step forward, right?

"Deal," James said, grinning madly. "Well, Good night, Potter," Lily said as she stood up, heading to the staircase, grabbing her book. "'Night Evans," James said, a grin still etched on his face as he too made his way to the boy's dormitory.

He walked through the spiral staircase, dazed. He knew he actually accepted an offer where he would stop asking Lily out, not that he would stop. That wouldn't stop him, really.

Then another realization hit him as he opened the door to their dormitory, his roommates already asleep. Lily was right; he really should move on and let his friends help him. He was beating himself up. He changed into his pajamas and sank into his bed, removing his glasses.

He stared at the blurred ceiling for a while, thinking about what Lily said, waiting for sleep to conquer him.

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**Please, review? :D**


	6. Another Attempt

**I don't own anything! ;D**

**Review please people! So, do you like the story? I mean, the last chapter is so boring… (It was the shortest). Constructive Criticisms please! I would appreciate it if you tell me all the faults you see, whether it's good or bad. :D**

**Once again, review please, people, so I can know if you like where the story is going.**

**-imsonotagirl93 ;)**

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**Chapter 6: Another Attempt**

The weeks passed and soon it was October. James didn't know it was this tiring, what with Quidditch Practice almost everyday, homework everyday, head duties and full moons, this school year was the most stressing ever. Not to mention his deal with Lily, meaning that he's not supposed to irritate her by asking her out, so, he has to stay away from her more often, since when he comes close, his desire of asking her out becomes more and more pronounced.

Of course, he already talked about this with Mary and she said that it was fine and that he has better chances now, but still, he has to refrain from asking her out if he wanted Lily to trust him. James reluctantly agreed with this, because the more time he refrained from asking her, the more he gets desperate and he has to remind himself that it's for his and Lily Evans' relationship's sake.

He lay there in bed, Sirius, Remus and Peter finally asleep. The opening match for Quidditch was tomorrow against Slytherin. He never really got nervous like this, but it was his seventh and last year at Hogwarts and that makes him nervous. It was his last chance to feel the glory of winning the Quidditch Cup because frankly, he doesn't know if he'll still want to play Quidditch when he's done here.

He rolled over in his bed so he was facing the wall, waiting for sleep to conquer him.

After a few minutes, James finally succumbed into a deep sleep.

The noise of someone waking him up and shaking him woke him up. "Prongs, come on, we need to have breakfast. We have a Quidditch match, remember?" said Sirius as he shook him vigorously.

"Alright, alright, I'm up!" James said, shrugging Sirius' arm off as he rolled over. He groped around for his glasses and put them on. He blinked the sunlight out of his eyes and the room slowly came into focus.

Sirius was changing slowly and nervousness was clear in his face. Remus was reading, again, already changed and Peter sitting on his bed, already in his robes too.

James sat up and as soon as he saw his reflection on the mirror, the nervousness cam rushing towards him.

He got off his bed and changed in the same manner as Sirius, slowly. They only speeded thing up when an exasperated sigh came out form Remus. "Well, it's not like _you_ have a match today!" Sirius complained as they entered the Great Hall. The sky was clear and there was no sign of rain coming.

As they entered, applause greeted them and James and Sirius grinned but quickly dropped at as they sat with the rest of the team. All of the members of the team were just looking at their breakfast, the stress of having the match evident on their faces. James asked all the member of his team to eat but not touching his food himself.

He looked around the table to see Lily and Mary talking, Mary looked disgruntled an irritated while Lily was red in the face, which was still continuing to be red. They were bickering furiously. "I told you, Mary it's not possible!" she suddenly said loudly, loud enough for the whole Gryffindor Table to hear.

He saw Remus make his way to Mary and they began to talk, worriedly, then Sirius excused himself from behind him and joined them, giving a meaningful look to Peter, who nodded. James' brows furrowed in confusion, Remus, Sirius and Mary, sometimes with Peter have been conversing lately. James found it odd, because his three friends never mentioned anything to him about it.

James decided to shrug it off; he didn't want to worry about something else, other than Quidditch, right now. After a few minutes, Remus and Sirius returned, sitting at each of his sides and the two wrapped their arms around his shoulders.

"So, Prongs…" Sirius started as James looked at his two friends confusedly. He sent a questioning look at Peter who just grinned and shrugged.

"How are you and Lily?" Remus continued, who still had his arm around his shoulders, shaking him slightly.

James raised his eyebrows questioningly and didn't answer them; instead, he asked them a question that's been bothering him. "Why are you suddenly close to Mary? Have you three decided to hit on her? I thought Moony was the one that likes her?" James asked, slightly irritated because of his friends' attitudes.

His three friends let out a very forced laugh, especially Sirius, who wiped an invisible tear from his eyes dramatically.

"Of course we're not," Remus said, though his voice hinted that he didn't like the idea of his friends or him hitting on Mary, even though it's obvious that he likes her. James rolled his eyes, slightly offended.

"Yeah, right, you know, I think you're hiding something form me," James said, as he continued to eat his breakfast, making it sound like a throwaway statement, even though deep inside, the fact that his friends was hiding something from him and has no chances of telling him made his insides bubble.

"Of course were not- We're not hiding- We just- There's nothing- nothing," Sirius stuttered nervously, his words tumbling out of his mouth as Remus shot him a warning look, which made him quiet immediately and formed an unconvincing smile on his face.

James rolled his eyes and continued to eat his breakfast. "You didn't answer our question, Prongs," Remus said. James took his time eating his breakfast, chewing it and swallowing it slowly, very slowly in fact.

His friends waited patiently for him, the ridiculous smiles still on their faces. When he swallowed at last, he said, "We're friends… but we have a deal that I should stop asking her out if I want to be friends with her,"

"What?! Stop asking her out? You can't do that," Sirius said at once after he stopped speaking. James raised his eyebrows.

"As if that's 'gonna stop me," James said as he stood up, shrugging his friends' arm off, "Anyway, if you're done hiding stuff from _me_, I think my team should go down to the Quidditch Pitch already," he said as he saw the Slytherins standing up and called the team to go to the changing rooms already.

He ignored Sirius as he walked beside him, giving him the same one-word answers like he did when he was mad at him for not telling him something. It's just weird to know that you're best friend was hiding stuff from you.

He changed into his Quidditch robes in silence, Sirius giving up on trying talking to him changed into his robes muttering about secrets and why you can't tell them to anybody else. Once the whole team was already in their Quidditch Robes, James ranted on about the usual reminders before the match starts.

They could hear the footsteps and loud voices of the crowd as they made their way to the stands. James took a deep breath and gestured for his team to follow him to the Quidditch Pitch and they walked in single file.

The crowd cheered as they walked across the middle of the pitch. The captains shook hands- or tried to crush each others' fingers. Fourteen players soared through the air at Madam Hooch's whistle.

"Gryffindor in possession- that's James Potter with the quaffle," the crowd cheered at the mention of his name as he dodged a bludger. He grinned at the Gryffindor stand as he passed the quaffle to Justin, "He passes to Wood- who passes to Williams who passes to Potter, and he shoots aaand HE SCORES! Ten-zero to Gryffindor!" The crowd cheered and the "boo-s" of the Slytherins was drowned out.

He waved at the crowd once again as he spotted Lily Evans, beaming and cheering and waved at him. He winked at her as he dived for the quaffle but the Slytherin chaser, Renzo Martin got there first. Eirene was zooming towards Martin but he passes to Nott but drops it, because of a ferociously hit bludger by Josaine, and the quaffle was caught by James.

"That's Potter again with the quaffle, heading towards the Slytherin goal- OUCH- that's gotta hurt," Two bludgers made their way towards him, hit by Regulus Black, Sirius younger brother, and Gianne Davis, and hit him on the stomach as he dropped the quaffle.

It was the dirtiest game the Gryffindor and Slytherins had. The two Slytherin beaters kept on hitting him and the Roc Finn, the seeker while Sirius and Josaine kept on hitting anyone who isn't their teammate.

It was seventy-sixty to Gryffindor when Finn finally caught the Snitch and he was sporting a bloody nose and almost everyone in the team had injuries but was mended easily by Madam Pomfrey.

The Gryffindor common room was having was packed with cheering people, drinking butterbeers, which the Marauders sneaked out of the kitchens, some wondering where they got it. James was with his team, chatting madly about their chances of winning the cup. The euphoria of winning the match even made him forget that he was angry at his friends. He kept on shooting furtive glances at Lily, who was chatting with Mary.

He excused himself from his teammates as he made his way towards Lily. "Hey Evans," he said as he threw his arm around her shoulders, at the same time she dropped her bottle of butterbeer and shrugged James' arms off while Mary openly smirked at her, a smug look on her face.

Lily fixed up the mess with a swish of her wand. "Nice game, James," said Mary.

"Yeah, I know, I was there," James said, smiling. He heard Lily mutter, "Jerk," beside him and without thinking, he heard himself say, "So, Evans… I was wondering, would you go out with me, you know, this Hogsmeade weekend," as soon as he said it, he regretted it immediately for Lily stomped on his foot, hard, as he let out a cry of pain and the whole Gryffindor common room looked their way.

"In you dreams, Potter," Lily shouted, a faint tinge of pink creeping its way to her cheeks, causing the people in the room to snigger as James hopped on one foot, clutching his other.

"I'm looking forward for it," James muttered as Mary threw him an apologetic glance before following Lily to the girl's dormitory. He hopped his way towards the other Marauders who were shaking their heads.

He sat beside Peter and relaxed his foot on top of the armchair that was across from him.

"You tried asking her out?" Remus asked.

James nodded, causing Peter and Sirius to snigger. "Let me guess," Sirius said in a mock casual voice, "It didn't go well?" said Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You think?" said James, making a mental note saying that he shouldn't ask Lily Evans out when she's wearing high-heeled shoes. That night, when he retreated to bed, his mind was preoccupied, thinking of ways to ask Lily Evans out without being stomped on the foot with a high-heeled shoe.

After hours of poring over ideas in his head, an idea finally came to him. At least in this one, he wouldn't be stomped on the foot. With this _clever_ plan on his head, he waited for sleep to take over him.

The next day, James woke up early, his friends still sleeping. Sirius was lying on his back, his mouth wide open. Peter was curled up on his bed, snoring very loudly that James wondered how he could sleep with him in the room for seven years and Remus was lying on his back, a book resting on his chest.

James changed from his pajamas quietly and made his way down the spiral staircase that leads to the common room. He didn't know why he's not waiting for his friends for breakfast, but something inside him was making him go down the staircase.

As soon as he set foot on the common room, he finally knew why he was itching to go down this early. Lily Evans was curled up on the couch, writing on a parchment. James' heart fluttered as he caught sight of her and his feet walked towards her.

"Hey, Evans," He said as he sat down beside her. She looked up at him and nodded, returning back to writing on her parchment.

"So, what are you writing?" James asked, trying to make her talk and she did, but like James when he's mad, he only received one word.

"Homework," she said in a dead voice, not removing her eyes from her homework.

James sighed deeply, knowing that he's not going far from here so he started to apologize.

"Look, Evans, I'm sorry for last night. I am a jerk, aren't I?" he said. Lily looked up at him once again.

"I'm glad you sorted that out, Potter," Lily said, "Now, just leave me alone!" James buried his face in his hands, groaning. He had her and he lost her! Talk about being hopeless. But Lily's tinkling laugh made him look up.

"I'm kidding, Potter," Lily said, and James grinned stupidly at her, "I guess my shoe already made you pay."

"Yeah, it did," James said, relieved that Lily was talking to him, "So do you want to go down to breakfast-? As friends, I mean," James added hastily, afraid that Lily might hit him with a shoe this time. Lily seemed to think this thought over and James waited for her answer expectantly.

To his surprise, Lily beamed at him and said, "Sure, I'm starving!" and James grinned stupidly at her. "Come on," he said as they walked together through the portrait hole. James' heart was thumping wildly. Lily Evans was being nice to him! He knew that her feelings for him were friendly but he was going to make sure that was going to change before the end of term.

"So, did you hit your head on something or what?" James said as they walked through the seventh floor corridor.

"What do you mean?" asked Lily, meeting his eyes, and soon he was lost in his own world, staring at her.

"James?" Lily asked and James realized that he was still staring at her and he quickly shook his head, getting rid of the image of him and Lily, holding hands as they walked through this corridor.

"Oh-! Well, you were suddenly nice to me, usually you'd go shouting at me when I talk to you but now, you don't, for a moment there, I thought you were going to through your shoe at me," he said, staring at the ceiling.

"Well, you said as _friends_, and I guess there's nothing wrong with that," she said in an unusually quiet voice.

James looked at her, his face fell slightly, but she was looking away, so he was unable to see her face clearly.

They sat together on the middle of the bench. There were only a few students up at this time, some were writing on their parchment at the same time, trying to eat hurriedly, especially the fifth and seventh years.

James quickly helped himself into a plate of eggs and into some soup, as Lily shook her head at him and his eating habits. They ate in silence and soon, the Great Hall was filled with students.

"PRONGS!" He heard Sirius voice call loudly as he and the Marauders, together with Mary, who was talking with Remus animatedly and grinned at the sight of James and Lily. Mary squeezed herself between them and flung her arm around Lily's shoulder as Sirius sat beside James and patted him on the shoulder.

"So… Have you two finally set aside you're differences-" Mary started.

"- and got together?" Remus finished.

"No, we were eating together, _as friends_," Lily said as he continued to nibble on her toasts.

The three Marauders and Mary raised their eyebrows. "Are you two secretly dating?" Peter asked as the other three, their eyebrows still rose, waiting expectantly. James heart throbbed as he wished that their accusations were true. "Shut Up," muttered Lily and he realized that he has a long way to go if he wants to finally win Lily, so he shut his mouth a bit back all the things that he was about to say.

"So, you _are_ secretly dating!" Sirius exclaimed. James jumped up from his bench,

"No, we are _not_ secretly dating!" James bellowed, but how he wished that it was true. James was surprised to hear someone's voice accompany his and realized that Lily was standing up too, and she said the same thing. The whole Gryffindor table was looking at them, startled at the outburst, which they said at the same time.

James felt a flush creep up his neck to his cheeks and he quickly strode off, out of the Great Hall. He went up to his dormitory, convincing himself that his plan was going to work tonight.

It was dinner that night and James stayed behind, making an excuse that he needed to finish homework, while the others went down to dinner. He seated himself in the armchair by the fire, wishing that his plan worked.

He had sent a Howler to Lily this night, asking her out. James grew more nervous as the minutes passed, hoping that this would really work.

After almost an hour, his heart fell when he heard a loud shriek from the portrait hole, then he knew that his plan had failed.

"POTTER!" Lily shrieked as she walked through the portrait hole, closely followed by the Marauders and Mary.

James stood up, his eyes wide. Lily's face was furious.

"_What did you send that for? Trying to humiliate me in front of the whole student body?"_ Lily said, her face flushing with anger.

"No- No," James started but was cut off by Lily's derisive laughter.

"_I thought we were friends! We made a deal right? You'll stop asking me out, but I guess you're just playing with me, huh? I bet being nice to me was just a show, huh?" _There were angry tears forming in her eyes.

"No, it's not! I mean it, really!"

"_I bet all those years of asking me out were just a huge joke, waiting for me say yes to you so you can all laugh at me, huh? Well, sorry to break this to you Potter, but your plan won't work!"_ And with that, she stormed out of the room, leaving a shocked and hurt James behind, Mary quickly following behind.

He sank back on his chair; every word that Lily said went through him like an icy knife. He buried his face in his hands. How could she not understand that he was not joking? That all those years of asking her out were not a joke?

He felt the Marauders sit around him and someone patting his back. He realized that tears were slowly pouring down his face as he walked to the corner of the room, away from his friends. He leaned his hand against the wall, as if trying to push it away as he looked down, the tears freely dropping from his face, ignoring all the students that were staring at him.

He was shocked and hurt and confused and angry at the same time. He didn't know what to do and he was really shocked that he was crying over a girl. He took deep breaths and tried to calm himself. Once he was sure that he was composed he walked towards his friends and sat down between Remus and Sirius, staring at the fireplace blankly.

"I don't understand," James muttered. "I don't understand her at all!"

"You know, you should just give her time," Sirius said. James was so surprised, as he looked up. Sirius was saying something like that? "And let her come to you," he finished.

"What?" Sirius said, shrugging at his best friend's incredulous stare. "It's true, mind you; giving her more time to realize that what you feel for her isn't just a joke just might work. Try and be nice to her." By the end of his little advice, the rest of the Marauders were now openly staring at him as he shrugged.

"I'm going to bed," James said and without another word, he made his way to the spiral staircase. As soon as he entered his dormitory he threw himself on his bed. He spotted a piece of parchment, a quill and an ink bottle on his bedside table.

Without thinking, he grabbed it and started to write a letter for Lily.

_Lily,_

_Look, I really am sorry for what I did, I just want you to know that I am not fooling you and all those years of asking you out were not a joke._

_I hope you'll understand. I really wish we can be friends again. Sorry_

_James,_

He read it over and over and hid it under his pillow. He changed into his pajamas and removed his glasses. Sleep seems to be the best solution to calming down.

He closed his eyes and dreamed about Lily, wishing that all those dreams would finally come true.

He woke up early to give the letter to the Owlery. He quickly changed into his robes quietly and made his way down the spiral staircase. He wished he wouldn't meet Lily in the common room now, he doesn't know if he can face her right now.

To his relief, Lily wasn't there. He made his way to the Owlery, his mind drifting away to Lily Evans, as usual. He didn't expect this at all; he expected it to be easier. He thought that after being friends with her, it will go on smoothly, but it seems that he's not good at guessing.

He picked a barn owl and told it to give it to Lily this morning. The owl gave a hoot and James quickly left.

He waited for his roommates to wake up and get dressed before telling him what he did. He also told them what he put in the letter, due to Sirius and Remus' plea.

"So, why did you put 'hope you'll understand'? She'll think that you gave up on her!" Sirius said as they made their way out of the portrait hole.

"Of course not, I'm doing what you said! I'm gibing her more time," James answered, confused on why they were suddenly keen on talking to him about Lily when they used to convince him that he has no chance at all.

"But James, don't you think that what you said might convince her that you don't like her anymore?" Remus argued. James rolled his eyes.

"Moony, do you honestly think that she thinks that a guy that's been asking her out since third year would let go of her just like that? I don't think so," he knew that his friends argued back, but unfortunately for them, James already zoned out as his eyes fell to Lily Evans.

It was as if she was the only one in the world that he could look at. It was really lucky for him that the people that were walking towards them could avoid him because he really didn't know where he was walking at until his friends pulled him into his seat.

He was about to go after her when he remembered that she was angry with him. To his surprise, Sirius did not plunge into his food immediately at all, instead he looked rather worried and so are Remus and Peter. Sirius suddenly stood up, with a meaningful glance at Remus and Peter.

James shrugged; he figured that he would wait for them to finally tell it to him. But to his surprise, Sirius squeezed himself between Mary and Lily but that wasn't the real surprise. Sirius hasn't got a smile or even a trace of a smirk on his face, instead, his face was serious and all traces of joking were lost in his face.

Mary seemed to be helping him, because, she too, shared the same expression with Sirius. Lily was turning slightly pink, whether from irritation, anger or embarrassment, he did not know.

Just then, the Owl Post arrived and Sirius muttered something to Mary and she nodded as an owl arrived in front of Lily, holding out his leg for her to untie the note that James wrote. Sirius quickly stood up from their seat and hurried toward the Marauders as James quickly looked down at his breakfast, eating it quickly. He didn't want to see Lily reaction and he was afraid to see a negative reaction from her.

A few minutes passed and he was quite surprised to feel someone poking his shoulder, he looked around and saw Lily Evans, sitting beside him, smiling, though there was something forced in her smile and he had a sinking feeling that maybe she was only doing this because Sirius and Mary forced her.

"May I talk to you?" Lily said. James nodded as she stood up and James followed suit. He could feel the Marauders' gazes boring onto his back.

They walked out of the Great Hall and rounded on the corner. Lily was not looking at him. Minutes passed and James waited patiently, admiring her red hair. She took a deep breath and finally looked up at him and said,

"I received your letter,"

James merely nodded; it seems that happiness, doubt and nervousness were fighting their way toward his throat, making it unable to speak.

"And I am sorry for yelling at you like that," she finished. He sighed in relief; he actually thought that Lily was going to hit him, because of the "always-blows-up-in-unexpected-ways".

But then, he realized that Sirius and Mary talked to her a while ago and the doubt that was building up inside him was voiced out. "Sirius and Mary didn't force you unto this, did they?" he asked reluctantly.

He was expecting her to get angry again but to his delight, she smiled, "No, they didn't"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," she smiled again and there was still something forced in it, but her eyes looked sincere so James took it as a confirmation. "So… I guess I'd better go," Lily said and James looked at her red hair, swishing lightly behind her. Then something caught his eyes.

Something just fell from her robes, to the place where she had been a moment before. James picked it up and realized that it was another piece of parchment, crumpled slightly. Judging by its looks, it seems that this was written a few days ago because the ink looked dry and the parchment looked like it was folded and crumpled a few times.

What's written in it was the one that surprised him, inside it was a list, clearly Lily's handwriting. It read:

_James Potter_

_5 things why I should hate him:_

_-he's arrogant_

_-he's a bully_

_-he's a git_

_-he's childish_

_-he's immature_

James' heart sank at this until he noticed that there was something else written at the bottom.

_5 things why I suddenly talked to him, __civilly:_

_-he's got beautiful eyes_

_-he's talented_

_-he's smart without studying at all_

_-he's friendly_

_-AND I KNOW THIS LIST WILL BE MORE THAN 5 BECAUSE THERE'S SUDDENLY SO MANY STUFF THAT'S GOOD ABOUT HIM AND IT'S FREAKING ME OUT!_

James heart was beating faster and faster, though he was just standing there. He can't believe that Lily was the one that wrote this. _Two steps forward!_ He thought to himself.

He considered asking her about this, but then he remembered what Sirius had said, _"Give her more time,"_ and he will definitely do that, he was not taking any risks.

_One step at a time, James, one step at a time,_ he repeated over and over his head.

It's seems that his grin was stuck to his face as he entered the Great Hall.

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**Sorry, if it took a long time for me to update. Anyway, this one was the longest of them all, so read and REVIEW!**


	7. Hogsmeade

**I own nothing!**

**Jamie****: haha, thanks for noticing that! I often make mistakes like that, I've been busy lately (funny how a thirteen-year old kid like me can be busy, but honestly, I really am!) and sometimes, I write the chapters when I'm tired and sleepy, Anyway, you wrote the best review ever!**

**And thanks to everyone that reviews my stories and I would really appreciate it if you review more! Read and Review please! Constructive Criticisms are very much appreciated :D  
**

**-imsonotagirl93 ;)**

*** * ***

**Chapter 7: Hogsmeade **

That glorious Monday morning could've been the most wonderful day James had ever experienced. First, Lily Evans, the love of his life, forgave him, after less than twenty-four hours, which seemed unlikely, since every time they had a fight in the previous years, it took them weeks to make up, sometimes Lily said sorry grudgingly, not that he doesn't want how things are going on now.

Second, he saw that note, that _wonderful_ note, which Lily Evans wrote herself. It really lightened up his spirits, that letter did. It was like everything he had planned for this term was falling into place, but James was still trying to convince himself that he mustn't get his hopes up yet, for all he knows, he might do something stupid that would change his whole improving relationship with Lily Evans.

And third, his relationship with Lily Evans, as friends (much to his delight) was getting better and better, not that he preferred it that way. He was still hoping that all of this would work, and that Lily Evans will finally be his.

But still, through all of this happiness he still feels a bit lonely. His friends were still being quite obvious in hiding stuff from him; he figured that when the time comes, they will finally tell him whatever they're hiding. But still, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being shunted away by his friends off.

He couldn't help thinking that one day; his friends would disown him as a Marauder. Of course, due to his stupid and childish reasons, he voiced this out as they sat in their dormitory, the night before Hogsmeade weekend.

"… Why would we disown you?" Sirius laughed as he fell back onto his bed while Remus and Peter chuckled softly.

"Well, you're hiding stuff from me. You don't usually hide stuff from me," said James, who doesn't find this amusing at all, at this the three stiffened slightly. There was silence where James eyed his three friends. Remus was good in hiding his guilt and discomfort, but still James can see it in his eyes. Peter was looking down, determinedly avoiding his gaze, fidgeting with his shirt. But Sirius' behavior was a give away.

He was looking at the ground then at James then at the ground again. Then he opens his mouth as if he was going to say something then closes it again as if he thought better of it.

Noticing weakness, he eyed Sirius instead of Remus and Peter. He eyed Sirius intently, not taking his eyes away from him, even if he's looking anywhere but him. He smirked as Sirius began to sweat slightly and looked pleadingly at Remus and Peter but unfortunately, he received no help from either of them. They seem to think that they were better off without James' death glares.

Soon, Sirius looked like he was going to crack and James' smirk grew bigger and bigger. After a few minutes, Sirius seemed to finally crack under James' death glare and burst into speech.

"Well, I wanted to tell you but Moony here," he started in a fast manner as he jerked his head towards Remus, "won't let me tell you and Mary disagrees with me, too. I kept telling them to tell you but they said I really shouldn't because it will stop the plan-" at the mention of "the plan", Remus threw a glare at Sirius and Sirius instantly stopped in his fast rant about "the plan".

James found himself wondering what "the plan" was. "Okay- So what exactly is 'the plan' that you're talking about?" James asked, shifting his gaze from Sirius to Remus and to Peter.

"Nothing," Peter muttered and it was quite obvious that this was not nothing at all. He looked questioningly at Remus, who was throwing glares at Sirius and Peter as if all of this was their entire fault when really; he was hiding stuff from him too.

When he noticed that he was not going to get his answer, he lay back on his bed and sighed. "Never mind," he muttered, "let's just talk about… something else." James didn't want to be bothered by the stuff they're hiding, but he promised himself that he _will_ find out… eventually.

His friends let out a sigh of relief as he said that. "Prongs are you going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" asked Sirius, his tone making it clear that he loved the subject change.

"Of course I'll go, why wouldn't I?" said James, staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.

"No, Prongs, I believe Padfoot here meant _'are you going out with Evans tomorrow, in Hogmeade?'_" said Remus, who looked slightly relieved. Knowing him, he probably knew that James wasn't going to let the case of them hiding stuff from him go this easily.

"Oh," James said casually, "No, she'll kill me if I ask her out," he added and he was not exaggerating, well, maybe he is, but knowing Lily Evans' temper, she'll probably do something close to that, anyway. He didn't want to risk being close to Lily yet.

"But you still like her, right?" asked Peter in a sort of worried voice. James propped himself up with his elbows and raised his eyebrows at Peter, while Remus and Sirius threw furtive glares at him.

James found it odd for his friends to behave like this about his and Lily's relationship. Usually they would just tease him over and over again on how desperate and hopeless his actions are. Before, (during his first year at Hogwarts, to be exact), he knew he just fancied Lily and her beautiful dark red hair and how it moves behind her back when she walks and those beautiful, stunning emerald green eyes.

He knew his feelings for her began to deepen when he started having daydreams about him and her and when he suddenly felt uninterested with all the female population in Hogwarts and- BOOM- before he knew it, he was already in love with her.

He knows it sounds cheesy, according to Sirius anyway, but his feelings for her just sort of happened. Honestly, he didn't know how the hell it happened; it was like it was meant to be-

"James?" asked Sirius, his question bringing his mind back to earth.

"Huh?" said James absentmindedly, steering his mind away from Lily and turned to look at Sirius.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked, he probably thought that James was planning some kind of prank on them for hiding stuff from him because there was worry hidden behind his voice and James couldn't help but smirk. He was more of a threat than he thought he was.

"Just thinking of… some things," said James cryptically, grinning, and hoping that Sirius would think that he _was_ planning something on them.

A small "Oh," came from Sirius and James closed his eyes. Before he knew it, sleep began to conquer him, but before he fell into a deep sleep, he though he heard Remus saying,

"He's pretty thick, isn't he?"

James was awakened by the sound of a door closing. He reached beside his bedside table for his glasses and put them on. He realized that his friends just left their dormitory without him. He quickly changed from his pajamas when he realized that there was a Hogsmeade trip today.

When he went down to the common room, it was to find it deserted. Everyone must be down in the Great Hall for breakfast.

As he entered the Great Hall, he caught sight of the rest of the Marauders with Mary, deep in conversation and, with a great jolt of pleasure, Lily Evans, a few seats away from the Marauders and Mary and suddenly, his feet was leading him towards Lily.

She was trying to do her homework and eat her breakfast at the same time. She look flustered and like she's been sleeping late almost everyday.

"Hey," he greeted her as he sat down beside her.

"Hey," she said, nodding but immediately returning back to her work.

"What are you working on?" James asked as Lily continued to write on her parchment and James took a bite of toast.

"Transfiguration essay," Lily said without looking up from her work.

"Oh, that's due on Monday right? I thought you were done with that by now," James said.

"Well, thanks for rubbing it in, Potter," she began as James looked at her with raised eyebrows. She smiled apologetically at him and said, "Sorry, It's just that someone- I mean, _something_ is on my mind and it keeps on distracting me everyday!"

James felt a pang of jealousy in the pit of his stomach for that "someone"; he wished that that little "someone" was just a mistake. He watched Lily as she tucked her hair behind her ear. How he wished he could do that himself.

Then his eyes fell to the Marauders and Mary and he suddenly felt that he wasn't the only one who was being shunted away by his friends.

"Hey, Evans?" he asked Lily, his eyes glued to their friends.

"Hmmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Uh-huh, what is it?" she asked, looking up from her essay to look directly at James eyes so that he had a sudden urge to ask her out recklessly like he did before. The effects that Lily's eyes had on him can sometimes be dangerous. It was a good thing that he caught himself before asking her out in Hogsmeade.

"Has Mary been…? I don't know, distant from you? Because Sirius, Remus and Peter are, it's like their hiding something from me but I don't know what and it seems like they've been talking to Mary a lot lately,"

To his surprise, Lily agreed with him. "Yeah? Well, join the club! Mary's been hiding something from me too and we always tell secrets about each other,"

"Have you ever figured out what they were talking about?" asked James.

"No, but Mary let something slip about a "plan" or something. Do you know what that is?" Lily said and James spirits went high when he realized that Lily was actually eager to discuss something with him. It was like their first proper conversation.

"Actually, Sirius let something like that slip too…" and the two continued on talking and talking to each other, their subject steering away from their original one until they were actually talking about something completely unrelated to their original subject, Lily's essay completely forgotten.

James was choosing his every word careful, in case that he would say something stupid and arrogant that would cause Lily to get mad and make his relationship with Lily back to zero. Luck seemed to be with him because he hadn't said anything bad at all and he and Lily were so preoccupied with their conversation that they hadn't noticed their friends coming up to them.

"Hey you guys, fancy seeing you two together!" Sirius said as he squeezed himself into the seat between him and Lily.

"Well, seeing as _our friends_ were having a discussion _without_ us, we figured that the _outcasts_-" she said gesturing at James and herself, "-could have some time to discuss why _our friends_ are keeping secrets from _us_," she retorted and James couldn't help but smirk at their guilty faces.

"Yeah- well- Err… come on, James, it's time to go down to the wonderful village of Hogsmeade," said Sirius, a little too happily, in a singsong voice. James rolled his eyes and stood up. Then he noticed that Lily made no move to stand up from her seat but instead, she continued to write her essay.

"Uh… aren't you going to Hogsmeade, Evans?" asked James as Mary and the other Marauders began to walk outside the Great Hall.

"Oh, no I'm not," said Lily, looking up from her essay again.

"What? Why not?" asked James, "Mary's going…" he added. The Marauders and Mary have stopped walking at this point and Sirius was calling for James, which James gladly ignored. He returned back to his seat, beside her, to talk to Lily.

"Well, I've got loads of stuff to do and I already went there loads of times so it's not really a great loss," said Lily.

"But what about Mary? Who's she going with?" asked James and was surprised to see Lily beaming at him then shifted his gaze at Remus and Mary, who was standing on the entrance of the Great Hall with Peter and Sirius, talking animatedly.

"Oh, she's not going to be alone, she's going with Remus," Lily said to him, retuning her gaze at him, beaming. It took a few seconds for that news to sink inside James mind. He knew it would work out, somehow… You can't really stop falling in love and it's hard if you try, you'll only end up hurting yourself.

He was brought back to his senses when he heard Lily snapping her fingers in front of him. "Potter, I think Sirius will drag you out of here if you don't stand up," she said, gesturing towards Sirius, who was indeed making his way towards them, with an impatient expression on his face.

"Oh- Sure, bye Evans!" he said as Sirius dragged him out. Once they were out of the Great Hall, James rounded on Remus. "Why didn't you tell me that you're going out with her?" asked James, gesturing at the two of them.

Remus just smirked but didn't answer; instead, it was Sirius who talked. "Don't worry, mate, he didn't tell me either. He thinks that Peter is the _most trustworthy_ of us all,"

"Well, he is! At least he wouldn't shout it out to everyone," said Remus as the five of them walked towards the village of Hogsmeade.

"Oh my god, Moony! I can't believe you don't trust us," Sirius said in a mock hurt voice, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. Remus rolled his eyes at his friends and their childish manners.

"Come on, Wormy, Padfoot, we better leave Remmy and his date _alone,_" he said, walking between Sirius and Peter and flinging his arms around them, dragging them away from Remus and Mary. "See you guys later at the Three Broomsticks!" Sirius added over his shoulder as he gave Remus a wink.

They went to Zonko's, the joke shop first. They stayed there for a while, poring over stuff that they could use as pranks. Then they went to Honeydukes, due to Sirius' whines. James bought a pile of Chocolate Frogs and they took their time eating Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Peter often gets the horrible flavors.

Finally, they considered it a day and headed for the Three Broomsticks for a drink before heading back to the castle. They met up with Remus and Mary there and the five sat in a table near a window. James could see Snape and his friends in a table not far from them but James ignored them, he wouldn't want to lose Lily's trust again.

Remus got up to order their butterbeer's when a cold, drawling voice interrupted his conversation with Sirius about Quidditch and their chances of winning the cup.

"So, Potter, I suppose your _plan_ for Lily is finally working out?" he turned around to see Snape, sneering at him, his voice full of loathing for James.

"What do you want, Snivellus?" James said, he didn't want to fight with him, but he was the one who was bringing it up.

"Nothing, Potter, nothing. I was just wondering when you'll stop using Lily," Snape said in the same cold, drawling voice.

James insides bubbled with anger and pure loathing as those words escaped form his mouth. How dare he think that he was just using Lily? Sirius made a move to get up but James held a hand to stop him. This was really a challenge for his self-control. "Shut up, Snivellus," said James in a cold voice.

"What's this? You're actually stopping Black to attack me, like you usually do? Tell me, is this part of you're whole charade to trick Lily Evans?" Snape said. At this point, Remus already came back with their butterbeers and quickly stopped and placed the butterbeers on the table before standing near James and Snape.

"I am not tricking Lily Evans. Now, _Snivellus_, for your information, I'm Head Boy! So if you don't want to end up in detention, you'd better shut that big mouth of yours!" James said, barely holding on to the little control that he's got.

"Oh, you wouldn't want to abuse your authority, would you, Potter?" Snape said, still sneering at him and it was taking every ounce of James' self control not to reach out for his wand and hex Snape into a slug right now.

"Shut up, Snivelly, or…" James' voice trailed off in anger. In truth, he didn't know what he wanted to do with Snape; he just knows that he wanted it to be as painful as possible.

"Or what, Potter?" Snape smirked at him, "Are you 'gonna call for your _dead_ parents?" At this point, James already stood up from his seat and glared at Snape, shaking with anger. "Leave it, James, he's not worth it," Sirius said, grabbing his arm as he too, glared at Snape.

James completely lost his temper when Snape let out a humorless laugh. Forgetting about wands and magic, his fist connected with Snape's jaw as he toppled over him. He punched every inch he could reach of Snape. He could hear Sirius and Mary, telling him to stop and the other students in the shop, mostly girls, screaming. He could feel arms, trying to grab him away from Snape, but he really couldn't care less.

"_You- stupid- BASTARD! How- dare- you- talk- about- parents- like that!"_ He said, emphasizing each word with a punch in every inch of Snape's figure.

Unfortunately, Snape managed to get his wand, there was a flash of light and a gash appeared in James' cheek, splattering his clothes with blood. He barely felt the pain from his cheek for his was so preoccupied by his anger and right now, hurting Snape was all that mattered to him. James was about to pull his wand out of his pocket when he heard a loud BANG and a very powerful force knocked him backwards, away from Snape. Before he knew it, Professor McGonagall was already shouting at them.

"A prefect and a Head Boy, fighting in public! I never thought that such attitude was possible-!" she was saying before Snape interrupted her.

"Potter was abusing his position as Head Boy, Professor," he said quietly.

"That's not true, you greasy git!" Sirius bellowed just as James said, "What I didn't-!" but he was silenced by McGonagall's stern gaze, he could see Snape smirking at him behind her back.

"Language, Mr. Black," she said towards Sirius before turning to James. "Well, if that's the case, Mr. Potter, I suppose that I should get that authority away from you, shouldn't I?" said McGonagall and James felt frustration building up inside him at the unfairness of the situation.

"What? But-" Remus tried to explain but McGonagall cut him off. Being top pranksters really does have its bad consequences. Teachers rarely believe their reasons anymore.

"No, but's. Detention for you two, Mr. Snape, Mr. Potter-" But James didn't hear the rest of her punishment for he had already walked out of the pub. He didn't care if he just walked out off his Head of House; there was too much anger inside him to care about that right now. He walked towards the castle, out of the village, trying to calm himself down.

How could he say that? How could he rub it in his face that his parents were dead? Suddenly the sinking feeling that he felt when his parents died came back to him, like a piece of his heart had gone and a small hole was left there, which was his parents' place.

The most annoying and frustrating part was what Snape said about Lily. He was not using Lily and he knew that he was just saying that because Snape was jealous of him, because he and Lily used to be friends. What he was doing with Lily was a plan, yes, but he was not using her like that. The plan was a plot to get to her, who he desperately needs.

He was walking towards the front doors of the castle when he felt a sting in his cheek. He reached up and felt blood in his fingers. Suddenly he remembered that Snape gave him that wound and it only made his insides bubble with anger.

He went to the tapestry where there was a shortcut to the Gryffindor Tower. Portraits stared shamelessly at his wound as he made his way up to the seventh floor. When he reached portrait of the Fat Lady, she quickly questioned him about what happened to his cheek.

"My dear boy! What happened to your-?"

"Baubles!" he said before the Fat Lady even had the chance of completing her sentence as she swung open to let James enter.

James quickly went through the hole and what he saw in there _almost _made his worries go away. The common room was filled with first and second years who weren't allowed to go to Hogsmeade yet. There in the couch near the fireplace was Lily Evans, her feet were up, curled up like a ball, reading.

He went over her and she looked up as his shadow loomed over her.

"Hey, why are you- Merlin! What happened to you?" she said, looking up from her book as her eyes fell on the deep gash on his cheek.

"Oh-! Nothing… nothing," he answered as he found himself sitting beside her in the couch. "So, what're you reading?" he asked her, trying to change the subject, but she was not fooled.

"Come on, We'll go to the Hospital Wing," she said, placing her book on the couch, ignoring James' attempt of subject change, and pulled James by the arm, at same time, goose bumps erupted from his arm. "You don't want that to leave a mark, do you?" she said when James made no move to follow her, "that will ruin your face," she added when James still didn't move.

"Fine," he finally agreed. He didn't want to have a scar on his cheek and besides, Lily would be with him. Lily dragged him towards the Hospital Wing, still clutching his arm, which James made no move to remove.

When they finally got there, Madam Pomfrey, the immediately attended on James' wound, at the same time, she was scolding him for not being careful in Hogsmeade. Of course, James didn't tell her that he got into a fight, that only means that there would be more scolding. He only told her that he tripped and hit a tree.

With his wound healed, with no scars and marks on his face, he and Lily made their way back to Gryffindor Tower. Lily was looking suspicious and he knew that she didn't believe the whole story that he gave Madam Pomfrey.

"You know, something tells me that you didn't really trip," said Lily as they entered the common room and sat at the same couch they occupied a while ago.

"Fine," he said, he didn't know why he can't lie to Lily, except with the whole Animagus and Werewolf secret. "I didn't really trip,"

"So, what happened to you?" she asked, worry evident in her voice. He was really lucky that Lily wasn't asking questions about them Animagi because he was certain the he would answer every question she asked.

"I- I got in a fight…" he answered cautiously. He wished that Lily would not make a great deal about this.

"A fight? With whom?" her voice, to James delight, was still calm. Like she was already used to this happening to James, at this, he was grateful but he doesn't think that Lily would still be this calm when she knew who he fought with.

"Uhm… With... Snape," he said reluctantly, looking down at the floor. But he was surprised when a small "oh," escaped from Lily.

"Well, he must do something that provoked you. What did he do?" asked Lily in an unusually quiet voice. Maybe he imagined it but he thought he heard genuine concern in her voice but he shrugged it off, it just may be the work of his imagination, filled with Lily and Quidditch.

"He- He insulted my parents…" He decided with half of the truth. The thing about his parents only caused him to lose his temper and self-control. What really made him mad was the thing about Lily.

"_What?!"_ Lily exclaimed, outrageous. Her book seemed to be forgotten. James was so surprised and grateful at this that he looked up. Lily Evans was not yelling at him for assaulting Snape.

"Have you hit your head or something, Evans?" asked James, trying to reach out and feel her head, suddenly afraid that she might hit her head hard, but Lily shook it off.

"Of course I didn't. He really shouldn't say something like that, not when… Never mind," She said when she remembered that James was there. James looked questioningly at her. Not when… what?

"What do you mean?" he questioned her. Lily just shook her head and said,

"No, it's really a private thing… with his parents, I mean."

"Oh," James said and his insides squirmed uncomfortably. This was proof that Snape and Lily were closer friends than he and Lily. It seems like they know everything about each other. He remembered the first time he saw Lily and Snape in the Hogwarts Express, she was defending him then and since James saw her, he felt disappointed that she was defending a boy like Snape and since then, he hated Snape.

"Potter? Are you still with me?" asked Lily and he realized that he was looking at her blankly. He quickly averted his gaze from Lily to the first years who seemed to be losing their minds on their homework.

"Wha-? Oh, yeah. Sorry," said James returning his gaze back to Lily. "What do you mean about his parents?" he asked, curiosity taking him over.

"Oh- Well… But don't go and hold this against him, okay?" she asked first before going on, on what she was saying as James nodded. "You see, his dad was a muggle and his mum and dad you usually fight all the time. That's way Sev- _Snape_ hated him and his dad hated him back," she explained.

"Oh, well that's horrible," for the first, and hopefully the last time, James was feeling bad for Snape but it quickly went away when he remembered what he did to him a while ago.

"Anyway, where's Sirius and Remus?" asked Lily, who was making it clear that she didn't want the subject that they were having. She and Snape were really good friends back then, until Snape called her "Mudblood" in front of everyone.

"Well, I kind of walked out on McGonagall," said James sheepishly. Now that he thought about it, he knew what he did was horrible and he might get double detention but it's alright, as long as he didn't get to hear McGonagall's shouts. It was actually a good thing, for him, anyway, but for Sirius and the others, not really.

"And you left them there? Wow, you really are a loyal friend, aren't you?" said Lily, though he knew she was joking with him, a very rare occasion. Still, James' insides were screaming with joy when he realized that he and Lily were having a conversation without shouting at each other.

"Well, I'm not really myself when I'm mad, Merlin! I wonder what McGonagall-" but the rest of what he was going to say was drowned out by a loud yell from the portrait hole as he and Lily looked up.

"PRONGS!" Sirius bellowed, followed by Remus, Peter and Mary, who looks equally disgruntled.

"Oh no," James muttered as Lily smirked at him. "That's what you get for deserting friends," she muttered to him, but James barely noticed for his had muttered a quick, "See you," at her and retreated, fast, towards the spiral staircase towards the boy's dormitory.

That night was spent with Sirius and the other two Marauders, yelling at James about betrayal and how horrible it is for McGonagall to shout at them when it really was his fault.

But James really couldn't care less because he just realized that he actually spent two whole, proper conversations, with Lily Evans. He didn't care that his friends were shouting and yelling at him at that time.

All he could think about was those conversations and he only hoped that this turn of events would go on and on.

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**I know, it's been a week and sorry for letting you wait. Read and Review please! Do you like it or not? Anyway, I would really appreciate it if you reviewed! And sorry for some grammatical errors. ;)**


	8. Eavesdropping

**I own nothing!**

**PLEASE READ THIS! THIS IS IMPORTANT!**

**You see, I'm not sure if I'm going to write the part where Lily and James are already together, if I will, I'll probably write it as a sequel cause the title "How They Came To Be" doesn't match with it and I'll entitle it as "When It Rains" (Big Paramore fan here!) instead because the message of the song kind of fits perfectly with what's going to happen in that story (listen to it if you want, the meaning is rather deep) and I doubt that it would all be fun and sweet, of course there should be problems to keep the story going, but I really do need your opinion. Second, I'm not sure if I'm going to write in Lily's or James' perspective and I really need you to state your opinion. Please, please do! If you don't, I'm not going to write the part where they are together anymore (the sequel, When It Rains) and I really care about what the readers think. Thanks a lot!**

**Anyway, Read and Review, I don't really like this chapter much and maybe you won't too, but you can't really expect them to get together that easily, after all those years of Lily hating him, right? No, it shouldn't be that easy, for me, anyway, it just adds to the thrill and excitement! ;)**

**-imsonotagirl93 ;)**

*** * ***

**Chapter 8: Eavesdropping**

It was a cold, December, Thursday night and two boys, were watching the rain drops, slowly splattering on the window, bored without their two other friends. Tomorrow will be their last day this term. Remus was at the Hospital Wing, it was the day after the full moon and he wasn't really that badly hurt, just a few bruises and scratches but James and Sirius was, not that they blame Remus for that, it was their fault anyway, they arrived late, it was a good thing that they transformed before reaching the shack, if they didn't, their wounds would've affected them.

James had a huge scratch on his right arm, from his shoulder, down to his elbow; it was a good thing that they were wearing robes. Sirius' injury weren't as bad as James' was but he did have a big bruise on his forearm.

Peter, meanwhile, was having detention with Professor Slughorn, after his potion exploded in one of their classes. Slughorn was not very fond of him like he was with Lily, James, Sirius and Remus.

"Want to plan a prank on Snivellus?" asked Sirius for almost the tenth time. He still hadn't let the fight between James and Snape last Hogsmeade visit go.

"No, I'm not in the mood," answered James, who was still looking out the window. The truth was he didn't want to, yes, Lily didn't get mad during their fight last week but the only reason why she didn't get mad was there was a reason why James attacked Snape. So now, if he pulled a prank on him, Lily would be mad at him and he'll lose their friendship and he had to start all over again.

"Fine," said Sirius grumpily, it was obvious that he knew why James doesn't want to pull that prank but didn't want to argue.

"'Wanna sneak into the kitchens?" asked James, feeling like he owes Sirius some adventures. Well, sneaking into the kitchens isn't that adventurous but still, it brightened up Sirius' face. It's been a long time since they sneaked out at night; it was already past their curfew.

"Thought you'd never ask, come on, I'm starving!" he said, grinning at him.

James stood up and opened his trunk, retrieving his Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder's Map from it. He and Sirius went under it and walked slowly towards the door, to avoid showing their feet. They talked about Quidditch and their chances of winning the cup… again.

As they stepped onto the last step on the staircase, he saw Lily Evans and her friend (and his friend, too) Mary Macdonald, talking by the window, looking out to the school grounds. James' heart skipped a beat as he stared at her. He could actually stand there until morning, as long he was staring at her.

Only Sirius tugged him hard to keep him walking. He stopped again as Mary and Lily's conversation drifted over his ears.

"Mary, have you ever liked someone who doesn't like you back?" asked Lily and James heart skipped a beat as he and Sirius looked at each other, his best friend's expression was unreadable. The first thought that came to him was: _"Of course that's not me; everyone in this castle knows that I like her. Even the Professors know that!"_ But still, he stayed where he was, hoping that, somehow, it was him.

"Hmm…" replied Mary, "Most people do, but I haven't. Wait, why do you ask?"

"Nothing," said Lily and even though their back was turned on them, he could tell that Lily was flushing.

"May I guess who that _lucky_ guy is?" asked Mary, with a giggle and James' heart was beating faster and faster as he waited to know who that boy is.

"Whatever," said Lily and he could almost see her rolling her eyes. Sirius was tugging hard on his sleeve, trying hard to get him to walk but James made no move to walk.

"Fine, I guess I'll go down by myself. Give me the map," said Sirius, who seemed disgruntled by delaying his access of food. James gave him the map without a word but he knew that Sirius was becoming annoyed by the second as he went out of the Cloak carelessly, but he couldn't really care less right now.

Mary was still stating random boys from all over the school, including first years and above. James waited for his name to come up, his heart beating faster and faster with every minute of waiting.

"Hmm… Sirius Black?" asked Mary.

"EW, no way," answered Lily and James thought that he couldn't blame her for that.

"Remus Lupin?" suggested Mary as Lily disagreed, and James was actually shocked to hear her suggest Remus. Now, come to think of it, Remus never mentioned them as a couple and he made a mental note to ask Remus about that.

James wished that he could see Lily expression but if he moved, the sound of his foot steps might turn their attention over to him.

Mary seemed to be thinking about something for there was a moment of silence, only the sound of pages turned was heard and James' heart began to relax a little. Suddenly, Mary spoke and James' heart began to pound again as he waited quietly.

"What about James Potter?"

Another moment of silence and he could just wish that he could see Lily's face, to know her reaction to this. After a while, she finally spoke.

"No… No way. We're just friends. _Just friends_,"

James' face and heart could've fallen through the tower towards the dungeons. He quickly run to the portrait hole, not even bothering if Mary and Lily heard his foots steps or if they saw the portrait hole open in it's own accord.

He didn't know here he wanted to go, he just knew that he couldn't be in the same room as Lily right now. It was like a there was a great, huge boulder, rising from his stomach to his throat.

His feet carried him to the corridor where the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy was, trying to teach trolls ballet. Immediately, he closed his eyes as he thought, _I need a place to be alone… I need a place to be alone… I need a place to be alone._

Then a door appeared in front of him and he quickly wrenched it open. The room was spacious; there was a fire place and couch on the middle of the room. The walls were painted white and there was a single window near the couch, showing the view of the school grounds.

He walked towards the center and sank down on the couch. How could he have been so stupid? Thinking that Lily Evans might actually like him, of course she wouldn't! She hated him, _loathed _him since they first met on the train. He was a complete jerk for believing that Lily actually liked him. He couldn't believe that he let himself believe that she was starting to like him. Knowing her, maybe she just gave him a chance to be friends. _Only_ to be friends and nothing more.

What makes it harder was he knew that inside him, there was always this tiny little light of hope. But know it seems like it was becoming tinier and tinier, slowly turning into nothingness, and now that he knew, first hand from Lily, that there will be nothing more of them than just friends, by now, he thought that he might actually just give up and just watch Lily find the perfect guy for her but he knew that no matter how much he tried to get over her, he would never ever stop loving her for he had grown to care for her and he couldn't see how he could stop that. His feelings were not that easy to get rid of, especially the particular ones for Lily Evans.

He didn't even know if he wanted to talk or be near her presence for a very long time. He didn't know if he could stand looking at her, the one he always wanted, knowing that he could never have her in his arms, which he always dreams about, almost on a daily basis. He always hoped that he could always touch her hair without her screaming herself hoarse. He always hoped that someday, some _lucky_ day, he would be able to call her his and no one would get in their way.

But know that he knew that that was never going to happened, the tiny hope inside vanished and it seemed that it wasn't going to come back for a long, long time-

"Hey," a voice interrupted his depressing thoughts. He looked up to see Sirius, closing the door behind him, carrying two bottles of butterbeers. He sat beside James and handed him the bottle of butterbeer. James took it but didn't drink it. He didn't think that he could drink something right now, he feels like something was clogging his throat.

"How did you know I was here?" asked James, not looking at his best mate.

"I couldn't see you on the map, I thought you sneaked out of the castle and went to Hogsmeade but I should've seen you on the map so I went here," he answered, his voice doesn't seem to contain it's usual humor, though it was evident that he was trying to cheer him up, even though he didn't know that he was so sad, completely shattered, inside but it was quite evident in James' face that he was extremely upset.

James nodded and there was a lapse of silence between them. Finally, Sirius broke it and he asked,

"What happened?"

So James recounted what he had heard in the common room rather slowly for the pain in hearing that was still quite raw, Sirius though, was listening to him patiently, It was in these rare events, when they were under physical or emotional pain, that Sirius becomes tactful.

Once he was finished, there was another moment of silence. James was looking at anywhere but Sirius, whose eyes seemed to be stuck on him.

A second later, there was an outburst from Sirius and James almost jumped out of his seat.

"_What?!_ After all those years of going after her, you just hear something and then you'll just _stop_?! You're better than that, Prongs. I know you are." It took a few seconds for what he said to sink in and a few more for James to reply.

"You don't understand-" he started but Sirius cut him off. He never saw him this eager to get them together before.

"James, I think you're the one that can't understand," he stated and James looked up at his determined face. He stared at his best friend for a moment and sighed.

"What do you mean by that?" asked James starting to get annoyed. Of course Sirius can't understand he never had someone to love, he just have girls to snog.

"James, do you think just by giving up and by stopping you'll get her? 'Cause if I were her, I wouldn't, because by giving up, how would she know that you really like her?" said Sirius and James was taken aback to hear him say something like this. For a moment, he doubted that this was the real Sirius.

"What? Are you sure that you're really Sirius Black?" he asked as Sirius laughed.

"Well, I'm only stating the facts," answered Sirius.

"No-" he said, answering Sirius' question but he, once again, interrupted him, not letting him finish.

"Then why are you here sulking?" asked Sirius.

"Let me finish," he said first, for he had a feeling that Sirius would interrupt him again and Sirius nodded, "No, I'm not going to stop loving her, you know that I can't. I just have to stop hoping that someday she'll agree to go out with me. I know it's a lost cause, so why should I wait? And you said it, I've waited for years for her, then I had to know, straight from her, that she doesn't like me that way,"

Sirius sighed. "No, James, it's _going_ to be a lost cause if you give up. It won't be if you don't," and with that he exited the room, leaving James thinking through what he said. But no matter how much he thought about it, he knew that it wasn't going to work.

He'll just look like a pathetic, little bloke who keeps following his girl of his dreams everywhere, knowing full well that he's got no chance. Even in his mind, it still looked pathetic. He just had to avoid her for now, because he knew that just by seeing her and hearing her voice and knowing that she was present in a room would only make the hurt inside him become more pronounced.

He stayed there for a few more hours, wanting to be alone, thinking how good his and Lily's relationship would be if he wasn't a stupid, stupid, arrogant, good for nothing git.

He went back to his dormitory at around two in the morning. After pushing open the portrait hole, as the Fat Lady kept on shouting how late it is at him. When he entered, he saw that the rest of his roommates were already asleep. He sank onto his bed and fell into a deep sleep, not even bothering to change his clothes or remove his glasses.

When he woke up, it was to find the dormitory empty. Then, he realized that he was probably late for breakfast. So, he changed quickly and dashed out of the room. When he arrived at the Great Hall, he saw that only a few people were sitting for breakfast. He approached the Gryffindor Table and grabbed a toast before running off to his next class, Transfiguration.

When he entered the room, the class had already started. "Sorry, I'm late Professor," he said as he searched the room for Sirius. When he finally found him, he saw that he was smirking up at him as James glared back at his friend for not waking him up.

"Five points from Gryffindor," said McGonagall sternly, "Now, I suggest that you take a seat, Mr. Potter,"

James nodded and looked around. And with a slight lurch in his stomach, he realized that the only seat available was the one beside Lily. He cursed Sirius inside his mind as he realized that Sirius didn't wake him up on purpose.

He sat beside Lily and there was another lurch in his stomach when he looked at her, as what he heard yesterday made its way back to him. It was a good thing that Lily, too, was avoiding his gaze because he didn't know what he'd do, or feel, if he saw those beautiful green eyes.

The class went on and James found it hard to concentrate with Lily beside him as they transfigured a loaf of bread into a cake. He also found it hard to move, afraid to brush his arm against hers.

When the class ended, he left before any of the students did without another word to anyone.

The whole day went on like that, James avoiding her and the more he ignored her, the more Lily got quiet. James thought that he saw a flicker of disappointment in her face but James shook the thought off, he knew that the still hopeful side of him just imagined it.

As he sat inside his dormitory, doing his homework for Lily was doing her homework in the common room, he remembered that he has patrols tonight…with _Lily._

His stomach lurched uncomfortably. He couldn't even bear to be near her anymore, because he knew that if she just talked to him civilly, he'll just get his hopes up and he'll just get hurt all over again.

He reluctantly went down to the common room, just in time to see Lily pushing the portrait hole open. "Wait up," he called after her and she almost took his breath away when she turned around. He hadn't seen her properly today, since he's been avoiding her and avoiding looking at her.

"Oh, I thought you weren't going to come," she said in a quiet voice, she was avoiding his eyes too. James merely nodded as the truth of what he'd heard came rushing back to him. They were friends: Just friends. For the first time, he was glad that Lily, too, was avoiding staring at him. He didn't think that he could bear it.

Together, they went out of the portrait hole. James trailed after her, watching her red hair swishing behind her. Maybe he could satisfy himself by looking at her hair; he would deal with the pain later.

For hours, they just walked like that, James never bothered to catch up with her, watching her hair was alright with him. Suddenly, he heard an exasperated sigh from Lily as she stopped in her tracks and turned around and James almost walked into her.

"Why are you acting like this?" asked Lily as she eyed him for the first time but James wasn't looking at her, he was looking at anywhere but her.

"What do you mean?" he asked in a dead voice. For a moment he thought that there was a possibility that Lily liked him, because she was actually confronting him about it, but then he remembered that they were friends so it was likely that she should feel that way. No one would want a friend ignoring you.

"What do you mean, 'what do you mean?' It's obvious, isn't it? _Why_ are you avoiding me, Potter?" she asked but James didn't answer as he looked at his feet. He can't just tell her that he's avoiding her because of what he'd heard, so he chose to be quiet.

"Potter, why are you avoiding me?" she asked again exasperatedly but James still held his tongue. He didn't know why, but irritation was building inside him. Maybe it's because of the fact that the only reason why he was avoiding her was because of her. He knew he would sound stupid if he said that, besides, it sounds too cheesy. And if she knew that he eavesdropped on their conversation, she'll probably shout at him.

"Potter, just answer me!" she said, clearly exasperated now.

And without thinking he said,

"You have no idea, do you?"

Lily seemed taken aback for a moment but quickly said "What do you mean?" though this time, her voice sounded less irritated.

"You have no idea, how much it- it hurts to be rejected, do you? Because you never got rejected in your whole life! But that never stopped me and do you know how much it hurts to hear-" But he immediately broke off when he realized what he just said.

Lily's expression was somewhere between hurt and shock but James guessed that she was feeling more shocked.

Without another word, he turned around and left. He can't believe he said that! Now, he would look more stupid to Lily. He wasn't mad at Lily; he was mad at himself, for becoming such a jerk, but he knows Lily would probably think that he's mad at her.

If only he was more focused on his surroundings, he would have heard Lily sob as tears roll down from her eyes.

* * *

**Hey guys! So, I updated sooner than before. Now, if some of you are wondering why Lily said they were just friends, I just want to tell you that she's in denial at that time, I mean, if you were her, don't you think it's a bit odd that you suddenly liked that guy you've been hating for years?**

**Anyway, I hope you say your opinion with the question I asked before I started the chapter, because I'll appreciate it if you did and I'll know if you want me to continue or not! Thanks! And keep the reviews coming!**


	9. Jealous Much?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K Rowling!  
**

**Hey guys, so, thanks for everyone who reviewed and just to let you know, I'm going to do the sequel in Lily's perspective so we can have Lily's opinion of things. Anyway, here's chapter nine.**

**Read and review and constructive criticisms are appreciated. (I edited this chapter :D)**

**-imsonotagirl93 ;)**

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**Chapter 9: Jealous Much?**

It was their Christmas vacation and James was still staring at nothing in particular… _again._ Honestly, without his parents, he would be all alone in the Manor and he didn't want to spend his Christmas holidays alone so the rest of the Marauder's (except for Peter, for the boy always spends his holidays with his mum) decided to remain at the school for the Holidays. Only a week to go and the new term will begin. What he said the night before term ended kept on running through his mind, as if the whole scene was on tape and the more often it played inside his mind the more stupid he looks and sounds.

He honestly can't believe that he had a sudden outburst like that. He sounded pathetic, even in his own ears. And for the first time, he was glad that Lily Evans was away for the holidays. But seriously, has the world gone _mad_? Because almost everything was odd this year: Sirius was not acting like a tactless prat, his friends were hiding something for him and he's the one avoiding Lily Evans now. Last thing he needs is a Severus Snape hanging out with the Marauders.

The three Marauders were sitting in their dormitory. Remus and Sirius were playing exploding snap and James was paying no attention to them. They knew better than to disturb him in a state like this, Sirius knew that he still couldn't let the thing he heard go.

As he watched the snow fall, he remembered something he heard as he eavesdropped with Mary and Lily's conversation.

Remus and Mary's relationship status.

"Hey, Moony!" he said, trying his hardest to steer his thoughts away, he could use some distraction at the moment.

"What?" asked Remus after a moment as Sirius won the game.

"What's up with you and Mary?" As he said it, Sirius let out a whoop of interest and said,

"Yeah, you went to Hogsmeade together, right?" asked Sirius and anticipation was clear in his voice and James' eyebrows were rising. Remus rolled his eyes exasperatedly but didn't answer them. When the silence from Remus lengthened, James sighed and said,

"Oh come on, Moony! Are you dating or not?"

"No," answered Remus simply. James and Sirius sighed and shook their heads.

"Yeah, right. You went to Hogsmeade together!" said Sirius as James nodded his agreement.

Remus chuckled softly. "We're just friends, I'm tutoring her actually and it was Hogsmeade weekend, so, I figured that we could do the tutoring in the village so we couldn't miss the fun," he said as he opened a book and began reading it.

"What? You liked her!" said James. Remus looked up from his book, looking irritated because of disturbing him while reading.

"Yes I did, but it was nothing, it was just a little crush," said Remus as a faint flush crept up

"What? What do you mean?" asked Sirius and James could only look at Remus, bewildered. Just a crush? But that was for first years.

"That's for first years!" said Sirius as Remus rolled his eyes.

"It is nothing more than a crush. And she really needs tutoring in her Potions work," said Remus, his tone making it clear that he should not be disturbed while he cheek and he quickly looked back down his book.

So, James was back to his same boring day. With his distraction gone, he thoughts went back to Lily. The day passed by, with Remus reading as Sirius and James stared at everything inside their dormitory.

The whole week passed, with the three Marauders occasionally sneaking out to the kitchens or roaming around the castle. Lily came back before term started but James made no effort to approach or talk to her and he was glad that she, too, was avoiding him. Occasionally, their eyes would meet but the two would quickly look away.

During breakfast, as term started, James was interrupted by a nudge in the ribs. He looked up to see Sirius pointing down the Gryffindor table, towards Lily Evans and Mary Macdonald's seat. He wondered what was he supposed to look at and he turned to Sirius with raised eyebrows. Is this some kind of plot to get him to talk to Lily again? Because Sirius has been bugging him about it for ages.

Only it wasn't a plot because he saw a tall boy, with blond hair and blue eyes, making his way towards Lily's seat from the Ravenclaw table. Ethan Sparks, a seventh-year prefect and Quidditch captain. He was quite handsome and a nice bloke.

It felt like his blood was boiling in anger as jealousy crept up inside him. He saw Sparks take a seat beside Lily. They seemed to be having a conversation. He grinned at her and James was bewildered to see Lily grinning back. He clenched his fist and glared at the sight, jealousy was already filling him. Unable to take it anymore, he stood up and walked towards them. Sparks was about to say something to Lily when he stopped in front of them and coughed pointedly.

Sparks and Lily looked up at him. He chanced a glance at Lily and saw something in her expression that he couldn't put a finger on. He willed his eyes away from her and stared at Sparks who greeted him.

"Hey James-" but his greeting was soon cut off by James.

"Oi, _Sparks,_" and Sparks winced at the toughness in his voice, "You're a Ravenclaw, right? Not a Gryffindor, so if I were you, I'd go back to my House Table right now, unless you want detention," he said, trying to put as much authority that he could muster. He could feel the other Gryffindors staring at him but he didn't look at them to see their expression, though he guessed they were shocked, for this was the first time that James acted like an authority figure.

Sparks glared at him and gave him a curt nod as he stood up and made his way to the Ravenclaw table. And without a glance or a word to Lily he went out of the Great Hall, scowling. He needed to keep a close watch on him or he might ask Lily out, and he couldn't risk that happening. Yes, you can say that he's a bit possessive, but he, James avoiding Lily doesn't necessarily mean that he stopped liking her.

He made his way towards the Transfiguration classroom and sat on the back of the room. The rest of the class arrived after a few minutes and he saw Sirius sit beside him. He watched Lily as she entered the room and took her usual seat in the front of the class.

Avoiding her seemed to be much harder now, what with Sparks going after her, the urge to talk to her and be her friend again was becoming stronger and stronger. The class soon started and James paid no attention at all as his mind formed some kind of argument between two things.

Be friends with Lily again and live with the fact that they'll only be friends or continue avoiding her and watch her go out with Sparks.

Both would be bad for him. If he stayed friends with Lily he'll have to live with the fact that they'll only be friends but if he avoided her, he'll have to endure the fact that Sparks would eventually ask her out and Lily would be likely to accept it. Sparks was a nice bloke and James was nice to him… until he decided to like Lily Evans. In Lily's standards, she'll probably think that Sparks was way better than him.

He was in Ravenclaw, which only means that he, too, was smart, though James was smart too. He was Quidditch Captain and was as good as James. He was a lot nicer than James and he couldn't help but think that Lily would agree to go out with him.

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't even understand the stuff that Sirius was telling him and he made no effort to ask Sirius to clarify them either. After a few minutes, Sirius finally gave up on the idea of talking to him and stayed unusually quiet throughout the whole class.

Transfiguration and Charms passed by in a dash as James was still preoccupied by his thoughts. So, as everybody went down to the Great Hall for lunch, he made a quick stop at his dormitory and grabbed the Marauder's Map from his trunk to look for Ethan Sparks' dot.

To his delight, he was nowhere near Lily, who was in the Great Hall. He found Sparks' dot in the Library. He muttered, "Mischief Managed," and tapped the parchment with his wand as the ink began to fade. He tossed it in his trunk and ran out of his dormitory.

He ran to the Library, ignoring the portraits' shouts and complaints of loud footsteps. When he entered the Library, he spotted him immediately. He was sitting at a table near bookshelves reading their Transfiguration book, _"Transfiguration through the Ages."_ James didn't know why many people have trouble in this subject, but like flying, his talent in transfiguration came naturally to him.

He walked slowly towards Sparks, pulled the chair beside him, and sat down. Sparks gave him a questioning look before returning back to reading his book.

"Hey," he said to catch Sparks' attention again.

"Hey?" answered Sparks, his tone making it clear that he still haven't forgotten what he did a while ago, during breakfast.

"Listen… can I talk to you?"

Sparks nodded curtly. James took a deep breath; he couldn't see how he could explain to him to stay away from Lily _nicely_.

"Ethan, Listen…" but his voice trailed off. How would he tell him to stay away from Lily without picking up a fight, especially in the library?

"What do you want, James? Just this morning you were glaring at me like I was some Slytherin you hate, but now you're talking to me,"

James sighed. "Lily," he stated simply and he felt anger rise inside him when Sparks chuckled humorlessly.

"What about her?" he asked as a hint of a smirk became evident on his face.

"You know, I'm going to be straight: Get away from her," he hissed, no longer holding on to his patience.

Sparks' smirk became more pronounced. "Now, why would I do that?"

"Get away from her," he hissed again, but this time he made sure that his voice was filled with hatred as his hand twitched towards his wand.

"Look, it's your fault. I've been waiting for you to back of for ages and now that you have, do you really think that I'll let that opportunity pass just like that?" he hissed back, with that, he stood up, grabbed his books and left. He grabbed his wrist to prevent him from leaving. If they weren't in the library, James probably would've hexed him right now.

"I'm just going to say this _one last time,_ _Sparks,_" he said, his voice filled with venom as he glared at Sparks. "Get away from her _or_ _else_."

"Or else- what, Potter? Just because you can't get her to go out with you, doesn't mean that _I _can't, Potter," he said and wrenched his wrist free from James' grasp. James just stood there, horrified. How could he stop Sparks from asking Lily out? He knows that he's actually acting like an over-protective git but he really couldn't help it. Hell, he's actually acting like Lily's boyfriend but actually he's not, he's just this bloke who's poring over her for ages.

He thought of someone who could help him. Sirius? No, he'll probably make fun of him and convince him to talk to Lily again, not that he wasn't considering that idea now. Remus? No, he's too smart, and he actually can't think that he could take his lectures now, it tends to get boring actually, besides, Remus doesn't know much about girls, he just advices him to drop his attitude.

Then his answer came to him. Mary! Of course, she would be perfect. She's a girl, so obviously she'll know about what he'll do and she's Lily best friend. He's sure that she'll know what to do and help him somehow.

So he rushed back to the Great Hall, hoping that Mary was still there. He searched the Gryffindor table for her; he noticed that the Marauders were nowhere to be seen and James doesn't have the time to ponder where they could've gone. To his delight, he found Mary still there, just leaving her seat.

He grabbed her arm to stop her and Mary, upon seeing his worried expression gave him a questioning look.

"Mary, I need your help," he said.

"My help? For what?" asked Mary.

"Listen, you know Ethan Sparks, right?" he asked and Mary nodded and began to say, "He talked-" but James cut her off. "Good…"

And he told Mary about his dilemma. By the end of his speech, Mary was shaking her head. James was confused by her actions.

"What?" he asked.

"James, if you don't want Ethan to ask her out, why don't you just talk to her?"

"Well… I- I can't tell you… Just- will you help me please?" pleaded James. Mary seemed to be considering something and there was a smile on her face. The smile was confusing because James couldn't see why she was smiling at this time. But before he could voice his confusion, Mary agreed.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?"

The next day, during Charms with Ravenclaws, James saw Lily and Mary seating on a table together and James sat from two seats behind them. He watched Lily reading her book for a while. He glared at Sparks as he entered the classroom and made his way to Lily and Mary's table.

He gave Mary a meaningful look and she nodded. Just as Sparks was a few steps away from their table, Mary grabbed a Ravenclaw girl, with brown hair tied up into a ponytail, randomly and pushed her down to the remaining seat, leaving no space for Sparks.

"Sorry, Ethan. This seat's taken," said Mary at a disgruntled Sparks and James couldn't help but smirk at him as Sparks glared back. This was actually fun.

The whole day passes by so quickly, with Mary still getting Ethan away from Lily during classes, lunch, free period.

James was really satisfied as he sat in his dormitory, reading _Quidditch through the Ages._ He was alone with Sirius in the dormitory as Remus was helping Mary with her Potions essay in the common room and Peter studied with them.

"Come on, James," said Sirius. "Let's just go down to the common room with the others."

"No, you go," said James. He knew that Sirius just wanted him to talk to Lily again, because Lily was there in the common room and who knows how awkward it could get?

"Fine," said Sirius. He didn't really want to go anywhere without James because they barely saw each other today. They just sat there for a few minutes, as James started to work on his DADA homework and Sirius looked out from their window.

"Why don't you just talk to Evans?" asked Sirius, looking for something to do.

"I just can't," answered James shortly. He could see Sirius shaking his head.

"Why?" he pressed on.

"I don't know…" actually he knew it was a bit childish, which was one of the factors that Lily hates about him but what else could he do? He just couldn't fool himself that he still had a chance. "I'm too embarrassed, I guess."

"Why?" he asked again.

James sighed exasperatedly. "You know why," he said. Sirius nodded and, to James' delight, said no more on the subject.

"You know what?" said Sirius, his voice full of impatience.

"What?" asked James looking up from his essay.

Sirius sighed and in a dash, pulled out his wand and muttered, _"Mobiliarbus!"_

"Hey!" he complained as his feet hovered, inches from the floor. "Get me down Sirius!"

"Thinking, thinking…" he said, putting on falsely concentrating expression as he stroked his chin, "No, I don't think I will," said Sirius in a cheery voice.

James glared at him as Sirius led him to the staircase with his wand, down to the common room. It was almost empty, except for the group of people by the fireplace and Sirius led him towards them.

"What're you guys doing?" asked Remus.

"Ah, I'm just getting Prongs to get down here. The more the merrier!" said Sirius as he let James hover in mid-air for a moment.

"Sirius _Let me down!_" he growled, "I was doing my essay!"

"And there's no better place to do it than here!" remarked Sirius happily.

"But my essay's in the dormitories, you idiot!" said James, glaring at Sirius as the others returned to their work and paid no attention to them. Except for Lily who didn't looked up from her work at all.

Sirius sighed and with a flick of his wand, Sirius dropped James on an armchair across Lily.

"_Accio, _James' Essay!" Sure enough, James' essay and quill zoomed towards them. The parchment and the quill landed on the table in front of James. He stared at it for a moment as irritation bubbled inside him.

"How would _I_ do my essay? You didn't get me the ink!" he said and Sirius chuckled softly.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" said Sirius and something in his voice made James think that he did it on purpose. He glared at Sirius, who only smiled back. "Here, you can share with Evans," he said. James immediately felt his face heat up as Sirius grabbed the ink bottle from Lily and placed it in front of them, in the middle of the table, so the two could have access with it.

"Hey, give that back!" said Lily as she tried to snatch the ink bottle back but Sirius shoved her hand away. Lily glared menacingly at him though James was surprised to see that her cheeks turned pink.

"What?" said James in a deadly calm voice as he turned a faint shade of pink, but Sirius was not intimidated, instead, he just smirked at him.

"Do you want to finish your essay or not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

James stared at his half-done essay, which he really needed to finish now. He considered the moment. He was only going to share the ink, right? He didn't have to talk to her, so it wouldn't be awkward at all. He could feel Lily's eyes on him as he considered.

"Fine," he said and dipped his quill in the ink bottle. As he began to write, Remus yawned hugely. James looked up at him.

"I guess I should go to bed," he said to Mary and she nodded, then he turned to Sirius. "Coming, Sirius, Peter?" he asked.

"Sure," said Sirius and Peter nodded. "'Night, Prongs!" and the three stood up and strode off to the staircase.

James began to work silently in his essay. After a few minutes, he heard Mary yawn hugely.

"I think I'm going to bed, See you later," she said to Lily, then she waved at James and walked off to the girls' dormitory. James looked back at Lily and their eyes locked.

"I guess it's only the two of us here," muttered Lily as she looked down.

"Yeah," said James as he got back to work too.

"You know, if you're going to get Ethan Sparks away from me, you'll have to do a better job," stated Lily. James was taken aback, did she mean…? No, of course, she doesn't, _right? _James looked at her and saw that she was looking straight into his eyes and James couldn't do anything but to look back.

"What do you mean?" asked James, beginning to get nervous.

Lily let out a soft chuckle and James was staring at her incredulously. Why the hell was she _chuckling?_

"He already asked me, you know-" she said quietly. James' face fell and a small, "Oh," escaped his lips. Of course, she'll say yes-

But his thoughts were interrupted when she continued her sentence, "-and I said 'no',"

James' insides seemed to be screaming with happiness. She said no! That could've been the best sentence in the world, if it's not directed to him, of course.

"Really, why? When?" he tried to keep the happiness from his voice, but didn't quite manage it. He just hoped that Lily didn't notice the happiness in his voice.

Lily shrugged, leaving James to ponder why Lily didn't agree to go out with him. Ethan Sparks was a nice bloke, even he admits it. So, why did she refuse?

"He asked during lunch yesterday…" she said, leaving James confused.

"But… Mary- Why? Huh?" he asked. Why did Mary agreed to help him if she knew that Sparks already asked Lily out, why did she even agree to help him out? Couldn't she just tell him that "Don't worry, Lily turned him down,"?

To his surprise, Lily laughed. "Oh that, she said it was really funny to see you like that," she said and James started laughing, their essays completely forgotten. He actually missed this, having conversations with Lily without shouting at each other. Then suddenly, he remembered with a jolt, who he was talking to: Lily Evans. But surely, this was okay, right? Just one conversation won't hurt, right?

But just to be sure, his let his laughter fade and started on his work again. After a few seconds, Lily's laughter quieting and for a moment, there was a long lapse of silence, where the scratching of their quills were the only sound that was heard. After a few minutes, the sound of Lily's quill stopped and for a second he thought that she was done. She was really fast in these things, after all. He wasn't even finished yet. But then she asked something that made his attention steer away from his essay.

"Can I ask you something?" she said, seriousness was dripping with every word she said as she eyed him.

"What?" he asked as curiosity overwhelmed him.

"Why are you avoiding me?" the question completely caught James off guard. What would he answer_? I heard you saying that we were only friends and because of that stupid outburst and because I love you?_ Yeah, that will be a great answer, except for the fact that Lily might hex him to oblivion if he said that.

Unable to think of something to answer, he just shrugged and returned to his work, though this time, he was finding it hard to concentrate.

"Is that because of that patrol night?" she asked.

James hesitated. Then he finally looked at her and nodded shortly. Lily just raised her eyebrows, as if expecting him to elaborate more. James finally sighed.

"Look, could we just…" James thought of a possible solution. "Forget that it ever happened?" he asked. Now, he just felt stupid, why didn't he think of that before?

"Good, 'cause I don't want to remember it either." Said Lily as she smiled at him and James felt a grin tug on his face.

"Deal?" said James, holding out his hand.

"Deal," said Lily, reaching out to shake his hand. As soon as her hand made contact with his, he felt goosebumps erupt from it. Lily quickly let go of his hand and James could feel that his hand's temperature was a little higher than the other parts of his body.

"I'm finished, you can give me back my ink bottle tomorrow, 'night, _James_," she said as she stood up, gathered her things and walked away. James looked taken aback for a moment, then his mouth spread into a grin. Lily Evans called him _James_! James waved at her, still grinning.

"G'Night, _Lily_," he said and Lily beamed at him.

He couldn't believe this, he was actually friends with Lily again and all it took was a friendly conversation. Now that he though of it, he really _was_ acting like a child. Besides, if they become close friends, she might forget that bloke she likes. Now that he thought of it, maybe that bloke was really the reason why she refused to go out with Sparks. But this time, he didn't care if they were just friends, being friends was still better than nothing, right?

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**Sorry for not updating in almost two weeks when many of you requested to update sooner, anyway, did you like it or hate it? Just review please! I'd really appreciate it if you point out some faults, just do it nicely, please! :D**


	10. Spin The Bottle!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews, especially to ****KatyCullen09 ****and ****BettyCrocker**** who always reviews every chapter!**

**Read and Review!**

**-imsonotagirl93 ;)**

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**Chapter 10: Spin the Bottle**

James finished his essay after almost an hour. He gathered his things and Lily's ink bottle and climbed the staircase sleepily. He opened the door to their dormitory, yawning hugely, to see his roommates already sleeping.

Sirius was spread-eagled on his bed, his mouth wide open, snoring loudly. Remus was hidden in his blankets, he could hear his soft breathing and Peter was curled up on his bed, he, too, was snoring, though not as loud as Sirius. He flopped down on his bed and he wondered how he could sleep in a room full of noise and snores. But he soon realized that the snores weren't the only reason why he couldn't sleep. No, there was another reason and, as usual, it was none other than Lily Evans.

Every time he tried to close his eyes, Lily's smiling face appeared. He tossed and turned in bed, but when he finally fell asleep, he made sure that he was thinking of only one girl.

The weeks passed by and you could tell that it was a very, _very_, busy week for James. What with Quidditch Practice five times a week (for the second game for the season was soon approaching and it was against Ravenclaw, for James, in other words, the match will be against him and Ethan Sparks) and homework, he hardly had time to sleep.

The pressure seemed to be dawning on his team because the more the match comes to a near, the more nervous they seemed to play. James could tell because they were having more and more injuries each day.

It was the day before their match and the team was in their locker rooms, James giving the usual pep talk before the match. He was glad that there were fewer injuries today and the team played pretty well today, though the nervousness was still evident.

"Okay, just fly like you did today and we'll be fine tomorrow, but fly better tomorrow, alright?" he said bracingly. The team nodded as one.

"We'll do it, James," said Josaine, his trusted beater.

"Don't worry, Prongs, we won the bloody Cup almost every year, there's really nothing to worry about," said Sirius, as they made their way from the Quidditch Pitch, back to the castle, patting him on the shoulder.

James gave him a look that clearly says, "You're not helping."

"That's just it! It would be a shame if we wouldn't win it now!" said James disgruntled.

"Oh, come on! We have the best team ever! Nothing could go wrong!" said Sirius. Let's just hope that he didn't jinx that.

"Yeah…" he mumbled. "Let's just hope that the weather would be better than this tomorrow," he added as heavy rain poured down from the sky.

They made their way to Gryffindor, sopping wet and covered with mud, narrowly avoiding Filch. When they entered the common room, they found Remus, Mary and Lily in the common room. Seeing their disgruntled expressions their eyebrows rose.

"Hey, Lily," said James and Lily smiled at him. It was really great that they started calling each other by their first names. It took time to get used to it though, since they spent almost all their years at Hogwarts calling each other as "Potter" and "Evans".

"What happened to you two?" asked Mary.

James shrugged and headed to his dormitory to dry off, clearly not in the mood.

"What's with him?" he heard Remus ask.

He heard Sirius sigh. "Pre-match jitters," he answered and James could almost see the girls shaking their heads.

James opened the door to their dormitory and began to change his clothes. When he was done, he reluctantly carried his bag downstairs. He didn't really want to do his homework right now but with the match on Saturday, he'll barely have time to complete the workload of homework that he have.

So he made his way down the stairs sleepily as the fatigue because of training took over him. He sank down on the only available seat by the fireplace, and luckily, it was beside Lily Evans.

He started his Herbology essay, yawning hugely.

"You're not done with that yet?" asked Remus and James glared at him.

"I have Quidditch practice, Moony," said James as he yawned again.

"You know, I don't get it. Why do you care about Quidditch so much? It's just a sport, right?" said Lily as Mary and Remus nodded in agreement. James looked up at her in bewilderment.

"Just a sport? _Just a sport?_" asked Sirius incredulously, staring wide-eyed at Lily.

"Well it is!" said Mary.

"It's not just a sport! It's Quidditch!" retorted James, his essay forgotten.

"But all it does is form rift between other Houses," Remus pointes out.

"You know what? You're the only guy that I know who doesn't like Quidditch," said James, "Even Peter likes Quidditch, and he doesn't even play!"

"I know Quidditch is a great sport and all-" said Lily.

"Our point exactly," said Sirius.

"-but don't you think you're too obsessed with Quidditch?" continued Lily.

"Hmph,"

"You can never be too obsessed with Quidditch," stated James and Lily didn't answer him, knowing that there's no point in arguing with him now.

James returned to his essay, trying his best to concentrate on it, not on the girl beside him. He was trying to resist the urge to wrap his arms around her. Trying to distract himself from such actions, he looked for something to ask Remus about.

"Where's Peter?" he asked him, noticing that their friend was nowhere to be seen in the common room.

"Detention," stated Remus simply.

"Again? What did he do now?" asked James as he continued to write on his essay.

"His potion blew up… again," said Remus, "He nearly poisoned everyone in class."

"Typical," muttered James. "Why doesn't he drop the subject, then? I thought, after all he went through last year, he would've dropped it."

"His mother want him to take Potions remember?" said Sirius.

"Oh… yeah," said James as he remembered Peter telling them that during fifth year. He didn't know what else to say. So he started on his essay again, willing his eyelids to stay open. It was late in the night and Remus, Lily and Mary already retired to their dormitories. Sirius was only waiting for James to finish.

"Come on, James… are you planning to stay up all night? We have a competition tomorrow!" complained Sirius.

"Just wait alright?" said James, his words slurred as he fought through his consciousness. He yawned again as finished writing his conclusion.

"There I'm done," said James, his still came out slurred and he yawned again. He saw yawn and rest his head on his upturned palm as he closed his eyes.

"Great," said Sirius, jerking awake from the armchair he was sitting on, "I thought I was going to sleep here!"

James grabbed his bag and stuffed his things inside it. The two walked to their dormitory sleepily, their eyes half-open. When they reached their dormitory, James staggered to his bed, nearly falling to the floor. He crashed into his bed fully clothed, not even bothering to remove his glasses. He didn't even know if Sirius made it to bed. He thought he heard a faint crash, but maybe he just imagined it. He barely noticed the loud lightning from outside or the rain pouring heavily on the window, making loud splattering noises.

Luckily, he trusts Remus to wake him up early in the morning.

He didn't know why or what exactly woke him up. He didn't know if it was the lightning or the loud snores of Sirius, which seemed to be coming from the floor or the nerves because of the match. All he knew was that he woke up in the early hours of the morning.

He tried to get back to his sleep but it was too late. The realization that _today_, just after a few hours, would be their Quidditch match against Ravenclaw and if they lose this match, they _might _go out of the running. He doesn't normally freak out like this during Quidditch Matches, but it's just that the stress of being a seventh year was taking its toll on him.

He just lay in bed for a few hours, waiting for the sun to rise. When the sun did shine, he got up only to come back crashing, face down to the floor as he tripped over Sirius' for at the foot of his bed. This made Sirius jerk awake.

"Sirius- what the _hell _are you doing there on the floor?" he said exasperatedly as he pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Sleeping," answered Sirius simply as he, too, sat up gingerly. Spending the night on the floor wasn't comfortable at all.

"What? Why there?" asked James incredulously, "you have a bed! Bed's are for sleeping, not floors!"

"Well, it's not my fault that you stayed up all night!" said Sirius, standing up, holding out a hand to help James up. James grabbed his hand and stand up.

"Come on," mumbled James as he changed his clothes, Sirius followed his lead. They left the room and headed down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. Fortunately, for James, food can always relax his nerves.

He and Sirius sat down on the Gryffindor Table as applause from the few people in the table followed them. Soon they were joined by the other Gryffindor Quidditch Team each of them followed by applauses by the Gryffindors and some of the Hufflepuffs and some boos from the Slytherins.

In what seems like no time at all, it was time to go to the changing rooms. Nobody spoke as the team changed into their Quidditch robes. They heard the chatter and footsteps of the crowd as they made their way to the Quidditch Pitch. It was like a thousand worms were now living in his stomach, wriggling inside it. He knew it was a gross thing to think of, but he sure feels like that now. He just hoped that he didn't eat too much breakfast.

Soon, it was time to get out of the changing rooms. He gestured for his team to follow him and they walked behind him wordlessly in single file. They met up with the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, wearing blue and bronze robes.

It was raining heavily and the crowd even bought their own umbrellas and coats. James pulled out his wand from his pocket and muttered, _"Impervious,"_ so he could see clearly through the rain, and returned his wand in his pocket again.

The Captains, James and Ethan, shook hands, glaring at each other, for them, this wasn't just a fight for the Quidditch Cup.

"Mount your brooms," said Madam Hooch and James mounted his, still eyeing Sparks who was glaring at him.

"And… _They're off_!" said the commentator as the fourteen players flew up in the air. "And its Justin Wood with the Quaffle- watch out for that bludger! - Oooh, and that's the Ravenclaw chaser, Ethan Sparks with the quaffle. I heard he asked Lily Evans out, but of course, with James Potter there-" the commentator was immediately silenced by a glare from James as the girls from the crowd giggled.

Then he turned around, but as soon as he did, he saw that a bludger was making its way towards him, hit by the Ravenclaw beater, Adrian Chang. He pulled into a dive and he felt the bludger pass just above his head. He raced to the other side of the pitch where Sparks was already zooming to the Gryffindor's side of the goal post.

James flew between alongside Sparks, Justin and Eirene trailing behind him. Sparks tried to pass the quaffle to his fellow chaser, but James snatched it with his arm before it even reached Sparks' teammate.

He steered his broom to go back to the Ravenclaw goal posts. "And that's Potter with the quaffle, he passes to Williams, she passes to Wood, he's aiming and…. HE SCORES! Ten-zero to Gryffindor!"

The Gryffindor stands roared and screamed. James could see Lily and Mary clapping, wide grins were on their faces. "That's Anderson of Ravenclaw with the quaffle now- OH! - He gets hit with a bludger! That's Williams in possession; she dodges the bludger, she passes the quaffle to Potter, he passes it back to Williams- AW! - Anderson intercept it, he passes to Sparks."

Sparks was heading to the Gryffindor goalpost and James was flying alongside him. He tried to grab the quaffle from Sparks but he passes it to Goldstein, his fellow chaser. Then he passes back to Sparks. His fellow chasers were flying alongside him.

"That's Sparks in possession now, he aims and he scores!" said the commentator. Suddenly James felt something make contact with the back of his head. It was like having a hammer thrown at him. The roars of the crowd were turned from delight to screams and gasps of horror.

He felt a blinding pain from the back of his head… the wind rushing through him… he heard the horrified screams of the crowd… until he heard nothing anymore.

He didn't know where he was or how he got there. The bed he was lying in was soft. He then suddenly remembered why he was there. The Quidditch Match.

He opened his eyes gingerly, only to see the blurred outlines of his teammates. His hand groped around for his glasses, but someone handed it to him, he put it on and blinked a few times until his vision cleared.

The Gryffindor team, covered with was looking worriedly at him and he smiled weakly and the whole team smiled back, it was a smile of relief but there was still something strained about it. He suddenly remembered what was happening just a few hours ago and his face fell. He propped himself up by his elbows and sat up.

"The match?" he asked, wanting to know what happen but not wanting to hear it at the same time. His teammates looked worriedly at each other before turning back to him.

"Well, you got hit by a Bludger, so we… _lost_" began Kathleen Knight, his keeper. A growl began to form in his throat. "It was an accident, really," she added, before James could say anything harsh.

"And the score?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly. It all depends on the score, if they lose by too much it might be impossible for them to still be in the running. No one answered for a while; no one seemed to have the courage to. After a few minutes, Sirius finally spoke up.

"160-10, their Seeker just caught the Snitch when you fell, well, we're all distracted, really. Finn and I were racing after you," said Sirius and James closed his eyes and slumped back in his bed. They lost by 150 fifty points, making them third in the running, just below Ravenclaw, Slytherin ranking first after they flattened Hufflepuff. If Ravenclaw beat Slytherin in their next match, they might still have a chance; they just have to win by about 150 points.

Suddenly the irritated voice of Madam Pomfrey was heard and James' eyes snapped open. "Out! _Out!_ This boy needs rest, out!" she said as he shooed the whole Gryffindor Team away, Sirius gave him a wink before he was shoved out of the doorway, which only meant that he would soon receive a _very_ late night visit from the Marauders.

Madam Pomfrey walked over to him, muttering about the dangers of Quidditch and brooms as he poured a potion into a goblet, which he handed to James.

"Dreamless Sleep Potion, you could do with some sleep," she said and James obeyed immediately, it was better to be asleep than to stare at nothing in the Hospital Wing. As soon as he drank it, he felt drowsiness and his eyelids began to droop as it was suddenly heavy. In a matter of seconds, dreamless sleep engulfed him…

"Sssshh… you'll wake him up, Padfoot!" he heard a very familiar stern voice from above him.

"Well, that's what we're here for, isn't it?" said another familiar voice.

"You'll wake Madam Pomfrey!" said another familiar squeaky voice.

"Oh- Oh, yeah. _Muffliato!_" whispered the second voice.

James opened his eyes to see the blurred figures of his friends. He saw Peter's outline get his glasses from the bedside table and handed it to him. He took it and shoved it on his eyes. He looked up to see Sirius holding a piece of parchment and his reliable Invisibility Cloak.

Remus was holding bottles of butterbeers and Peter was carrying loads of Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. He didn't know if he should feel happy right now, they just lost the match and he wasn't in the mood for a party right now.

"Why are you here?" asked James, sitting up, already knowing the answer, as he looked at the wide grins of his friends.

"Well, we wanted to cheer you up a bit," said Sirius shoving the parchment inside his pocket and folding the Cloak into a neat square before shoving it too inside his pocket. Remus and Peter placed the butterbeers and the candies on the bedside table. James wasn't really in the mood right now, but since it was only the Marauders, his trusted friends, he gave in.

A week passed by with James sulking, he still hasn't gotten over their defeat against Ravenclaw.

"Why are you so bothered, anyway?" asked Lily, as they walked through the corridors during their patrol.

"Why am I bothered?" he said, sounding as if Lily mortally offended him, and Lily shook her head. "It's Quidditch! We lost!"

"Yeah, I know it's a loss, but it's been a week, James! Don't you think you're a little overreacting?" she said.

"No, I am not overreacting. It totally ruined the chances to win the Cup. Besides, you can't understand, you don't love Quidditch too much," he argued.

He could almost see Lily rolling her eyes. When they reached the Gryffindor Common Room, as usual, Remus, Sirius, Peter and Mary were still there. Now that the second term started, the work for the seventh years became more and more toxic, so almost everyday, the Gryffindor seventh years often were the last ones to leave the common room during the late hours of the night.

James and Lily walked over towards them. James was glad that he finished his load of homework a while ago, so all he needs to do know is _sulk_ because they lost the match. He was really nervous, if Ravenclaw beats Slytherin, then they might still be in the running, _but_ if Slytherin beats Ravenclaw, then they were out of the running and Slytherins win the Cup.

James groaned at the thought of his team out of the running, finishing third. It was so unlike his team to finish third, they always win the cup. He buried his head in his hands, trying to think of a way a training that would make them more likely to win, but then he remembered that this was his last year as Quidditch Captain. He groaned again, the sound a bit muffled for his head was still in his hands.

"You know what? Maybe we should play a little game, you know, just to relieve the _tension_?" said Sirius in a tone that James only knew too well and he looked up. _What was he planning now?_ He asked to himself.

"What?" asked James suspiciously as the rest agreed a little too happily. He had a feeling that they were all in on this, except him and Lily of course.

He caught Lily's eyes and saw that she was looking suspicious too at Sirius' mischievous smile.

"What game?" Lily demanded, raising her eyebrows as the rest formed a circle on the center of the common room two spaces were left for James and Lily still haven't left their seats.

"Come on, you guys! Don't ruin the fun!" said Mary in a cheery voice.

"It's just a game! Nothing could go wrong!" said Remus and Peter nodded excitedly.

"Fine," they both grumbled and walked over to their circle, James sat on the space besides Sirius and Lily sat in between Peter and Mary. James saw Lily looking warily at Sirius and James couldn't blame her, every time Sirius has a grin like that, it means nothing good.

"What game do you want to play Black?" said Lily, even though she was finally calling him James, she still hasn't called Sirius, Sirius yet, it seems like he was the only Marauder that Lily calls by his surname.

"Spin the Bottle, of course!" answered Sirius in a sing song voice as he pulled out a clear glass bottle in the middle of their circle. Before James or Lily could complain, Sirius continued to talk. "Well, you know the rules," he said with a wink and without warning he said, "Hey Evans, you can spin the bottle!"

"What? No way," complained Lily.

"Oh come on, Evans!" pleaded Sirius.

"No," she stated simply, her voice making it clear that it was her final answer as she crossed her arms across her chest.

Giving up, Sirius turned to James with a very mischievous smile and James rolled his eyes. "James?"

James looked nervously at the others. What if it stopped on Lily? It would totally ruin their friendship but the chances the bottle stopping at Lily was not that good, seeing as there were six of them.

"Fine," he grumbled. He grabbed the bottle and spun it, hard; hoping that the force that he put into it would stop it from pointing across from him. The bottle began to spin fast and James had his eyes on it nervously, he would rather kiss a Marauder right now than to ruin his friendship with Lily Evans.

Apparently, luck was nowhere near him, or maybe it was, as the bottle began to slow down and funnily enough, it stopped near Lily Evans. They looked at each other, shocked, their eyes almost as wide as galleons.

"Wow, what a surprise! Looks like you have to snog James before snogging the Giant Squid after all, Evans!" said Sirius. James was so shocked that he didn't even turn to glare at Sirius.

James and Lily were now staring transfixed at each other, the same shocked expression mirroring each other's faces.

"Oh come on, it's just a game right?" came Sirius' voice and soon he was being dragged to the center of the circle by Sirius and Remus and Lily was being dragged by Peter and Mary. He knew it! He knew this was all Sirius' plan!

"No, no, no, wait! _Sirius, this isn't funny_!" he said threateningly, he could hear Lily complaining with him. Actually, half of him wanted to actually go up willingly to her and snog her senseless but of course, his mature side said he shouldn't.

"Of course, it isn't, James," said Sirius still grinning, but James didn't have time to respond for Sirius, Remus, Peter and Mary shoved them together, their lips meeting. Lily face was much too close; it was as if he was being thrown into her green eyes. His mature self was begging him to get away but he was dreaming for a moment like this for years. Neither of them made a move to get away from each other, for some reason.

Just as his eyes were about to close, he remembered who he was with and what are the consequences if he didn't stop. Reluctantly, he pulled away and for a wild moment he asked himself, _how the hell did his arms went around Lily's waist?_ Their friends were nowhere to be seen, which only confirmed James' suspicion that all of them were in on this.

They disentangled themselves from each other awkwardly. "I- I… Sorry," mumbled James and began to walk away, knowing that his friendship with Lily was over. To his surprise, someone grabbed him around the wrist and spun him around. He was surprised to see that that certain someone was Lily Evans.

"Look… I don't want to ruin any friendship so, could we just… I don't know forget it ever happened?" she said, a small smile on her face. Something in that smile made him think that she wasn't going to let this go that easily.

"Sure, er- G'night," said James with a small wave.

"'Night," said Lily and with that they both turned their backs to each other and headed for their respective dormitories.

As soon as he entered their dormitory, the grin slipped off of his face as he rounded at the grinning Sirius.

"Sirius! You jinxed that bottle, didn't you? You jinxed it so it would stop at Lily Evans!" said James angrily but Sirius just grinned back at him.

"Come on, James, you can't honestly tell me that you didn't enjoy it!" said Sirius.

James just stared at him, unable to answer. Instead, he headed to his four-poster, pulled the hangings around the bed to a close and lied there, pondering.

The truth is, if he asked himself, he did enjoy it. He didn't actually expect his first kiss to be like that but he _did _expect it to be with the one and only Lily Evans. He knew it was wrong, but the feeling of her lips on his was just so… _right._

With this thought, he turned over and slept, his mind too preoccupied for him to listen to the Marauders whispering frantically.

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**So, it's been five days, yay, I updated sooner than before! Did you love it or hated it? If you see something you don't like and faults, please point it out, just do it nicely!**

**Review please! ;)**


	11. Youre supposed to be my What?

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything ;)**

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**As usual, please Read and Review and Constructive Criticisms are very much appreciated. Hope you'll like this chapter!**

**-imsonotagirl93 ;)**

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**Chapter 11: You're supposed to be My What?**

The kiss they shared formed a slight rift between James and Lily. Well, they still speak to each other, much to his delight, but when they do, there was an air of awkwardness present every time they do, making their conversations civil, _not_ friendly, like they used to. The two would only talk about homework, head duties and nothing else. Well, except for the day after they played spin the bottle, where Lily planted dungbombs in Sirius' bed as he slept, no girls were walking with him to classes that day.

Soon enough, it was five days before Valentine's Day and for the first time; he didn't know what to do when this day comes. He can no longer ask Lily out for the rest of day, hoping to get a date from her; he can't really afford another screw up. And Sirius would sure have a date that Saturday and all Remus would do was study, especially on weekends and Peter would probably be in detention or studying with Remus.

As he sat in the common room, alone, in a Monday night, supposedly finishing his Herbology essay, he heard a _very_ flirtatious giggle, followed by a _very _flirtatious voice.

"Hey James, I was told to give you this," James turned around to see Camilla Vane holding out a purple envelope, batting her eyelashes. James took the envelope from her and opened it.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_I would be pleased to invite you to a Valentine's Day party, this Saturday, in my office at 9 o' clock pm._

_I hope to see you there!_

_Professor H. Slughorn_

Of course there would be a party; there was always a party during special events. He was distracted by another flirtatious giggle. He looked up and saw that Camilla was still there, twirling a strand of her hair on her index finger.

"What?" asked James rather rudely.

"Well, that invitation says that there will be a Valentine's Party on Saturday and Professor Slughorn said that you can bring guests, so I was wondering if you'd like to ask me, I'm free that night. At least you won't have to be rejected by Lily Evans again, I'd agree to go out with you anytime!" said Camilla in a flirty voice.

The bit about Lily made his irritation grow more. "No, I _don't_ want to take you, and if you don't know yet, Lily Evans is _way_ better than you," growled James, and he gathered his things and left, leaving a very shocked Camilla Vane behind. He heard her yell, "I don't know what he sees in that Lily Evans, I'm way prettier than her!" as her cronies of girls approached her.

James snorted as he climbed the staircase. There were a hundred reasons why Lily was better than Camilla Vane. At least Lily Evans wasn't a flirt.

He opened the door to their dormitory, to see Remus, his invitation remained close on his bed, playing exploding snap with Peter and Sirius was reading the same invitation that James received a while ago as he lied upside down in bed, his head dangling from the tip of the bed.

"You got the invitation too?" asked Sirius, getting up from his position.

"Yeah, Camilla Vane even tried to ask me out," said James, crashing onto his bed.

"What did you say?" asked Sirius.

"No," stated James simply.

"Aaw, why not? She's hot! You don't want to be a virgin forever, do you?" asked Sirius, waggling his eyebrows.

"I'm not like you Sirius," muttered James, slightly exasperated.

"I wish I could go with you," said Peter, who wasn't a member of the _Slug Club_, or that's what Slughorn calls them, anyway.

"Don't worry, Pete. It says we could bring guests," said Remus as they ended their game.

"Hey! How did you know we could bring guests? You didn't even open your invitation yet!" said Sirius.

"I read yours," said Remus.

"So, who're you going with, Prongs?" asked Peter and James sighed loudly. They have arrived at the subject of dates

"No one," said James.

"Oh come on, James! You can ask Lily out," suggested Sirius.

"Can't," he stated and the three boys raised their eyebrows.

"Why not?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah, you don't exactly know if she'll agree with you or not right? I mean, you haven't asked her out for months! Who knows? Maybe she'll finally agree," said Remus and Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"I don't want to ruin anything between us. You very nearly did, Sirius," said James exasperatedly.

"Well, I already paid for that, didn't I? I stank for the whole day after that!" said Sirius.

"Yeah James, maybe she'll agree to go out with you. You'll never know if you never try!" said Remus.

"She likes somebody already," said James.

"How'd you know?" asked Peter.

"I eavesdropped on them, remember? She said 'have you ever liked someone who doesn't like you back?' which only means that _me _is out," said James.

"Well, what if she thought that you don't like her anymore? I mean, you've been asking her out every day before, but now, you don't. Maybe she thought that you were over her," Remus reasoned. Well he does have a point but –

"Yeah right, like a guy that like her so much would stop liking her that easily. Even Professor Dumbledore knows that I like her," said James.

"Yeah, well, you really can't tell, right? You _did _stop asking her out, maybe she did thought that you got over her," said Sirius.

"Look, can we change the subject please?" asked James, unable to take this talk about his love life anymore. "Like… who're you going with, Remus? There's still Mary," suggested James.

"I already _told_ you, we are _just_ friends," said Remus exasperatedly.

"Yeah, whatever you say, Moony," said Sirius.

"Who are you going with?" James asked Sirius, sure enough, there was already someone.

"Camilla Vane, of course!" said Sirius.

"What? what did she asked me for?" said James incredulously.

"Well, I haven't asked her yet, but I'm sure she'll go with me, since you declined to go out with her," said Sirius confidently and the three boys threw a pillow at him.

Sure enough, the next morning, Sirius asked Camilla Vane to the party, in which she gladly agreed as she batted her eyelashes.

As James walked out of the Great Hall, he saw Ethan Sparks talking with Lily Evans; he didn't see Lily's expression though, for her back was turned on him. He felt his blood boil and made his way towards them, only to be dragged to the Charms classroom by Mary.

When Lily entered the classroom, though, James was glad to see that she was looking disgruntled and flushed, which only means that their conversation didn't go too well.

But his joy of Lily not enjoying a conversation with Ethan Sparks was quickly shunted away. As he went over to Lily's armchair in the common room, during free period, he was about to ask her about their Transfiguration homework when –

"Hey, Lily – " but he was soon cut off as Lily looked up with a panicked expression, flushed and quickly walked away.

"I just wanted to ask you about the Transfiguration essay!" James shouted after her as she went out of sight.

Just then, Mary entered the common room, appearing beside James. "What are you shouting about?" she asked a crestfallen James.

"I was going to ask Lily about the Transfiguration essay and… and… _She ran away from me_!" said James, throwing his arms up in exasperation. "I mean is it _wrong_ to ask for an essay? Am I some kind of monster or something? Do I look okay?" continued James, suddenly conscious of his face, touching it to make sure that its fine.

To his surprise, Mary laughed loudly beside him. He looked wildly at her. "Why the bloody hell are you laughing?" he asked, slightly disgruntled.

"Oh…" She said, trying to stop her laughter. "If only you knew," she managed to choke out in between laughs. "And your face is fine," she reassured James.

"But why - ?" he started but Mary cut him off.

"I don't think I could tell you that, try asking her," she said, looking like she was trying very hard to hold on to her laughter.

"Fine," he grumbled and left to the library, wondering why Lily has been acting so strange.

Following Mary's advice, he sat quietly beside Lily, to avoid her running away again. She was doing her homework as she ate her lunch. James was bewildered, how could she possibly study that much? Even he doesn't study like that and he was one of the best students in their year.

"Hey Lily!" he said brightly and Lily almost jumped a foot in the air.

"Hey, James," she said and James thought that there was an air of embarrassment, or was it nervousness, in the air.

"I was wondering –"he started but Lily cut him off.

"Sorry, James, I have… something to do," said Lily, still flushing heavily, and her tone made James think that she was lying. With that she strode off, out of the Great Hall.

He sat there pondering what Lily's actions could possibly mean. It was quite offending. She was avoiding him for some unknown reason. Well, he knew it was nothing bad, since Mary actually laughed when James asked her about it, but her avoiding him without even telling him what's wrong was sort of… irritating. He was ignored without even knowing what he did. Even if he liked Lily Evans, he couldn't help but to feel slightly mad at her. He never did anything, and yet here he was pondering what he could have done. He didn't bother her, right? A sudden thought came to him. What if…? No, it couldn't. But the blushing, but something tells him that it isn't. But what if it is, and what if it isn't? _Can Lily Evans really fancy him?_

Crestfallen, he ate his lunch, rather slowly. Soon, the Marauders joined him. Getting desperate, he asked Remus, since he was the only Marauder that Lily was close to, except for James of course, but know it seems like James was not close to her anymore, seeing as she was avoiding him.

"Moony, do you know why Lily's been acting weirdly?" he asked, waiting for Remus' reaction. To his surprise, Remus, like Mary, laughed.

"What? You know?" James asked his friend incredulously.

"Yeah… We've been trying to make her tell you all day!" said Remus, in between laughs. James felt disgruntled.

"How did you know? Tell me what?" asked James exasperatedly.

"Mary told me, and sorry, can't tell you," said Remus shortly.

James turned to Sirius, who was, to his relief, looking questioningly at the still laughing Remus.

"Do you know too?" asked James.

"No, I don't. How weird was Lily acting like, anyway?" asked Sirius.

"Well, a while ago, I talked to her to ask about the Transfiguration essay, and then she looked up at me like I'm some kind of Blast-Ended Skrewt or something, blushed and… ran away," said James.

"She _blushed_ and _ran away_? Hey, maybe she fancies you James. Lily Evans doesn't just blush that easily," said Sirius as he wiggled her eyebrows. This did lighten James' spirits up, but then he remembered that Lily was avoiding him right now, which really didn't help his irritation.

"No, it's definitely not," said Remus, and James' heart fell. So the theory that Lily likes him was officially proven as a non-factual statement.

"What is it?" said James, half-excited, half-nervous. Excited, because he'll know why Lily was avoiding him and nervous because, what if it was bad? What if it was something that would totally ruin their friendship? That was the one thing he was afraid of, ruining their friendship, because it seems that it was the only thing that James would have with her: friendship.

"She let something slip while she talked to Ethan," said Remus simply as he began to eat.

"What?" asked James excitedly, knowing that it wasn't something that would totally ruin their friendship.

"Sorry, I can't tell you, it's not my place to tell," said Remus. "Though I'll try my best to convince her to tell you," he added at James' scowl.

"Fine," he grumbled as he turned to Sirius to talk about their chances at Quidditch. After lunch, he went straight to Potions. When he got there, the whole class was only beginning to settle in and Professor Slughorn and his enormous belly was walking towards the teacher's table.

James' face brightened as he saw that the only available seat was beside Lily. He made his way to that seat; finally having an opportunity to ask her what she's hiding that could make her avoid him so badly.

Class was a bit boring today, because they were not really going to do any potion work. Today, they were only going to discuss Polyjuice Potion and how to make it, because that's what they're supposed to do for half of the term, giving more time for James to talk to Lily.

He pulled out a spare bit of parchment from his pocket and wrote:

_Lily, why are you avoiding me?_

He then slipped the parchment in front of Lily. He watched Lily's expression closely but it was unreadable. He watched her emerald green eyes move from side to side as she read quickly. To his delight, she pulled out her quill and ink bottle and wrote in the parchment.

Seconds later, a parchment appeared in front of him.

_Nothing really, why would I avoid you?_

James frowned; she was denying it, which only means that whatever she said to Ethan Sparks was a big thing.

_Really? Then why did you ran away from me when I was about to ask you a question for Transfiguration?_

_Did I? Sorry, I didn't notice you there._

There was a slightly panicked expression on her face as she slipped the parchment in front of James.

_You looked straight at me, Lily. Besides, Mary and Remus told me that you have something to tell me._

_They did? Oh, I am so going to get Mary. Really, James, you don't want to know._

_Yeah I do, what is it? Could you please tell me?_

_NO, it's too embarrassing. Besides you'll probably get mad if I'll tell you._

_No, I'm not going to get mad! Please, please, please just tell me! Do you have a problem or something? 'Cause if you do, I'm pretty sure that I can help you :)_

_You can't James, well actually, you can but I'm not 'gonna let you._

James wrote back immediately, his brows furrowed. What was her problem and how could he help?

_What? Why not? You said it yourself, I can help, so why not? It's okay, please? I'm pretty sure I'll be madder when you don't tell me._

_Just drop it, James, okay? There's nothing you can do, honestly, so stop bugging me about it!_

James was about to write back when Professor Slughorn's voice boomed through the room. "Ah, Ms. Evans, would you like to explain to us what the consequences you'll experience when you use non-human hair in the Polyjuice Potion?"

"Certainly, Sir…" and Lily droned on and on and on about how the misuse of Polyjuice Potion can be dangerous. James wasn't really listening, he tuned Lily's voice out; his mind seemed to be stuck on wondering what Lily's problem was.

James thought that after that their note passing would stop Lily from avoiding him but, clearly, he was wrong. After Potions, without even looking at him, Lily gathered her things and without a word to James, she left the classroom.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday passed and James still had no clue on why Lily was avoiding him. He tried to ask Remus and Mary but they said that it was really not their place to tell him… again. They did try to convince Lily to tell him, though, to no success.

As James searched about books for his Herbology essay in the library in a Friday night, just the day before Slughorn's Valentine's Day Party, he heard voices, very familiar voices, in fact.

"… Lily, I don't understand, why don't you just tell him? I'm sure he'll understand, and what would you tell Ethan when you show up alone?" hissed a voice, which he recognized as Mary's.

"Do you want me to look like a slut to him, Mary? Besides, that's easy, I won't show up for the party," Lily hissed back, looking flustered.

"When did you start caring about how he sees you?" whispered Mary, smirking.

"I – I – Oh, just shut up, Mary," hissed Lily, looking down at the book in front of her. Though James had the impression that she wasn't really reading.

James listened closely, wondering who they were talking about, though he had a vague idea who the "he" was.

"James is a nice guy, Mary –" but whatever Mary was supposed to say, they never knew for James chose that moment to appear from behind the shelves, upon hearing his name, taking it as a confirmation.

"What're we talking about, ladies?" he asked in his most winning voice as he sat beside Mary.

"Nothing," said Lily quietly, who quickly averted her gaze from Mary as Mary said, "Lily has something to tell you," at the same time, smirking

"No I don't," argued Lily quickly.

"Yeah, I think _you_ have something to tell _me_," said James in anticipation. What was the thing she was hiding that she was very embarrassed about?

"You don't want to know," muttered Lily, covering her face with her hands.

"Come on! I do! I do want to know! Whatever it is!" complained James in a loud voice as Madam Pince shushed them.

"You _really _want to know?" she asked, her voice muffled for it was still buried in her hands.

"Yeah," answered James, almost jumping in his seat, but he couldn't help but notice Mary smirking.

"No, never mind!" said Lily, her voice still muffled.

"_Oh come on!_" James complained loudly, making Madam Pince shush them again angrily. "Just please, please, _please_, tell me! I won't get mad, I promise," continued James in a whisper as he leaned closer to Lily.

Lily removed her face from her hands and stared at him. He smirked as he saw that she was blushing heavily. She looked down at her lap and played with her fingers, entangling and disentangling them together. James waited for her to say something patiently and Mary was still smirking.

She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Come on, Lily!" Mary urged her when she didn't speak and with every second that she hesitated, James became more and more anticipated.

"Fine," she muttered. Then she turned to James, her cheeks still tinted pink. "Well, I talked to Ethan Sparks a few days ago…" she started and James nodded, remembering seeing them in the corridor last Monday, talking.

"Well, he was part of Slug Club, you know?" continued Lily and James nodded, his expression darkening, already expecting the worst.

"He – He asked me to go with him…" continued Lily in a nervous voice.

"And?" James almost growled, though he was surprised and bewildered to see Mary smirking widely. _Girls,_ he thought as jealously began to spread over him.

But James noticed that there was more into this, for Lily was still fidgeting uncomfortably. "And?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

Lily hesitated, and then drew in another deep breath, glared at Mary, who was still smirking at the two and began, "Well… I kind of – sort of – I kind of told him t – that…" she stuttered, still fidgeting, looking at anything but James.

"That?" James pressed on.

"That – that…. OH! That we are _dating_!" she almost screamed.

"I swear one more shout and you three are banned from the library!" they heard Madam Pince's voice sternly, but the three ignored her. James' jaw was hanging open; Mary was beaming and was resisting the urge laugh and Lily was looking horrified, blushing profusely, watching James' expression.

James was speechless. She told Ethan Sparks that they were dating? _That we are dating_, he repeated the words in his head. Oh, how beautiful it sounds. He just wished that it was really happening though; it was really nice to think that they were dating, even though they weren't and even to think that Lily Evans told a guy he hates that they were dating. It brings joy and happiness to his every being.

Lily clearly misread the expression on his face because she quickly went on in a very fast speech. "I'm sorry, I mean, I didn't meant to. It was just that… I don't really want to go with him and he insisted and you were the first guy that came to me. I'm sorry; you don't really have to pose as my boyfriend or something. I don't really need to go to the party. Maybe I'll tell him that we broke up or something. Not that we were ever together – "

"Lily," James tried to cut her off, but failed, amused.

"I know you probably think I'm some sort of desperate fan girl – "

"_Lily,_" he said, a little loudly, but not loud enough for Madam Pince to hear. This time Lily stopped, still blushing. "It's okay. I don't mind… I don't think that you're a desperate fangirl," he said, grinning.

"Really?" she said, her voice slightly breathless because of the very fast talking she did. "You don't really want to do this you know," she said.

"Oh, yes he does…" muttered Mary and the two glared at her. "Fine, I'll go now…" she grumbled as she gathered her things and walked out of the library.

"What? Are you sure? I'm really sorry…" said Lily still avoiding his eyes.

"No really, it's fine. I mean, that's what friends are for, isn't it?" he said. If only she knew how hard it is for him to say that, to remind himself that they'll be nothing more than friends. He just wished that his hopelessness didn't show in his voice.

He then noticed that Lily was looking down, and her face was covered with her hair, so that he couldn't read her expression. "Yeah…" she finally said after a few seconds.

"So… I'll meet you at the common room at nine?" he asked, grinning.

"Yeah," she grinned back, looking up at him. Their eyes locked and for a moment, they could've been the only people in the world. Something was in Lily's eyes that just kept him trapped every time he looks at her emerald green eyes. They've been friends for months now, and a small part of him still hoped that something would change, a small part that was willing to wait, even if it takes forever.

"Come on, we'd better go," he said, breaking his gaze from her. They walked together, out of the library to Gryffindor Tower, their hands and arms brushing together with every step they take. They entered the common room. James followed Lily to the staircase that leads to the girl's dormitory. He stopped just in front of the first step and Lily did the same.

It seems like his hand was acting in its own accord. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and leaned down so that his mouth was just beside her ear. "I think we should get used to this…" he whispered to her in a low voice and kissed her cheek.

_What the hell?_

Suddenly he became aware of what he was actually doing and he pulled away, to see a blushing Lily, her expression unreadable. He forced his mouth into his most winning grin; he just hoped that he wasn't blushing. He waited for her to hex him or something, but it didn't come. Lily just stared at him with an expression James hadn't seen in her face before.

"See you at our '_date'_ tomorrow," said James awkwardly, wishing that the embarrassment in his voice didn't show.

It took her a few seconds to answer. James didn't know why, but there was something in her face, something so familiar to him, he just couldn't put a finger on it. "Right," she finally choked out in a small voice. She turned around and walked toward her dormitory. As soon as she was out of sight, James buried his face in his hands, groaning. He nearly screwed up again, though he was wondering why Lily was not shouting at him right now.

_Something changed, something definitely changed,_ he thought to himself as he made his way to the stone staircase, to the boy's dormitory.

When he opened the door, he found his friends inside. Peter reading _Transfiguration through the Ages_, Sirius was throwing a ball at the wall and catching it, every time it bounces back to him and Remus was flipping through _Standard Books of Spells Grade 7_. James sat on his bed with a sigh as he threw his bag onto it.

Sirius turned to him and grinned. "What're you blushing about?" he asked.

"Wha – What?" asked James, blushing even more. Was he blushing that much?

"I suppose Lily told you about tomorrow?" said Remus, looking up from his book, grinning.

"What about tomorrow?" asked Peter in his squeaky voice as Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"Lily told Ethan Sparks that they are dating," said Remus, sniggering.

"Shut up," muttered James as he threw a pillow at Remus.

"Evans told Sparks – wait – _what?_" said Sirius incredulously.

"Lily Evans told Ethan Sparks that she and James are dating," repeated Peter.

"Yeah, I know," said Sirius, waving Peter off. "Why did she do that?"

"She said I was the first guy she can think of," said James shrugging.

"But _James_! Doesn't that mean that she fancies you? I mean, you were the first guy that came to her mind, it has to mean something, _Prongs_!" said Sirius and Remus and Peter nodded their agreement.

"Yes it does, it means we're really good friends," reasoned James. But to be honest, he liked the idea of him being the guy that Lily first thought about, but he didn't want to get his hopes up.

"Don't be so thick, James. For all you know, she might actually like you back, I mean, you haven't really asked her, right? You don't even ask her out anymore, what if – what if she thought you don't like her anymore? What're you going to do?" said Remus, slightly exasperated.

"I don't know, but I know something changed, something changed but I don't know what…" said James, not looking at his best mates.

"Which proves our point," muttered Peter, rolling his eyes.

"Look, could we just changed the subject?" said James stubbornly.

"Fine," said Sirius, knowing that James was too stubborn for them to continue their previous subject. "So, what did you do when you knew?" he asked.

"Nothing," he lied quickly, a little too quickly. He was not about to tell them what he did just a while ago.

The three looked suspiciously at James but let the subject go. "So it's like a date?" asked Peter.

"Yeah," answered James. "But a fake one," he added uncertainly.

"So what're you going to do tomorrow?" asked Sirius.

"Honestly… I don't know…" answered James, lost in thought. What was he going to do tomorrow? He just wished it wouldn't be awkward. But the thing that changed… it keeps on bugging his mind. It was like it was shouting at him to realize what it is, but he just couldn't. Maybe he _was_ thick, because he couldn't read an expression but you couldn't blame him, boys tend to get thick at some times.

James looked up to see his friends looking at him expectantly. "I…" James started, but he honestly doesn't know what to say, "I think I'm going to bed." He finally said as he got up, changed into his pajamas, placed his glasses on the nightstand, shut the hangings from his bed and sank into his bed.

Sometimes he just feels like he's numb. He's been ignoring feelings for a very long time now that it almost makes him feel nothing at all. But as he remembered what he was about to do tomorrow, all the things that he's been hiding inside him crashed. Jealousy, anger, hopelessness, confusion came crashing together, caused by a single girl and he sighed deeply. He didn't know what to do or how to deal with it exactly. He covered his face in his hands.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked out loud, groaning.

"Talk to her, I don't think that you'll be able to get her if you just sulk and give up," came Remus' voice. For once, James had forgotten that they were there; he was so lost in his thoughts that he forgot that his friends were here. He suddenly remembered what Lily said to him, when he lost his parents, months ago. _"Well, I was just saying that how could you expect your friends to help you if you don't let them…."_ She had said. _Really_, he could be so thick sometimes.

"I'm being a jerk, aren't I?" he asked as he pulled the hangings from his bed open, grabbed his glasses and shoved it on.

"Well, you _are_ a jerk, so it doesn't really matter," commented Sirius and James glared at him.

"So what am I supposed to do?" he asked.

"I dunno… just tell her how you feel," suggested Remus with a shrug.

"And? What if she doesn't feel the same way?" said James.

"Walk away," said Sirius simply.

"Walk away? Why would I do that?" said James incredulously.

"Because you need to let it out, if you don't you're going to burst. At least you let her know what you feel, at least she knows there's someone waiting for her when she falls," Sirius stated seriously.

James laughed. "Okay, Padfoot, where did you read that from?" asked James. Sirius was actually saying things about _love_ and it actually seems like he's right, even if it's _too_ cheesy.

"Hey! I know… things!" said Sirius as he Remus and Peter exchanged significant glances.

"Fine, I'll tell her…" muttered James. Tomorrow was going to be a _long_, long day.

*** * ***

**Is it good? Because I honestly don't know. Tell me if you love it or hate it, just do it nicely, okay? I'm only thirteen! You have to give me some consideration, right?**

**BTW, this is going to be the second to the last chapter and I'm SORRY because I don't think I can do the sequel, school is starting and I always have a busy school year. What with cheerleading practice and maintaining my grades, I don't think I'm going to have time to write it, sorry guys… I'm really sorry**

**Review, please? ;)**


	12. It's Worth the Wait

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**Hey, so finally… the last chapter, a long one too! Anyway, Thanks to you all who reviewed my story! **

**Ugh, I AM VERY SORRY for not updating in a very long time. School started and I had to keep my mind straight if I don't want to get kicked out of the varsity team.**

**BTW, I checked the calendar, Valentine's Day on 1987 is indeed on Saturday, LOL.**

**Like always, read and review and constructive criticisms are nice.**

**-imsonotagirl93 ;)**

*** * ***

**Chapter 12: It's Worth the Wait**

James tossed and turned in his bed, the possibility of what might or might not happen tomorrow was still fresh in his mind. He doesn't know what to say to her, or even act around her if they're posing as though they were dating. What was he supposed to say? How would he tell her how he feels? _"Hey, Lily! You know I really like you, I just thought you should know that. So, I'll walk away now…"_ Well, he could say that, if he wanted Lily's loud voice ringing in his ears for a week.

He didn't know how he went to sleep, with so much going on in his mind, but soon enough, it was already Saturday morning, and the morning sun was shining through the window as he opened his eyes, the morning sunlight stinging his eyes. He groaned as he remembered what day today was. Valentine's Day.

And today happens to be the day where he and Lily were supposed to act as a couple. If it wasn't a fake relationship, this just might be the best day of his life. Though the outcome of what he was about to say to her later would count if he was considering the best day of his life. If she suddenly realized that she liked him back, then _this _would be the best day of his life, _but _if Lily thought that this was some kind of joke and that he's been playing with her all along, then this would be the worst day of his life.

He liked the first one better.

He got up and his hand searched for his glasses. He shoved them on and looked around the room. Sirius and Peter were getting dressed, Sirius' eyes were half-open, if it weren't for breakfast, they wouldn't be up this early on a Saturday anyway. Remus was already dressed, always the early bird. James got up and dressed sleepily. When they were all done, the four headed down to the common room to meet a _very _disgruntled and loud Lily Evans.

"… Mary what am I supposed to _do_?!" she shrieked oblivious to the Marauders' presence.

The marauders looked questioningly at Mary, who looked nervously at Lily. Ah, the Lily Evans temper, it can make_ anyone_ scared, even her best friend.

"Erm – Lily, I'm sure you can tell him _calmly_ _and quietly_…" said Mary, looking imploringly at the Marauders, who were barely containing their laughter.

"What do you mean, Mary? _I can't just barge in their dormitory!_" she shrieked again.

"Er – You don't have to, Lily," said Mary quietly.

"Wha - ?" she turned around, and the Marauders quickly dropped their smiles, turning their faces into a serious expression, as far as they can manage.

"Oh," she muttered, blushing.

"What's the problem, Lily?" asked Remus.

"Uh – Nothing really… Erm…" mumbled Lily embarrassedly.

"You guys go on, I'll catch up," said James after a few seconds of silence between them. The Marauders smirked as they walked past them, dragging Mary along with them. As soon as they were out of the common room, James spoke up.

"So… what're you yelling about?" he asked Lily, who was still looking at her feet, her eyes seemed to be glued to it.

"Nothing," Lily muttered. James raised his eyebrows.

"So there's nothing like a good, nice and loud voice to wake everybody up on a early Saturday morning, right?" he joked. Lily looked up and glared at him as James continued to laugh silently. After a few minutes, Lily finally spoke about her problem.

"Well, you know… everyone's going to be in the Great Hall and – Erm – you know…" muttered Lily reluctantly, her voice trailing off, still talking to her feet.

"Oh!" said James as realization hit him and his laughing immediately stopped. They have to pose like they were dating, did he mention in front of the whole school, with the whole student body and the professors watching?

"Yeah," said Lily quietly, slightly pink in the cheeks.

"Come on then," said James, grinning, to lighten Lily's mood, though he wasn't feeling good himself. It worked, Lily smiled back at him.

The two walked out of the common room silently. They went down one… two… three flights of stairs as James' heart pounded nervously. He was more nervous than he let on and Lily seemed to be feeling the same thing because she was fidgeting with her fingers, entangling and disentangling it.

When they reached the sixth flight of stairs, James finally spoke up, to get rid of the nervousness that he was feeling. "So, what did you tell Sparks when we weren't together when we're supposed to be?" he asked.

"Oh," she said, her tone making it clear that he distracted her train of thoughts. "I told him we were having a row," she said, shrugging. James wondered for a second on what she was thinking about.

"A row? About what?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Lily chuckled. "Studying habits, I don't think he believed me, though." she said quietly.

"Typical," James muttered, chuckling lightly. Her eyes lightened up, for some reason and James couldn't help but to stare into it. They just stared at each other as they walked and James was quite glad that they didn't bump into a suit of armor or a wall or something as they did.

James quickly tore his eyes away from her, not wanting her to think that he was taking advantage of their little act. They lapsed into silence again.

They stopped as they reached the final corridor before they reached the Great Hall. James took a deep breath and Lily did the same.

"So," she said.

"So…" he repeated. There was an awkward silence between them. James chose to break it, not wanting the moment to get any more awkward.

"I think we should hold hands or something…" he finally said, running a hand through his hair, holding out his hand for her to take. "Oh…" she said as she grabbed James' hand, linking their fingers together. Goosebumps ran from his hand to his whole body, but he ignored it. They walked to the Great Hall together and as soon as they did, heads turned from every table to them.

"Why are they all staring?" muttered Lily out of the corner of her mouth.

"I dunno, maybe it's because of the fact that we're supposed to be lifelong enemies whose holding hands right now…" James muttered back. He didn't know where to look. He didn't think he could stand looking at the smirking Marauders and Mary or at the shocked faces of the girls in all the different Houses or the glares of the boys that's been too scared of James to ask Lily out, so he looked at the staff's table instead. The other professor's were wearing half-shocked and half-pleased expressions in their faces. James' eyes fell on Dumbledore. He was beaming at them in an amused way, which gave James the impression that Dumbledore completely knew about the whole charade.

They sat with the other Marauders and Mary. As soon as their hands were hidden under table from the other people's view, they let go of each other, flashing embarrassed smiles, both blushing. They have to sit closer than usual, making James more and more embarrassed. He was wondering if Lily felt the same thing too.

"You better enjoy it while it lasts," Sirius muttered to him, so low for only James to hear.

James kicked his shin from under the table and Sirius' grin slipped from his face as he yelled in pain. Several Gryffindors looked at the noise and James smiled and grinned innocently at them, some girls giggled, until they turned away.

James found it hard to eat properly because he and Lily kept bumping into each other's arm and shoulder and every time they do, James could've drop his spoon.

Obviously, classes didn't help either, because they have to sit together to continue their charade, they still have to pretend even to their fellow Gryffindors. James was _very_ aware of who he was sitting with the whole time and how they were supposed to look to people, making it very hard to concentrate on what he was doing. When they were in the common room, during free period or break, they have to study together, sometimes when people come in they have to lean into each other as James puts his arm around her, only to let go if the people already left, which made him even more embarrassed. But don't get him wrong, he was not at all embarrassed about being with Lily Evans. In fact, he longed for this moment to come; only he pictured it as a _real_ relationship.

During lunch though, they parted for James retreated to the library, telling Lily that he needed a book about DADA, but the truth was, he just needed some time alone because the time of their "date" was nearing and he needed to gather himself up if he wanted to act mature later. He stayed there for several minutes, staring at nothing in particular.

When he got back to the common room, though, he saw Camilla Vane and her cronies and, surprisingly, Lily. It seems that they were having a fight for Lily's face was set into a cold expression while Camilla was smirking wildly.

He walked closer to them as he heard what they were fighting about.

"… and I'm supposed to believe that you and James Potter are dating. Yeah, right," said Camilla, sneering.

Lily's face went red as she tried to say something defiantly. "Really, do you have an eye problem or something, Vane? Didn't you – "but James cut her off when he figured that it was time to intervene.

"Hello, ladies," he said smoothly as he flung his arm around Lily's shoulders as Lily's arm snaked around his waist and he felt an uncomfortable lurch in his stomach. "Is there a problem here?" he asked. Camilla and her girls huffed angrily as Lily's smirked at them hugely as she blushed.

"Come on, Lily, let's go up to my room," he said as he kissed the top of Lily's head for added effect. They walked to the stone staircase to the dormitories. As soon as they were out of sight from the girls and the other people in the common room they let go of each other, heaving a sigh of relief.

"Sorry 'bout that," muttered Lily as James opened the door of the Marauder's dormitory to let her in.

"What are you sorry about?" asked James as he closed the door behind him, raising an eyebrow. He sat on his bed and he gestured to Lily to sit down too, so, she sat down on Remus' bed, whose bed was the cleanest of them all.

"I got you into this…" she muttered.

"No, it's alright, no problem at all…" he said, grinning, as they talked

The rest of the day passed by with girls shooting furtive glares and glances at them nut James hardly noticed them as his mind wandered away to what's going to happen tonight and how would he tell Lily the things that's needed to be said.

In what seemed like minutes to James, it was 8:30 in the evening and he, Sirius, Remus and Peter (invited by the Marauders, of course), were getting for the party. James was nervously pacing around the room, completely restless, his heart pounding wildly.

"James, would you just settle down for a minute?" complained Sirius as James circled the room for the umpteenth time. James merely nodded; half of his mind was in their dormitory while the other half was in Slughorn's Party and Lily. He sat on his bed, only to move to sit on Sirius' then moving to flop down on Remus'. When he was about to move to Peter's bed, Sirius' voice interrupted him.

"_James, would you just settle down for a minute?!_" he repeated, exasperated. "You're making me dizzy!"

"I think I'll just go to the common room…" he said, his voice trailing off, completely oblivious to the fact that his mates were irritated by his restlessness.

"Yeah, you do that," said Remus, not looking up from _Advanced Potion-Making 7_. It was a quarter to nine and James walked tentatively through the stone steps, fearing that he might fall because of his nervousness. When he got to the common room, safely, he sat on his favorite armchair. He found the common room nearly empty, it's only occupants were the only students who were either not invited to the party or gone up early to bed.

He waited for the other Marauders and his "date", his face buried in his hands, his heart still pounding wildly.

It was ten minutes before nine o'clock when the other two Marauders arrived, soon followed by Sirius and Sirius' date, Camilla Vane, wearing a black dress that hung inches above her knees, winking at him as she sat beside Sirius. James shook his head and looked away. What girls do to just get a boy's attention, especially Vane, was irritating.

Remus and Peter were talking; Sirius and Camilla were flirting when, at exactly nine o'clock, Lily went down from her dormitory.

James found himself standing up, his mouth hanging slightly open. All three other boys stared at her and Camilla glared jealously at her. In front of them, standing was very beautiful young woman. Actually, she was beyond beautiful; he just couldn't find a word that's beyond that.

She was wearing a simple gold dress which hung just above her knees, but there was something about her that made it more beautiful than it's supposed to be. Her hair was curled at the end and lay against her shoulder.

She clearly misread the expressions in their faces because a panicked expression appeared on her face.

"Oh no! Is it the dress or the hair? Because I swear, Mary just forced me into this," she said, biting her lip, blushing.

It took a moment for him to register what Lily said into his mind.

"No, no, you look… _great_, actually…" he finished lamely and the others nodded their agreement. Lily beamed at them.

"Thanks, you don't look bad yourself," she said.

"Hmm… if James doesn't like you, I think I'll consider dating you, Evans," said Sirius almost as if as an afterthought and Camilla turned to glare at him and then at Lily. James turned to him and looked at him incredulously. He so wanted to hex so badly right now, but he didn't want to ruin Lily's mood. His hand twitched to his wand when Sirius gave him an innocent look.

He turned so that he couldn't look at Sirius anymore before he lost his patience. He turned to find Lily giving him a funny look.

"Come on," he muttered before Sirius could say anything stupid.

He led her to the portrait hole, closely followed by the others. They walked to Slughorn's office without a word. When they reached Slughorn's office, which seemed to be magically enlarged, Slughorn's past and present students filled the whole room. The school colors, blue and bronze for Ravenclaw, yellow and black for Hufflepuff, red and gold for Gryffindor and silver and green for Slytherin, were present in the room, but mostly, there was silver and green, because of the fact that Professor Slughorn was the Head of House of the Slyhterins.

House- elves were walking around the room, carrying large trays, containing food and drinks, above their heads, making them look like a walking tables. For a moment, James thought about their house-elves, who were now working in Hogwarts, and if he was going to see them here today.

Slughorn's past and present students filled the whole room.

Lily dragged him to a far corner, away from the Marauders and Camilla Vane, and Slughorn who was talking to some Ravenclaws, including Ethan Sparks.

James was at loss on what to say to her now. What could he possibly say that would not be awkward at all? Things between them were awkward enough. So… instead of speaking and ruining everything, he just stayed quiet, waiting for Lily to speak first, but it seemed that she was not going to speak at all if he didn't.

"Do you want to get some drinks or something?" he asked her. He was about to go and get some when a strong hand closed around his wrist, pulling him back. He turned to find Lily, clutching his wrist. James' eyebrows shot up.

"No," she muttered. "I don't want him to talk to us," she explained further when James' eyebrows rose higher.

James cocked his head to the side. "You really don't like him, do you?" he asked.

"Well, he's not really my type," Lily said, smirking, for some unknown reason.

"So tell me then, who _is_ your type?" he said, grinning cockily.

"Would I honestly tell James Potter who my type is?" she asked him.

"Well, why not?"

"Please… you're James Potter, if I tell you, then Remus and Peter and Black would know," Lily explained to him.

"Yeah, well, what's wrong with them knowing who your type is?" James asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"Because…! Oh, never mind!" she said exasperatedly, crossing her arms across her chest. James chuckled quietly, shaking his head. He wished that they would be this comfortable with each other when they talk.

And suddenly, it hit him. This was his chance to tell her, to tell her that he likes her so much. He took a deep breath and his expression quickly turned into one of seriousness.

"Look, Lily, I have to tell you something…" he said, he heart pounding wildy.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I… I…" he tried to form the words, but it never came. It seemed like he had some brain damage at the moment that he couldn't make out proper words.

"Yes?" she repeated, raising her eyebrows.

"I… You know, I…" he trailed off, unable to say anything further. What if she got angry? What if she doesn't like him back? What is she only likes him as a friend? He couldn't stand to get hurt, not anymore, and he didn't want to move on either, like Sirius suggested so many times now, because he can't, he just can't.

"James? James what is it that you want to tell me?" she asked, waving her hand in front of his face. He blinked and realized that Lily was waiting for him to say something.

"I…" but he can't say it, he can't. "I… I'm really hungry so can we please get something to eat?" he said this all a little too quickly. Lily raised her eyebrows; suspicion was clear in her features, but fortunately, he went with it.

"Fine, but keep low, I really don't want to talk to him," she said and James grabbed her arm, dragging her along to table full of food. But before he even laid his hands on the food before him, Lily dragged him away.

"Quick, he's making his way over!" and with that, she dragged him out of the office, to a deserted corridor.

"Hey! I was going to eat!" he complained once they stopped walking.

"Well, do you want to talk to him?" she asked.

"Well, _no_, but…" James answered but he was soon cut off by Lily.

"Then I don't see what you are complaining about," she said simply.

He groaned. "So what are we supposed to do now?" he asked her.

Lily sighed. "I don't know, maybe we should get back to the common room, the party sucks anyway,"

"Okay," James silently agreed, disappointment hidden in his voice. He was quiet throughout their walk to the Gryffindor Tower. He had the chance and he blew it! He totally, _completely_ blew it. Fear got the best of him and there was nothing he can do, well, honestly, he didn't know _what_ to do.

When they reached the common room, James hadn't still said a word to her. But when she said a quick goodnight and strode off to her dormitory, was the only time he spoke up. It was his last chance.

"Lily, wait!" he called for her attention. She turned around an expectant look on her face. Maybe she sensed that she was going to finally know what he was trying to say a while ago.

"I…" but he couldn't really bring himself to say it. He has been saying to Lily how much he likes her for years, six years to be exact, but he didn't know why he couldn't say it now. Maybe it's because of the fact that he hadn't said it for months or maybe because this time, it's more serious.

"… good night," he muttered embarrassedly, blushing. Lily gave him a funny look for a minute but nodded eventually.

"Good night, James," Lily said with a sigh. With that she turned and continued her walk to her dormitory. James stomped to his dormitory. Once he got there, he sank onto his bed, without changing or removing his shoes. He looked up at the ceiling.

His one last chance and he spoiled it. He couldn't even say a word about. He was pathetic. But really, how was he supposed to say that, without making it sound wrong? He didn't know how long he lied there, hours, maybe. When Sirius and the others arrived, he was certain that it was late at night, for the sky outside was much darker than before.

The three boys looked at him and James grinned up at them. "Your hair's a little messed up there, Padfoot," he said when he noticed Sirius' slightly messed up appearance, but Sirius didn't reply with a witty comment, like he expected. Instead, he replied in a serious voice.

"So what happened to you and Evans?" he asked.

"Yeah, you guys just vanished there a while ago," Remus said. James' grin slipped from his face.

"It went fine, just fine," he lied unconvincingly, without looking at his friends. Sirius scoffed.

"Oh, you went with her, then you managed to tell her how you feel and snogged her senseless, did you?" Sirius said, raising an eyebrow.

"As a matter of fact, I did," he lied again in a flat voice.

This time, all three of them scoffed at James' statement. "Just tell us what happened," Peter said in the same serious tone.

"Fine, I didn't tell her," he muttered embarassedly, still not looking at them.

"Care to elaborate on that?" Remus said.

"Fine… I chickened out!" James admitted, he looked at his mates, expecting them to laugh, but they didn't. James was confused, usually, at this kind of moment, his friends would burst out laughing, only this time, they weren't. All three of them were actually wearing serious expressions.

"What is the matter with you guys?" he asked them incredolously.

"What?" Peter asked, rather innocently, a little too innocently, in fact.

James raised his eyebrows. "Last year, when I say something like this _but now_, you're serious and all, like it's some very important business of yours. What the bloody hell happened?" he asked.

The three exchanged looks, making James more skeptical about their whole business. James shifted his gaze from Sirius, to Remus, to Peter, then back again. A minute later, Remus finally muttered a disgruntled, "_Fine_, you tell him," looking at Sirius as he jerked his head towards James' direction. James' eyebrows rose even higher.

"What? Tell me what?" he asked.

Sirius gave a defeated sigh before he started to speak. "Remember the start of the year, you know, when you always talk and talk about going out with Evans?" Sirius started rather nervously.

"What about it?"

"When you guys were on patrol, well, we – err – kind of made a bet, ten galleons on whoever get you and Evans together, first – "

At these words, something in James snapped, maybe it was his patience, he wasn't really in the mood when he entered this room and the three marauders' revelation isn't helping at all. "_What?_ You guys bet on us?" he asked incredulously, as he found himself standing up from his bed.

"Wait! Let him finish first!" said Remus calmly as he looked imploringly at his friend, pleading that he should calm down and sit down back on his bed. James considered, for a moment. After a minute, he finally answered Remus' plea and sat down back on his bed, readying for the worst.

"Fine," he muttered, disgruntled.

"It was supposed to be just us three, Remus, Peter and me, but then Mary heard our conversation, so it became Remus and Mary against me and Peter, but you know how Peter sucks at that kind of game," Peter was about to protest at Sirius' statement but James silenced him with a look.

"So I joined Remus and Mary," Sirius continued. "Then it kind of snowballed after, it all became just one plan," he finished, looking cautiously at James, awaiting his reaction at this revelation.

James didn't know if he should feel betrayed, because his friends didn't tell him about the plan concerning how he can get the girl he wants, the least they could do, if they wanted to help him, is to let him in on the plan, right? What they did, it's very… _un-Marauder-like_. He didn't know if he should feel happy too, because his friends were trying to help him, but then, he almost laughed at the thought, their master plan to get them together never worked.

The three was still looking at him cautiously, nervous for his reaction. After a few minutes of considering, James finally spoke up.

"I honestly don't know what or how to feel," he said, eyeing the faces of his friends. The three let out a relieved sigh. "But one thing's for sure…" he continued. Sirius looked curiously at him.

"What?" he asked confusedly.

"_Your bloody plan didn't work!_" James said angrily, nearly shouting. Somehow, his angry tone made Sirius very irritated.

"Well, it's not our fault that you're thick and clueless!" he said back, just as angrily. James rolled his eyes exasperatedly, a bit stung at his words.

"Whatever, I'm going to bed," he huffed angrily as he angrily shut the hangings around his bed and fell back onto his pillows. He heard the Marauders scurrying outside, getting ready for bed.

James and Sirius rarely fought, and when they did it was always for the same reason: Lily Evans. Sirius said that he was always too worked up about it and that he should loosen up, but he never followed his advice.

James tried very hard to fall asleep. All he needed now was sleep to take over him to calm his nerves, he could deal with his and Sirius' trouble tomorrow, and anyway, Sirius was not the one to hold grudges to his friends, especially him. But no matter how much he tried squeezing his eyes shut, counting to ten over and over again or counting a hundred jumping sheep inside his head and any other sleeping techniques, sleep just wouldn't come.

He didn't know how long he tossed and turned in bed, it could've been minutes or hours, but when he couldn't take it anymore he sat up, threw the covers off of him, pushed the hangings open and grabbed his glasses from his bedside table.

He waited for his eyes to adjust in the darkness and looked around the room. The marauders were sleeping, Sirius and Peter, snoring loudly as usual and he could hear Remus' quiet breathing. He quietly stepped out of his bed, wincing as the cold floor made contact with his bare foot. He quietly made his way towards the door, carefully kicking the clothes, books and parchment on the floor, out of his way. Wow, their dormitory was really _messy_.

He opened the door quietly and slipped out of it. He made his way down the staircase, to the empty common room, or at least, he thought it was empty.

When he got there he saw a girl, her red hair grazing softly against her shoulders, sitting by the window, curled up like a ball, just by looking at her face, you could tell that she was lost in thought. She was staring down at the dark school grounds with a glassy look in her eyes, giving James the impression that she wasn't really looking at the school grounds.

He was confused. What was Lily Evans doing in the common room at a time like this? Another question was: What was she thinking about? Curiosity took over him as he felt his feet drag him towards Lily. She was clearly surprised when she felt the couch lower from James' weight as he sat beside her. She looked up with a startled expression on her face, but then it softened when she saw who it was.

"What are you doing down here at this time?" she asked him.

"I should be asking you the same thing," James said raising his eyebrows as he pulled his feet up on the couch. Lily smiled as she shook her head.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep; I was thinking about some…_ stuff_," she said, looking back down at the grounds. Then, there was silence, Lily, her head still turned towards the window and James, looking at her. He wondered if she'll ever be his. He wondered how she'll be if they graduated from Hogwarts, if they entered the real and dangerous world out there, would she be safe? Even if they wouldn't be together after Hogwarts, though he still hoped that they would be, just the thought of her being in danger made his heart pound and his blood boil.

He was so distracted that he hadn't realized that Lily was watching him closely. "What are you thinking about?" she asked softly.

"Some… stuff," he said, repeating what Lily said earlier.

"Would you mind telling me what you were thinking about?" she asked, a grin slipping on her face.

James considered if he should tell her the truth or not. "The future," he stated simply, settling for the half-truth. Lily nodded.

"What about you?" James said.

"What about me?" she asked him.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked. Lily looked up at him with an unreadable expression; she seemed to be considering something. It took a minute for her to answer James' question.

She sighed. "A boy," she said simply. James' stomach lurched and his heart could've fallen down to his stomach, though he fought hard to keep his expression happy and far from hurt.

"Hmm… do I know this boy?" he asked. Lily chuckled.

"Yeah," she said, nodding. James grew excited and hurt at the same time. Excited because, whoever this boy was he could prank him until he gets away from Lily and hurt because he knew it wasn't him at all, but a part of him was still hoping that it was.

"How does he look?" he asked.

"Black hair," she said, there was a glint of mischief in her eyes and James looked curiously at her.

"Would you mind narrowing it down, because almost half of the school population has black hair," he said. "Oh! And please don't tell me that it's Sirius, _or _Snape," he added. Lily suppressed a laugh.

"Fine, but I assure you, it's not Sirius, or Snape, for that matter," she said. For a minute, he and Lily were shaking with laughter. When they were done shaking with laughter, Lily spoke again.

"Fine," she repeated. James looked down, not even daring to look at her, because he knew that it would hurt. He hated himself for even letting this subject go too far.

"Black hair, _messy_ black hair, he wears _glasses_, _hazel_ eyes…" James was startled, he looked up. Lily was watching him. Did she just say what he thought she did? No, it can't be, but she did, she did say it. There was a moment of silence as the two stared into each other's eyes.

"Well… if you put it _that_ way…" he said, his voice trailing off.

"It's you…" Lily finished his sentence.

James was confused, _completely_ and _utterly_ confused.

"But you… you said to Mary…" but he trailed off again as a realization hit him. Remus was right! And he was so dumb! He should've believed Remus, he was the smart one after all. That was why she never really got mad when they played spin the bottle, why she always forgave him when he did something wrong.

"What? Said what?" Lily asked him, this time; it was her turn to be confused.

"I heard you, talking to Mary! You thought I didn't like you anymore, did you?" he said.

"Well, it sure does look like it! You haven't been asking me out almost for the whole year. And the letter, do you remember? You said: _'I hope you understand. I wish we could still be friends'_, and then, that night, when we were on patrol, you got angry at me, right? So I assumed that you've given up… Anyway, it doesn't matter, I deserved it – "she said but James cut her off. Her face was almost turning as red as her hair.

"Lily! How the hell can I give up on you? Wait – You missed me asking you out?" he said, his eyes suddenly lighting up.

"Oh, shut up, I never should've told you, I liked you better when you're ego wasn't too big," she muttered. James laughed and soon enough, Lily joined in. After a few minutes of them shaking with laughter, they finally stopped. They lapsed into silence.

What now? Now that they both knew, would they go out? _Should _they go out? What if she gets angry and says that it's just an infatuation and it will pass and he shouldn't expect for more?

Lily seemed to sensed what he's thinking, because she said, with a laugh, "James, if you wanted to go out with me, all you have to do is ask!"

James chuckled nervously. "Fine, but I never thought that I would see the day that I would be nervous to ask you out," he said. "Lily," he continued, reaching his hand to her to tuck a stray strand of her red hair behind her ear. "Will you go out with me?"

"I'd love to," she murmured. They just smiled at each other. It was a comfortable silence, the first one they ever had.

"So, why did you stop? Asking me out, I mean," she asked suddenly, he could see curiosity gleaming in her eyes.

James raised his eyebrows. "We made a deal, remember?"

"Yeah, well, considering that you are _James Potter_, I thought you wouldn't follow that deal," she said, the two of can't seem to remove the grin off of their faces.

"But considering that you're _Lily Evans_, I thought that you would've liked me fulfilling that deal," he said.

"How ironic is that?" she said, shaking her head.

"What about you? How did you know that you liked me?" He asked, he never mentioned to her the notes that he found, which she wrote; she might just get angry at him.

"When you stopped asking me out, I never thought that I'd dread the day that you would stop asking me out, I never really believed it at first, I kept on denying from myself. You'll never know how much a thing means to you until you lose it." She said with a small smile, James couldn't help but smile back at her, her smile was just intoxicating.

"You never lost me," he remarked.

"But I thought I lost my chance," she explained as James nodded.

"So, when did you stop denying it from yourself?" he asked, out of curiousity.

"You know when you lost that Quidditch Match?" she said. James grimaced.

"Don't remind me," he said, grimly, it was the match where they lost because they got injured.

"Yeah, well, did you ever have the feeling that something feels so wrong, but then, it feels so right at the same time?" she asked in a slightly dreamy voice.

James nodded, he can _totally_ relate with what she was saying. "That's when I learned that I can't hide it anymore; you can't seem to get off of my mind. I was worried for you," she said, looking straight at him. James was a little pink in the cheeks.

"I visited you, you know," she said, almost as if as an afterthought. This made James really interested.

"Really? Why?" he asked, grinning happily.

"Just to get peace on my mind, it's been bugging all day, so I figured that if I visited you, it will stop," she said.

"And it did?" he asked.

"Yeah," she murmured, smiling up at him. They lapsed into a comfortable silence again. James just wanted to try just _one thing_ now, and he wanted to try it _properly_. Lily must be watching him because she said:

"What are you thinking about now?" she asked.

Without even thinking of an at least decent answer, he said, "Kissing you," he saw Lily's cheek brighten with a shade of pink, but she laughed anyway.

"Well, considering that our first kiss was a complete disaster, maybe we should give it another try," she said, smirking. James grinned as he leaned closer.

Soon, they were kissing, and the tingling sensation he felt every time he was too close to Lily Evans, was back, fogging his brain, so he just let himself get lost into her, time must've stopped, because he didn't know at all how long they stayed there, if they stayed for minutes or for an hour, but eventually, they broke apart, gasping for breath, but grinning at the same time.

"I can't believe that we just did that," Lily said.

"Well, believe it, I'm yours," James was proud to say that he was finally hers and she was finally his. He touched her soft hair once more and leaned in to kiss her forehead. But Lily began to yawn hugely as James chuckled, leaning back.

"You're tired already? Am I really that good in snogging?" said James, smirking. Lily laughed.

"It's almost one in the morning," she noted. So he led her to the staircase, leading to the girls' dormitory.

"Good night," he said as he caught a stray strand of hair from Lily's hair and tucked it behind her ear.

Lily grinned again; it seemed that they were grinning a lot tonight. "G'night, James," she said, her voice sounding slightly slurred. She might be really sleepy.

"Get some sleep, alright?" he said to her. Lily nodded sleepily. James leaned to kiss her forehead.

"Good night," he called again as she began to walk up the staircase, Lily turned her head around and gave him a sleepy smile, before turning back again to walk towards her dormitory.

James stared at her as her form began to vanish. He didn't know how long he stood there, watching the spot where she was, just a moment ago, his mind seemed to be dazed as it went through his conversation with Lily a while ago, as if it was on tape, it kept on repeating itself inside his head, especially that _perfect_ moment.

He can't believe that after all those months of desperately trying to win her over this year, the only thing that hinders them to have something more than friendship was he himself. If he wasn't as thick as a concussed troll, then he might've realized the signs that Lily Evans was starting to like him. He had to admit, he was too blinded by his feelings, too afraid to hurt himself that he failed to see the answer to his problems, which were already there, right in front of him. He should've realized it sooner, and not noticing it immediately was the biggest mistake of his life.

And now that he has the girl he desired, he knew that he would do anything to no let her go this time.

* * *

**Yay! It's finally done! Well, I hope this lived up to expectations, if it didn't, well sorry, but my mind is going through a lot lately.**

**Wow, this was so long, fifteen pages in Word! Ha-ha, anyway, reviews, reviews, reviews, reviews is VERY MUCH appreciated. ;)**


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